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Category: Questions with no answers

Still More Options

A couple of days ago I wrote about options. Choices that we as Sisters and Brothers within our Human family may make that may help us along the path to Conciliation with our other Sisters and Brothers who look, talk, or live differently than we.
These are the People whom evolution has trained us over millennia to distrust because of the possible danger of anything, or anyone, who is “Other.” These fears are deeply ingrained into the very fabric of our being.
And, they are not easily removed so that healing can take place.
I also wrote that not only are the Oppressed victims of these fears. Oppressors, too, suffer lasting hurt. We cannot do things to others without searing our own consciences and minds.
We cannot, like Christopher Columbus, feed children to dogs or amputate limbs from helpless, indigenous people and NOT do lasting damage to ourselves.
Healing is something that we all must work for.
Healing is also something that I cannot do for myself.
Just as we engage in horrific practices of “Othering” within a specific group of people, so must we heal within groups of others.
I cannot simply sit in my office and turn off generations of implicit and explicit biases alone. These biases were developed by the communities that I have been a part of.
They have been reinforced through social and cultural conditioning to the point that I am unable to see how they live and affect me. I NEED Others to walk alongside me and support me and help me see the blind spots that are there. And, I need these Others to be Other than I am. For if I only look to my own clan, we will collectively remain blind.

I have debated whether or not to take this discussion in the direction that I will. Especially, since in my previous post I lumped religion, myth,and philosophy together and cited them as being ineffective. And, in fact, when looked at through the lens of history, they have in many ways not only been ineffective, but have aided in the cultures of abuse and hatred that we are now seeing the fruit of.
But, I am a religious person. I’ve spent much of my adult life studying and reflecting on religion and its effects on people. I have found very little that can have as profound or lasting effects on people and communities, for good or ill, than religion. We need only look to the shootings at churches, mosques, and synagogues in our own country. Not to mention female, genital mutilation and honor killings in many Muslim cultures.
But, then, there are those who risk their lives to care for that sick and hungry. In the Middle Ages it was the religious who went into the homes of plague victims to comfort the dying.
Religion has the ability to bring out the very best and the very worst in humanity.
Can we focus that influence to specifically Good outcomes?

Ever since the first hominins gathered together into communities religion has been a part of life. Flashes of lightning and crashing thunder made them look to the heavens and ascribe personality to these phenomena. Great beasts were endowed with supernatural power and divinity. Rituals to appease these great powers developed. If only we can produce the correct offerings given in the correct ways, perhaps the Powers will bring the rain when we need it and keep destruction away.
Proto-religion was born.
The priests and others who became the spokespeople for both Divinity and humanity were granted authority to make sure that all was done properly. Of course, this authority was itself rife with abuse.

The reason that I share this at all is because I believe, (you certainly don’t need to), that there is a part of us that feels a disconnect from a spiritual Reality. We attempt to reconnect to that using all sorts of different means and methods. Some sources take the word ‘religion’ and see in it the root religare, “to bind fast.” Similar to our word ligament as something that binds one thing to another. In this case humanity binds itself with a deity or power through various practices and rituals.

So, I look around. I try to see what religion does in and through people.

Unfortunately, I see very little good. Besides the violence and abuses that any religious fundamentalism brings, there are dogmas and rules that are used to control how people think and behave. People cite holy books and writings for justification to seize power. In the 14th and 15th centuries Papal Bulls were issued that resulted in the enslavement and deaths of countless African and Indigenous people. All justified by god’s representatives on earth.
“I was just following god’s will!” they cry.

No. Sorry. You were not.
You were following your own appetites and desire for riches and powers.
You corrupted something that was good. Something that we used in order to ‘re-connect’ and ‘hold fast’ to God you used for your own corrupt and damnable aims.

Ok, so why the lesson on religion?

Simply stated, as I mentioned above, religion is a powerful motivator. It can motivate us to good or ill.
I also alluded to that part of each person that seeks connection with something greater than itself. A deity or power or whatever. There is a longing for that.
For myself, I believe that there is actually a Divine with Whom we may connect.

And, I believe that this Divine is inherently Good.

By looking at the many abuses that followers of the Divine inflict on others in the Name of God, I can see that may be a difficult argument to uphold.
But, I think it can.

Like I last wrote, now is not a time when we should be looking outward in order to see what Others are doing. We only do that in order to judge them. Don’t do that.
Instead, look within.
Let us see what is living within our own hearts.
Shine a light into the dark corners of our hearts to expose the beasties that may hide there.
Or, to show the emptiness that is there. Both are real possibilities.

This is a place to begin.
Self-reflection.
Self-criticism.

I don’t think that self-improvement is an option.
There are, however, options that we may take together.
At least, I hope so.
More about that later.

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Options

Recently there has been a lot of talk about things like “Systemic Racism” and “White Privilege.” Truthfully, I don’t think most folks know what these terms mean, or even care.
I’m not going to try and explain these. There are myriad others who have taken on that task to various degrees of success. Y’all are smart enough and can Google those terms and educate yourselves.

I’m not sure that those terms are even appropriate. They too conveniently separate things that are, I think, truly inseparable.
When we point our fingers at “This” or “That” and pontificate that “THIS IS THE PROBLEM!” we oversimplify and misname what is a very complex matrix of culture, mores, and most importantly, Identity.

What we call Systemic Racism isn’t something that can be fixed. It’s not a true System. Yes, there are many moving parts to racism. There’s overt racism like we see at Liberty University. There were also Jim Crow and Redlining. There’s over-policing in the neighborhoods that were established through unjust housing practices. Health care; education; social support. These and many other things make up what many are calling a “System.”

I think it’s much deeper than that.
I think it’s much wider than that.
I think it’s an issue that reaches to the core of who we are as human beings.
Racism; anti-LGBTQ+; anti-Women; anti-immigrant; anti-Islamic; anti-(you fill in the blank).
These are all part of the very soil from which our many cultures dig their roots into and receive sustenance. We suck up these nutrients and they flow through our cultures and spread out into the branches. They fill the fruit that is born on these branches and become part of the very fabric of the cultures themselves.
No, “system” doesn’t quite get the whole picture.
And, perhaps more concerning, “system” gives the false picture of an object that can be reworked into something that in fact does works.

If this is the case, then the so-called “Two Options” that people are talking about today are moot.
These options are:
1) Racism is a corrupt system embedded into the foundation of the U.S. Therefore, we must rework the system in order to root it out and create a more equitable system.
I think that I already showed that this a losing endeavor.
2) Racism is a hoax. If African Americans would only pull themselves up by their own bootstraps and accept their own personal responsibility to good citizenship then all of these troubles would take care of themselves.
To this I have only one thing to say…Bullshit.

There are some out there that are trying articulate “Third Options.”
I have to give them kudos for looking outside of the obvious.
These include:
1) Those in the majority taking time to listen to African Americans and to their concerns.
2) White Americans using whatever privilege they have in order to uplift and empower African Americans.

These and others sound virtuous. No! They really do!
In our minds we can visualize the problem and develop action plans to do something.
Then, while we’re doing something, we can pat ourselves on the backs and say, “Look at us! We’re Doing Something! Yippee! Yay! Yahoo!”

I think that you can tell that I don’t put much stock in any of that, either.

There is something else that no one seems to be talking about except a man named Mark Charles. Mark is an indigenous Navajo man who writes about racial “conciliation.” Not reconciliation since that word intimates that there was at one time a good relationship that has gone sour. Mark has noted that minorities, or any group that has been labeled as “Other” aren’t the only victims of racial inequality. Those in the majority cannot possibly perform the acts of oppression and violence they have and not be affected deeply themselves. In his thinking, not only do we need to work toward the healing of the oppressed, we must also try to help heal the oppressor as well.
Of course, oppressors are usually neither willing nor able to see their own illness.

All of this leads me to a place where I have to stop and contemplate. As I’ve alluded, there is more, much, much more, to the issue we face today, (and have faced, um, forever?), than the simple fact that racism is evil. Of course it is! But, so is xenophobia, and sexism, and hatred of LGBTQ+ people, and…and…and…

The issues that we face today are as old as the first humans. Perhaps, evolution has conditioned us to be wary of any person or group who we view as “Other.” A natural means of protection and self-preservation. If that is true, then we have a lot of work to do. Human nature doesn’t just change because we want it to.
We’ve tried this approach for aeons. Religion; myth; philosophy; self-help gurus. We’ve tried all of those and then some.

As I gaze about I do see some patterns, though.
Now, remember, I’m not a very smart man. There are many of you out there far better equipped than me. And, Lord knows that there have been many who have come before who have struggled with these very questions and come up empty.
No, I just offer a couple of observations.
Observations that may help us to see a tad more clearly through the haze of our inherited character and maybe see through to a viable Third Option. (Maybe 4th or 5th?)

I will write about some of these in another post.
Today it’s sufficient to simply begin to think.
Think about where each of us fits within our little corner of humanity. Self-reflect on where we’ve been, what has influenced us,
and, maybe, where we would like to see ourselves going.

I know that I am oversimplifying very complex social and cultural issues. But, most of us aren’t going to pursue Ph. D.’s in these studies. We just want to be able to live simply and peacefully with one another.
If you have ideas or concerns, please use the “Comments” to share them.s

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Good Friday

Today people who follow Jesus remember His death.
Arrested the night before and subjected to a sham trial, Jesus was turned over to the Roman authorities and charged with sedition.
The Romans accepted the charge and proceeded to mete out Roman justice.
Jesus was stripped, beaten, mocked, spit upon, and ultimately crucified.

Israel’s Messiah.

Crucified.

Scandalous!

Soon after these events, and Jesus’ subsequent resurrection and glorification, people needed to understand what had happened.
They thought and studied and prayed.
They discussed and reasoned and argued.

They were all certain that something significant had taken place.
But, were unsure of exactly what that was.

It wasn’t long before the early followers of Jesus saw in His death a parallel to an event that had taken place more than a millennium earlier. Jesus, they deduced, was God’s own Passover Lamb offered so that Sin and Death might no longer have a hold on the Creation. It was through Jesus’ own blood that God was proven faithful to the covenant that God made with Abraham. That covenant was that God, through Abraham’s lineage, would bless the whole Cosmos. God would, in effect, reverse the curse that had hung over humanity from the very beginning.

I know that I’m not giving the best or most concise view of what took place on that hill 2,000 years ago.
That’s mostly because I simply don’t understand it myself.

Why did Jesus need to die?

Was it because of MY sins?
Was it because of some personified thing called Sin?
The writer of Genesis stated that when God confronted Cain about his anger God told Cain that Sin was crouching outside his door. But, that Cain could overcome that.
If Cain could overcome Sin, then why did Jesus need to die?

If people who don’t know Jesus or Israel’s God can live upright and moral lives apart from God, why did Jesus need to die?

If Indigenous cultures contain no concept of Sin and live quite happily, why did Jesus need to die?

I know that common theological understandings say something like the blood of Jesus cleanses us. That it makes us whole. That, somehow, the blood makes peace between God and the Cosmos.

Ok. How?
Why was that necessary?
What actually took place?

The answers that I have heard don’t ring true to me.

Yeah, some folks say I ask too many questions.
I should just shut up and accept what people way smarter than I am have to say.

Uh, no. That’s never gonna happen.
I will continue to ask.
I will continue to seek.
I will continue to knock on the door.

Maybe, just maybe, one day a light will flash in my brain and I’ll finally get it.
Maybe not.

But, that’s ok.
Because whatever actually took place in the Cosmos on that day that we remember today, I will still follow Jesus.
I will…

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The Flesh Ain’t So Bad After All

Chains come in many shapes and sizes. When I think of chains that bind my mind conjures an image of Jacob Marley confronting his old partner Ebenezer Scrooge. I’m sure that you remember that. Marley trudges up the stairs of Scrooge’s house. We here the Thump of his footfalls. There is the sound of metal dragging and clunking up the wooden steps. Marley enters the room completely bound in iron links with locks and iron boxes attached along the length of the chain.

The purpose of this blog is to look at the chains that we willing allow ourselves to be caught up in, and to get out the keys and the bolt cutters so that we can be freed from this burden.

So, I ask questions.
Most of the time I have no answers to those questions.
Just asking may be enough to remove a link or five.

One thing that I’ve questioned over many years is, “What is the flesh”?
For those of us who have our spiritual roots in the World of Evangelicalism, the answer is pretty clear.
The flesh in the New Testament refers to the sinful nature of all humans as a result of Adam and Eve disobeying God.
It is something that we are born with.
It is something that must be overcome and defeated.

In short, it is an evil stain on our humanity that is wholly corrupt.

As a result, there is nothing that humans can possibly do that will please God.
Only through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ can we have any hope at all of putting our Flesh to death and becoming people pleasing to God.

Pretty cool, huh?

Now, there are some philosophical underpinnings to this idea. A thing called Neo-Platonism influenced theologians. In that philosophy the entire physical cosmos is corrupt. It doesn’t live up to some Ultimate Ideal that exists in some other reality.
(Don’t worry. I’m not gonna chase that rabbit.)

My question, though, is “Are they correct”?
Is the Flesh evil, or at least, contrary to God?

I want to say, No, it’s not.

In fact, I want to stand in direct opposition to that entire notion.

For those who want a pithy quote to hang on to,

“The Flesh Ain’t So Bad After All.”

What?!?!
I can hear all of my evangelical friends crying out, “Heretic! Fuel the Bonfire!”

Not so fast, my friends.
There may be more to this story than your leaders have figured out.

Perhaps the most important thing that I learned in seminary was that the Bible was NOT written to us. When those ancient people, living in ancient cultures, spoke and wrote those ancient words, they were not thinking, “Gee, I think I need to write something to those folks living in America 2,000 years from now.”
The trouble is, many people believe that they did.
They think that the words in Scripture can be cut from their original context and pasted into ours.
Wrong.
They can’t.

The current thoughts in evangelicalism about the language of “Flesh” is an example of that.

The Apostle Paul is the authority that most of these folks turn to. After all, he wrote more about the Flesh than any other New Testament writer.
They cite texts about how that works of the flesh produce death. The list of the so-called works of the flesh is given in a negative context to the so-called works of the spirit.
By the end of the day we are presented with a dichotomy or warring people parts.
Flesh Bad/Spirit Good!

The problem with this lies in our Western concept of humanity. The Ancient Greeks influenced not only our philosophy, but our theology as well.
They fired their best shot at understanding the relationship of Spirit and Flesh.
And, they missed the target entirely.

When Paul wrote about the flesh he was writing about one thing, and one thing only.
This skin tent that we all live in.

That’s it.
Period.

I don’t know about you. But, I don’t see anything moral or immoral about that.
It’s necessary for us.
Can’t live without it.
It holds our bones together and keeps our innards from spilling out on the floor.

So, why all the Bad Flesh language today?

The ancient Semitic view of a person was one in which we are all a complete and unified Soul. Body, spirit, the whole shebang is a singular and inseparable unit.

There is a difference between the parts. But, all are necessary for a person to be Whole.

I want to suggest that the difference lies, not in the Flesh alone, but in the appetites that we have and how we live with those.

I think that there is a sort of asceticism that Paul and the other writers encouraged. They seemed to desire that people learn how to discipline themselves, to control their appetites, in such a way that appetites did not control them.
In their view the flesh is not evil, but can get unruly. We can become enslaved to the instincts and desires of our physical body. These may then push us beyond our needs and into the realm of doing real harm to ourselves and others.

The early Church decided in their Councils that physical things are not evil. After all, God looked at creation and said that it was “Very Good.”
Jesus, the Son of God throughout all eternity, put on a “Tent of Flesh” and became human.
Just like you and me.

No, the whole idea that our flesh is somehow an evil that must be defeated is Wrong!
It is Deadly!
It needs to go away to the Pit where it belongs.

We are Human.
We are Worthy.

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But, What If?

Folks who know me understand that I have no qualms about asking questions.
Tough questions.
Of anyone.
For any reason.

Most of the time I ask questions in order to evoke reflection.
I’m not really challenging anyone.
I want them to think deeply about what they are saying or doing.
And, questions open up the possibility of discussions.
Discussion is always good.

Especially, for someone like me.

You see, many times I have no idea what I think about something until I actually say it out loud. (Or, write about it. Like now.)
So, in forming and stating questions I am more able to process the internal thoughts that roam free upon the ranges of my mind.

I take this same approach when I speak to, and about, God.
Hey! I heard that collective gasp out there!
“What?!? You question God?”

Sure. Why not?
Do you really think that God is afraid of my questions?
Perhaps I might catch God off guard with something?
One time I said to a pastor of the church I was attending that God is OK with our questions.
His response?
“Well, maybe. But, I wouldn’t push it.”

Push God?

How exactly does a person “Push God”?

Anyway, that said, I want to get to the real reason for this post.
(The mark of a true writer is to be able to write a whole bunch of words before making a point. It boosts word count.)

Most of you know that I’m currently dealing with colon cancer.
It’s like going to a party and receiving a White Elephant gift.
“Ok, now what am I supposed to do with this purple Bobbing Bird?”
Many people have expressed their concern and have said that they will keep me in their thoughts and prayers.
I appreciate this sentiment. It reveals our common concern for others. We’ve all suffered through one thing or another. So, we try to empathize with those who are currently suffering.
So, to all of you, a heartfelt, “Thank You”!

But, what if……

There are a lot of people out there who think that all they need to do is garner enough faith and pray. They think that God will then miraculously heal them.
If they follow the correct procedure, according to their unique reading of Holy Scripture, God is almost obligated to heal them.
“But, God said if I have faith like a mustard seed I can tell this mountain to throw itself into the sea! And, it will! Hallelujah!”
I don’t know about you, but I haven’t seen a lot of heavenly landscaping recently.
These same people have built million dollar industries on the fear of people.
Folks get sick. The diagnosis is dire.
Benny Hinn says, “God will heal you!” as he puts his hands on your head.
The emotions of the moment are overwhelming.
You find yourself being helped to the floor by attendants who work for the scamvangelist.
People in the room and around the world see this and happily reach into their undernourished bank accounts to send money so that “God’s work can continue.”

But, what if……

God doesn’t work that way?

But, what if……

God’s only real promise to us is that,
“I will never leave you nor forsake you”?

But, what if……

God never intended for us to avoid all of the stuff, good and bad, that makes us human?

But, what if……

God understands our suffering and sorrows and will walk with us as we move forward?

I know that some folks will take issue with these thoughts.
Some may even question my faith.

But, what if……

God is not afraid of the questions?

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Passionate About the Scriptures

I think that I wrote somewhere that I am really passionate about the Biblical text. Studying them rates as one of my all time favorite things to do. Part of why I find these ancient texts fascinating is the significance, for good or ill, that they have had on the cultures of the world. These words are not confined to one specific group of people or particular region. Unlike, say, the Hindu Vedas or Upanishads which are located pretty specifically in South Asia, the Christian Bible has influenced virtually every culture and people group on the planet.
That reason, alone, is enough to cause one to want to know more about it
Who wrote these texts?
To whom were they written?
When were the composed? Compiled? Redacted?
What’s so important about the words in these 66 books, poems, laws, narratives, stories, and myths?

Sadly, these questions, and the subsequent answers, are lost on a vast number of people who say that they reverence these texts. They truly seem to not know the questions to ask. Or, perhaps more concerning, they don’t want to hear the answers.
It’s far easier to let someone else do the hard work. They can then try to follow the path of those others and pretend that they are engaging The Word.
But, that’s a topic for another post.

The reason I’m writing this today is because of the study I had to prepare on this past week’s lections for the Baptism of Jesus.
We looked at Matthew’s take on Jesus trip to see his cousin, John, at the Jordan river. Jesus went there so that John could baptize him.
The story’s pretty straight forward.
John tells the people around him about the person who is coming after him who will baptize with fire. The Coming One is greater than John. In fact John said that he was not worthy to even untie the shoe of the Coming One.


Enter Jesus: stage left.

The two men talked a bit. Jesus indicated that he was there to be baptized.
John, who apparently recognized Jesus as the Coming One, balked at Jesus’ request
He told Jesus, “Whoa! No, no, no! I’m the one who should be baptized by You!”

Well, Jesus prevailed upon John so that John dunked Jesus in the Living Waters of the Jordan.
When John brought Jesus up from the water, the story says that the Heavens opened and the Spirit descended in the form of a dove and lighted on Jesus. A voice from heaven said, “Behold, this is my Son, the Beloved in whom I am well pleased.”

Now, at first blush this looks like a pretty simple story.
Right?

I’m not going to go into any detail here.
You really don’t want me to turn my inner geek loose on you.
It could get real ugly.
Or, at least pretty boring.

What I do want to point out here is that when we start to ask questions about this story, the answers aren’t quite so simple.

Here’s an example:
Why did Jesus need to be baptized by John?
Hmmm….
Did Jesus need to be cleansed from sin?
Most orthodox folks would freak out about even considering that!

As I studied this one question I found no less than 16 different possible answers.
All of them viable. All of them considered by skilled and knowledgeable scholars.
Yet, the answers were all over the place.

If one simple text, straight forward, no big issues with languages or other issues can elicit such wide variations in interpretations, how can we think that any of the other texts can be reduced to simple talking points?

The correct answer for those keeping score is,
They can’t.

That’s why it’s so important to dig and ask and dig some more.

These sacred texts have been used and abused for millennia because people refuse to ask the hard questions. Or, worse, they refuse to listen to all of the possible answers before resorting to actions that, unfortunately, have done much more harm than good in many places.

The other part of why I’m so passionate about the Scriptures is to find the treasures that are life affirming and graciously full of God’s Love that are there for the diligent to find. I hope to show myself diligent in this labor of love that I’ve undertaken.

I hope that I haven’t bored you too much.

But, hey, I’m not really sorry.

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Look! Oh, Breath of God!

Look!
The breakers pound the shoreline into submission,
Creating sand that a child forms into a castle,
Complete with ramparts and towers where archers
Fire their arrows and bolts at the advancing enemy.

Look!
The hungry person takes bread from the baker!
No money exchanged, the baker raises the alarm.
Stop! Thief!
The hungry person cast into chains and taken
From family, friends, life.

Look!
The rich person snaps fingers and servant scurries.
The rich person nods and gold moves from one rich person to another.
The rich person pays the officer who scatters the poor who hold hands out.
The rich person closes the curtains.
Cheers!

Look…
Ancient stories tell of the Breath of God
Hovering over the deep,
Settling above the chaos.
Order from disorder; life from emptiness.

Look…
See where the Comforter hides
For we cannot see this One anywhere.
Where is the Breath of God?
Chaos reigns in the depths of human hearts.

Look!
O Breath!
See the ruins!
Behold the smoke and fires burning!

When…
Will You calm the chaos that reigns?
Will You breathe new life into these bones of death?
Will You comfort?

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Monday Musing

Awakening, the dawn yet hours away.
Eyes closed, yet wide open as I search for You.
Ears alert to the sound of Your feet shuffling toward the veil.
Will You draw it back today?
Will I feel the warmth of Your Presence as You enter my world?

Only the slight sound of Wind against the windows.
Otherwise, silent.


Wait.
Patience.
Endure.
These are the creatures that inhabit the Cosmos!
I see them with my eyes and hear them with my ears
Every moment.
Every day.

When, my Friend?
Shall we walk together and speak of things long gone?
Perhaps, those yet to come.
Yes. That would be appropriate.
Where shall we go from here?

Here I am.

Walking in a cloud.

Unknowing.

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Introspection

I’m getting older.

Ok. That’s no surprise to anyone. We all are.

But, as I approach retirement sometime next year, I’ve spent considerable time in self-reflection. I search within to see if there actually has been any purpose to this life of mine.

I find little there.

Yeah, I followed the path that stretched before me. A path, by the way, that was mapped and defined by minds and wills other than my own. I have had my shares of humanity’s ubiquitous ‘Ups and Downs.’ Clearly, nothing out of the ordinary. I experienced many things that others have not. Some good; some not so much. Overall, my time walking this life has been functional, yet nondescript.

I have not had to struggle like so many in the world. Creature comforts have been available to me. I don’t need to walk 5 miles to a common well in order to have water to drink. There are several taps in my house that readily deliver that life sustaining liquid. Nor, am I required to sit and beg or dive into dumpsters for food. My local Mega Mart has everything that I could possibly want or need to satisfy the grumbling in my gut. Clothes, shelter, family…all of the things that seem to define the so-called American Dream have materialized before me.

So, what do I lack? For I must lack something.

In all of my travels and experiences I have never truly experienced happiness.

Maybe, happiness is simply overrated. I was told many years ago that as a Christ follower I should have something called ‘Joy.’ They said that happiness is nothing but a counterfeit version of Joy. We should not seek that at all.

But, when in every waking moment it feels like I have a Dementor from the world of Harry Potter sitting on my shoulder, well, something is amiss.

People I talk to about this don’t understand. They look at the stuff I have and the things that I’ve experienced and tell me that I should be glad.

Yet, the emptiness, the sadness remain.

“See a doctor and get some medication because what you describe sounds like simple depression that can easily be treated.”

Nope. Been there; done that. Medication doesn’t help. It only flattens my emotions until I feel nothing at all. Better to feel pain than everlasting numbness.

“Jesus is the answer to all of your problems.”

I’m sorry to say that’s simply not true. Contrary to what so many in the fundagelical world say, there is no God Shaped hole in us that only Jesus can fill. But, there does seem to be something that is missing. But, God isn’t it.

“Eat, drink, and be merry,” Qoheleth encourages. For what else is there for humanity to enjoy? Well, I can do one of those three things. Drinking is off the table because, well, I’m a recovering alcoholic and that wouldn’t be a good thing. Be merry? Well, that’s kind of the point of this post. Being merry eludes me.

Now, before anyone decides that I must be broken and that you are the one person in the world appointed to fix me.

Don’t. Please.

I’m not broken.

Sad? Yes.

Lonely? Ok.

Unsatisfied? Definitely.

But, this is how I feel. And, yes, feelings matter.

I have no intention of throwing in the towel and surrendering to despair. I also have no intention of lying to myself about my own reality.

Yeah, I’m getting older. But, as Dylan Thomas wrote,

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

I intend to follow his lead.

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It’s Not Always Light

God? You there? It’s just me again. I was wondering if, maybe, we could chat a bit?

You know that this year, 2018, is just about spent. Soon 2019 will be kick starting. Hopefully, it’ll start without too much of a backfire. A great belch that would be appropriate, I guess, with the parties and such happening.

But, what’s there to look forward to? I mean, it looks pretty much the same as the old year. Right?

“Same as it ever was; same as it ever was.”

Didn’t that writer, Qoheleth, write something like that way back in the B(efore) C(herrios)? There is nothing new under the sun. All is vanity.

“Same as it ever was.”

Is that really how it is, though?

People say that something new actually did happen once. (In a dream? In a parallel universe?) A Child was born who grew up to change the world. What was his name again? Oh, yeah, Jesus son of Joseph. Things weren’t the same as they ever were.

But, did it mean anything, God? Say true now, did that man child’s life really change anything? Anything at all? Actually, from here it sometimes looks as though he had never been born. People are the same as they ever were.

Greed; Fear; Hatred.

These have raged on unabated. Nothing has hindered them in the least!

They linger like Smog over LA in the 70s stinging eyes and burning lungs. Hearts fail.

How Long, O Lord? How Long?

Still, there are places where a cool wind flows over the landscape like clear water flows over the rocks in the bed of a mountain stream. Like pinpricks of light in the heavens these tiny swirls of Spirit’s Breath stir the smog and reveal small patches of green where seeds that were hidden in the soft loam strive upward. The sudden warmth of the Sun racing through the break in the smog touches the fragile life within the seedling urging it heavenward. The green stem reaching, hoping to bloom and blossom. Fresh, new scents fill the void left by the dispersing stench of the smog.

Fresh.

Live giving.

But, God? There are too few of these places. Greed, Fear, and Hatred overwhelm them before the fragrance of these precious blossoms can work their healing magic. The weight of them is far too great for the Lightness of the Breath!

We need more than a simple exhalation of Breath. A Hurricane! A Mighty, Rushing Wind that can displace and destroy those powers. Rain to wash the soot and stench away forever!

God replied, “But, you are the Breath.”

I’m sorry, God. That’s no help. I don’t see any hope in that. Where is the plus side?

“Same as it ever was.”

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