I know that I’m a little late to the party. I’m old. Give me a break.
Last week Episcopal Bishop of Washington, D.C., the Rt. Reverend Mariann Edgar Budde spoke at the National Cathedral. It was a special service for an interfaith service that was part of the transition of power. I didn’t watch it. Nor, anything pertaining to the inauguration. Just not interested. I did, however, hear the rumblings after the event. So many on social media, as well as the once well-regarded legacy media, were talking about this woman preacher who challenged Mr. Trump. I finally got to see the short sound-bite taken from the end of the sermon. Yeah, it was a gutsy move. But, I wanted to see the entire sermon in order to hear the context. For anyone who knows me, I am all about context, context, context. So, I sat down and watched it. I was truly impressed by the courage of this person. Yeah, she was preaching to a hostile audience. Yeah, she was concise and pointed in her remarks. Above all, though, she actually fulfilled her vocation. All followers are charged with speaking truth to power. Our leaders are especially responsible for this. However, it has been sorely missing from our pulpits. Those who follow Messiah Jesus have simply been sitting on our thumbs while our name and reputation have been hijacked by a militantly nationalist group of “believers.” I use quotation marks for that because the only thing they really believe in is their own lusts and desires. But, that’s a post for another time.
Bishop Budde did the right thing. Period. She spoke up for those with no voice. She proclaimed the Gospel of Love that Jesus spoke. She did it with fear and quaking. But, she did it.
I am proud to be an Episcopalian. Not just because of Bishop Budde’s remarks. But, because she has represented well what the Episcopal Church is becoming. It’s not where is should be by any stretch. Our history is rather sordid when it comes to our relationship with the halls of power. But, it seems that it is trying to live its repentance in real life. That’s a reason to be proud.
I’m sharing the full video of Bishop Budde’s sermon for those who want to see it in its entirety.
A quick note: The sermon should not simply be seen as a cheap political shot. Bishop Budde’s words are important for all of us to hear. None of us are blameless. All are guilty. So, don’t say or think that this was just for MAGA or Trump. These are word that we all should heed.
Before I even get started I want to apologize for the condition of my previous essay. I was angry and emotional. I didn’t take time to proofread. So, the result was far below my own standards.
Sorry.
I’m still not doing great. Since I wrote that last piece another young person died. Another life cut short. It just keeps happening. Over and over and over and……..
I’m not a philosopher. Nor a true theologian. I’m just a guy whose wife tells him that he thinks too much and makes things difficult. Ok, mea culpa. That doesn’t change reality. People still suffer and people still die needlessly. If I was a theologian, (I’m not), I would probably try to explain things logically. After all, we want to have meaning in life and, especially, in death. So, I might take the road most traveled and try my hand at what is called “theodicy.” I mentioned that in the last post. In its simplest form a theodicy tries to find answers to this problem:
P1: If God is perfectly good, He must want to abolish evil.
P2: If He is unlimitedly powerful He must be able to abolish evil.
P3: But, evil exists
P4: God is either not perfectly good or He is not unlimitedly powerful.[1]
This problem has been present ever since people decided that they needed to defend God from any kind of limits or evil. Because, you know, God needs us to defend Him. This question has been asked by those who deny that God either exists or, if God does exists He is not worthy of our veneration, let alone our worship. And, I have to agree with them. If this is the argument that we must use, the criteria necessary for faith, then they are quite correct. God is not good. In fact, God may even be evil. Or, God only exists in our imaginations.
I don’t accept that.
I do think that God is all Good. That God is, in essence, all Powerful. I also know that evil exists.
I don’t think that those theologians and philosophers, however, are asking the right questions. I’m not sure that they are starting with the correct information to form their opinions. I’m quite sure that logic won’t do the job necessary to explain why two young people have recently died.
Let me begin by stating my own starting point. Most of the folks who engage in the thought problem as I so briefly stated it begin with a literal interpretation of the Bible. They use the text as their source. So, things like the creation story or the flood story in Genesis become points that they use for their argument.
I don’t. Mostly because I don’t read the Bible as literal history. It was never intended for that. When people ask the text to hold up their arguments, they are asking it to take on too heavy a load. A load for which it was never intended to bear. What I think about the text is a matter for another time.
What I do think is that when creatures evolved to the point of self-awareness, they also became aware of God. I think at that time God was able to begin to establish relationships with these creatures. (I use “creatures” because I’m not convinced that Homo Sapiens was the only species to achieve self-awareness.) As humanity evolved to be the dominate species, God continued to relate to them. In ways that I don’t know, God began to make Godself known to the nascent humans.
One of the realities that came with humanity was something I refer to as “the human condition.” The Biblical writers tried to describe this, I believe, in their writings about creation and the so-called Fall. The God that was becoming known to them was benevolent and loving. Yet, they too had to reconcile a world where sickness and war and anxiety were ever present. They imagined stories of a paradisaical world when everything was good. To explain their own reality, they believed that humanity was at the center of the change from paradise to a hostile world where humans had to work hard for food and sustenance. The “Real” world. Anyway, I think that this human condition is why there is suffering and death in the world. It’s not some external thing that entered the world. It IS the world. I agree with many secularists in that the universe is not a nice place. It’s always trying to kill us. That is the nature of things. Deal with it.
If this is the starting point, then what of the questions about God’s place in all of this. First, if the creation story is just that, a story, then the earth is about 4 billion years old and the universe is over 13 billion years old. And, more importantly, God did not create evil. In fact, evil in this sense is simply the way things are. Neither good nor evil. Just reality. So, when folks start asking the question, Why does God allow evil? I reply, “What evil.” What is it that they think God is allowing? If the Human Condition simply is the reality of things, how can we label it evil? To do that they need to define “good” as opposed to reality. I don’t know about you, but that hurts my brain. I can’t do the mental gymnastics needed to set reality against some human definitions of good and evil.
I know. I’m rambling like a crazy person. Maybe I am. That, too, is reality. But, I wanted to begin to draw an alternative picture. A picture in which the world is the way it is because, well, it’s the way it is. Humanity, too, is simply the place where the “Human Condition” exists. Good? Evil? I don’t know. Like I wrote above, I’m not sure that those descriptors are even valid. They are simply human constructs used to describe the world.
I promise that I’m going somewhere with all of this. It may take a few more posts to work it all out. Sometimes I don’t know what I think until I get it out. I’m thinking while I’m writing.
I look forward to hearing some of your thoughts. Lord knows I’m not all that smart. And, I surely don’t have any inkling of what the actual reality of the world is. I only see my small corner. For better or worse, I’m sharing that.
[1] John Hick, Evil and the God of Love (Norfolk, England: Lowe and Brydone, 1975), p.5.
I’m getting too old for this shit. I really am. I’ve seen too much needless death in my life. Recently, I heard about a young woman who took her own life. Another person, family, destroyed. How long? How long must we sit by and watch hopeless people suffer in silence; loneliness? Is no one taking notice? Yeah, there are people and organizations dedicated to helping people who reach out to them. That’s a wonderful thing for people to give themselves to. Trying to give hope to the hopeless. And, the discussions that have begun over the last few years about mental health are good. It’s sad that it seems that a mass shooting is the only way that these concerns are raised. But, it’s too little. The issue is way larger than what individual people and organizations can cope. The issue isn’t just in the U.S. It’s global. From Gaza to Ukraine to China to Guatemala, people suffer and die. Needlessly. What can we do? Isn’t there a way to fix this? If God exists, why don’t we see some kind of Divine Intervention? That’s a thing called Theodicy. I might write about that some time. Or, not. So, why this particular person? This particular death? Why am I so triggered by this single event? Honestly, I don’t know. Lord knows that I’ve not been affected by other suicides. Not even those I’ve known personally. Why? Part of the reason, I think, is frustration. We try to communicate that things aren’t as bad as they may seem in this moment. Some simplistic thinkers like to say that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. These people don’t know what they’re talking about. They’ve never stepped to the brink. I have. It’s far more than a temporary solution. It seems to be the ONLY solution. For those who wonder about where’s God? I believe to this day that it had not been for divine intervention you all wouldn’t be reading my nonsense today. Again, maybe a story for another time. Maybe, not. I’ve had the great gift of studying the Christian Bible. I’ve found that there’s a lot more to it than what any televangelist or priest or pastor or others think. I won’t bore you with details. Yet. For now, let’s just say that I see in these ancient texts people who lived lives in this world. Lives just like us. They had desires and needs. Just like us. They loved and were loved. Just like us. They worried about the same things that worry us. And, they searched for answers. Just. Like. Us. We all desire answers to life’s problems. Don ‘t we? If you say you don’t, I want what you’re drinking. We read in the various news outlets and hear from the talking heads who presume to be experts in whatever field they live in. We try to explain a problem in such a way that we may try to find solutions. We want to fix what’s we perceive as broken. What if we’re wrong? What if life isn’t a problem to solved? Something that we can dissemble in order to find a common root? A broken gear tooth that can be fixed simply with a new gear? Isn’t that how we all pursue life? One day; one problem at a time. Funny how that never really works? We plug one leak, another pops up in the line. Always. I’m not writing this to sound all doom and gloom. Trying to paint a hopeless future. I’m not. My study of Scripture and my faith have given me, well, a little glimmer of hope. A glimmer that not everyone will see even if I draw a picture. This, too, is part of the reality of life. I spent most of the summer studying what’s called the “Sermon on the Mount.” The sermon can be found in chapters 5, 6, & 7 in the Gospel According to Matthew. Because of its position and length is the Gospel, it would appear that it’s kind of important. It contains such memorable things like the Golden Rule and the Lord’s Prayer. At least, you’d think so. But, as I’ve studied and meditated and discussed the Sermon, it’s become painfully obvious that it is also one of the most misunderstood texts in the Bible. You see, so many, (most? All?), who read it see it as a compilation of “Jesus sayings” and other material that Matthew, or someone, cobbled together to form what we read today. Their arguments are academically sound. Well, some are. The result is that when people read the Sermon today, when they preach and teach it, they break it into nice little bite sized pieces. Then they develop doctrines and dogma and interpretations based on the tiny pieces they’ve bitten off. In fact, this is how the Scriptures are handled and presented in general. So, when we read the Sermon we learn about the Poor in Spirit and the ones who Mourn or Hunger after Righteousness. We get to hear a person tout all of the properties of salt and light. They will teach us all we need to know about divorce and remarriage. Or, murder and hate. Or, worrying about what we’ll eat or wear. What we never, or at least, very rarely hear is anything about why Jesus would say all of these thing together in the first place. Why He called His discipled up a hill in order to deliver to them these many things that have to do with life in this world. I’m not gonna say anymore right now. I’m still angry. But, my anger is not directed at the usual suspects. It’s directed toward me. It’s directed at the “big C” Church. All of that I hope to unpack as I contemplate this more. As God sees fit to let me see. As I’m able to actually see it.
Well, it’s day 2 of 2025. I would’ve written yesterday, but I had to work. Yeah, I’m back in the workforce. Actually, I started back in April of last year. I spent about 5 months working in the nursery at Petitti’s Garden Center. It was interesting and mindless work. Watering trees and shrubs, stocking new inventory, and dealing with overly privileged people with too much money on their hands. As I was seasonal help, my season ended just before Labor Day. In early October I began a stint at Giant Eagle in the bakery. I’m technically a “clerk.” That means that I slice the bread and package the other baked goods that the bakers bake. I deal with customers who want this or that which the bakers and decorators make. And, I get to clean up the messes that the aforementioned bakers, et al., make. It keeps me busy and provides added funds for things like books and music gear. So, all that to say that I’m at the bottom of the totem pole at GE. So, I got to work all day yesterday. Yippee. This year I’ll probably keep working at something or other. Presumably, at GE, as there are only so many places where a feeble, old fart like me can work. Plus, I have no desire to do anything that could be considered “career track.” Been there; done that. One thing that I am pursuing, though, I began in October. That is, I began the discernment process for entering into the Episcopal priesthood. Yeah, I know. “What the hell are you thinking, Helbert?!” Maybe I’m not thinking. Maybe just going with my gut on this. Ordained work has long been lurking in the dark recesses of my mind. I began consideration of that while yet in high school. I was all set to go to Malone College, (now Malone University), to pursue an undergrad that would prepare me for seminary. Well, as they say, “life happened” and that path was closed. However, the desire for that type of work never really left me alone. That’s why, in 2006, I began seminary at Ashland Theological Seminary. After 5 years of balancing work, family, and grad school I graduated in 2011 with a Master of Divinity. That pretty much made me a deep thinking person in debt. I have had the opportunity to teach some Bible stuff and occasionally stand in the pulpit and pretend to preach. That old desire for ordination kept sticking its nose up, though. So, I finally decided to check it out. The next couple of years will determine if this is truly something that I should pursue. That’s why they call it ‘discernment.’ So, we’ll see. I’d like to say that I have 2025 all planned out. That Hope and I have set certain goals to work toward. Yeah, no. We haven’t. We kinda roll with what’s given us. Maybe take a trip here or there. Maybe do some home renovation. Maybe just sit and complain about all of the things that we’re not doing. We’ve really gotten pretty good at that. I do hope to escape 2025 alive and well. The older I get, the more that becomes a matter of speculation. Such is the way of things. For better or not, the calendar won’t stop flipping pages. At least, I’m fairly sure of that. I will continue to drop notes in this here blog thingy from time to time. Heck, I’m paying for this domain. I may as well us it. Much of what appears here will likely be mundane stuff. Like this post, for instance. Others will probably take a closer look at our shared “Human Condition” in this time in which we live. I hope to take deeper dives into faith and the Church and the Scripture. Since those things have occupied much of my life up to now. I’ve been reluctant to write stuff that I think may be “too religious.” I know that folks reading my rant and mad railings don’t share my beliefs. I worry about offending some and losing some followers. But, I’m pushing 70 and I’m finding more and more that I really don’t have too many “fucks” to give. So, be forewarned. Anyway, that’s about all I have to say. My wife wants me to go look at fabric and sewing machines. Ah, the life of the retired. But, not quite.
