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Author: mhelbert

People…Commodities to be Sold? Or, God’s Image Bearers.

Slavery. What images are evoked by this word? In the U.S., I’m sure that most people think of the Antebellum South in the late 18th century through 1860. Although African people had been stolen from their homeland and shipped to this country from the early 17th century, this later period saw the greatest increase in slave trafficking. Advances in technology, most notably the cotton gin, produced a huge demand for labor in the fields. Those in the dominant culture sought whatever means that were available to produce more in order to make more profit. This included buying more slaves.

With the end of the Civil War in the U.S., many people thought that slavery had mercifully come to an end. After all, didn’t President Lincoln issue a proclamation that freed every slave? Apparently, slavery has survived. It seems that not even the federal government can effectively stop people from exploiting others for their own financial gain.

I’m one of those people who have been blissfully ignorant of human trafficking here and around the world. It was not until I was in seminary a few years ago that someone brought this to my attention. A student from Argentina began to talk about it in class. She had a passion to make modern slavery known and to fight to end it. I found out at that time that Ohio ranks near the top of a list of states in human trafficking activity. As I found more reports and stories, I realized that this is a huge problem today. I was outraged and overwhelmed. Yet, I did nothing. Yeah, I applauded the few victories that I heard about. But, I have not joined in the fight. Maybe I’m afraid. More likely, I’m just lazy.

In the last few years there have been more stories about modern slavery. One report from China told how many men had been freed from slave labor at a brick kiln. Another, just yesterday, reported on the sex slave industry operating at truck stops in Ohio. Jamie Wright, a person who blogs about the exploitation of people, wrote two posts this week about a recent trip she and her husband went on to Southeast Asia. They went with an organization called “The Exodus Road” that investigates the sex slave industry and partners with local governments and law enforcement to free the slaves and bring the slavers to justice. Jamie’s posts are linked here and here.

I have been reflecting on all of this. To be sure, I feel paralyzed at the magnitude of the problem. What can I do? What can any of us do?

Awareness. This is the first step. We can become aware that in this country, this state, and maybe in this community there are people who are being exploited in order to keep someone’s wallet fat. We can educate ourselves to know what to look for that would indicate that a person is a victim. We can join with others who are already fighting against this heinous crime.

There is another thing, however. In order for traffickers and those who support them to exploit their victims they necessarily must dehumanize them. They must see these poor, marginalized people as commodities to be traded and sold. The pimps and the johns who buy from them see only dollars, not real human people. The farmers, fishermen and other industrialists who use these people as human resources to gain profit see only necessary machinery that is needed to achieve their financial ends. Even in legitimate businesses employees are considered human resources. Just another piece of the business plan along with electrical and mechanical resources. Employees are not real people. They can be moved around and dismissed at the whim of the business owners in order to accommodate their economic ends. Even in the church we consider others as sinners…commodities that need to be acquired and assimilated. Ours is a mindset that looks at people as less than God’s image bearers and sees them as disgusting and dirty and ‘less than’ us. Of course, we would never word it like that. But, that is the attitude that flows from many pulpits.

In truth, I don’t see this problem ever being finally extinguished. At least not in this age. But, we can learn to see people as real human beings, not property or ‘resources.’ There is a passage from the Christian bible about a rich man who came to Jesus and asked what he had to do to inherit eternal life. Jesus proceeded to tell him what he must do to live in the realm of God. You see, I think the rich person asked the wrong question. He asked about eternal life. He should have asked, “What must I do to live in the realm of God here and now.” We, too, should ask ourselves that question. Perhaps that answer will allow us to see the goodness and worth of each and every man, woman and child. Perhaps then we can begin to live with and love one another in God’s Good Creation as God desires us to.

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Behold, Lord, Your Servant

There has been a lingering question among Christ followers ever since the earliest days after Jesus rose to sit at the Father’s right hand. That question has driven people to take some rather bizarre actions. Jesus told his followers that, in some unexplained way, he would always be present with them. “Abide in me, and I in you,” Jesus told them. In another place he said, “As you are going on your way, make disciples of all nations, baptize them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Teach them to observe the things that I have commanded you; and look! I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” The question is a simple one…“How”?

This question is difficult to answer. Well, actually, there are probably as many answers as there are people asking. Some of them better than others. I have read many ‘How to…’ books and articles. They pore over the Scriptures and try to glean whatever tips they can. The Psalms are a favorite field from which they harvest seeds that sprout into various methods and procedures. A few years ago someone ripped a process out of context and made a lot of money on something called The Prayer of Jabez. There seems to be no lack of people who try to distill some easy, painless way to touch the heart of God. But, in my experience, our Western ‘have it my way…right now!’ mentality will not work.

There were people in the early years of this era who also searched for God. Some of these were called Anchorites and hermits. Men and women would go into the wilderness in order to separate themselves from the distractions of society. The wilderness served as a metaphor for the realm of the devil. This idea came from Jesus’ experience after his baptism. He was taken to the desert where he was tempted. Anchorites desired to follow his example. They spent hours each day in prayer and contemplation. Many reported receiving ‘consolation’ or a special grace from God during these times. God was present with them.

Throughout Church history there have been people who have experienced God’s special presence. These ‘mystics’ practiced many different ways of prayer. In the 16th century St. John of the Cross and Teresa of Ávila offered their lives to God through prayer and service. They worked to establish a lay order called the Discalced Carmelites. (Discalced meaning ‘without shoes.’) Prayer and contemplation were their food and drink. Later, another monk named Brother Lawrence learned how to live in the presence of God through diligent practice. He spent his days serving his order in the kitchen. Nothing glamorous. But, he continually brought his thoughts and mind to dwell on God. These are but three examples of people who sought for God’s presence and found God to be a gracious friend.

As I have studied the lives of people like these, I have found that there is no simple method. There is no ‘Users’ Manual’ that provides step-by-step instructions with exploded diagrams and footnotes. I began my own journey in the inward life by realizing that being present with God was the first step. I took 3 words in Hebrew to describe this: hineni Adonai avedka. “Behold, Lord, Your servant.” These three words were the first ones out of my mouth each day as I prayed. They became a declaration to myself and to God that I was present. I worked hard to focus my heart and mind on being present. It is a discipline that takes time to learn and more time to practice. Please note the words ‘worked hard’ and ‘discipline.’ Evan as the days became weeks, then months, and I began to notice the task becoming more and more a natural part of my day, I had to work at it. After awhile, I realized that God had been providing the necessary grace for me to even begin. What had seemed like my own idea and practice was actually God fulfilling the words that Jesus had spoken to his disciples. Jesus was ‘with’ me. He was present. Maybe, he was just waiting for me to join him.

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Symbols and Metaphor…Paths to the True Destination

For those of you who have followed my blog for any length of time, you’ll know that one of my favorite bloggers of all time if Jennifer D. Crumpton. Today I read her most recent post. In it she looks at a new book by Reza Aslan, entitled Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth. He considers what the writers and original readers of the gospels would have understood about the truth of their stories. His is not a new take on this topic by any stretch. It is focused on people who say they have faith, they’re just not religious. Of special interest in Jennifer’s post is a video of an interview she did with Aslan. Both the blog and the video are a bit lengthy. So, if I had to choose, I’d watch the video. Pay special attention to the historic and literary context that Aslan identifies for the writing of the Gospel texts. A link to this particular post is here.

What do you think of the position taken regarding Scripture? Is it possible that fiction can bear truth?

 

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Atheists are People…First

A couple of days ago I read a blog post by Fred Clark. I follow his blog, Slacktivist, and find much of what he writes compelling. This particular post was a rant about how many fundamentalist Christians confuse winning an apologetic debate with knowing actual truth. For those who are interested, the post is here. (Note: there are some pretty cool card tricks in this post, too.) Fred cited two blog posts for his inspiration. Both of these were testimonies of people who had been brought up in fairly strict Christian homes. They were both taught propositional truth about what the Bible “says.” And, they both walked away from the Church and have embraced atheism. Fred challenges those who think they know what God’s will is for everyone, in all places and at all times. He shows that winning the apologetic argument does not mean the same thing as knowing the truth. People that get these things confused raise children who grow up like Libby Anne and Rachael.

I read both posts. (Libby Anne’s is here. Rachael’s is here.) I shared them both on Facebook because I thought they might get some interesting responses from my friends. I was right. The responses, though, troubled me. You see, unlike Fred, I did not see these two people as evidence of how the fundamentalist right misrepresents Christ in American culture. I saw them as victims. These are two very intelligent young women who were injured by those who should have protected and nurtured them. I can relate to this, because I was part of that same culture. I have seen the fruit of this kind of one sided, us-against-them mentality that both of these people experienced. I thank God that my wife and I did not embrace the “Christian” school or home school paradigms. We allowed our children to be exposed to the culture that they would ultimately need to navigate as adults. However, in our zeal to promote evangelical orthodoxy I think we missed opportunities to embrace and train our children to live openly and honestly as Christ followers in the wider culture.

The responses I received on Facebook were indicative of the mindset that I’ve seen in the conservative evangelical culture. One person responded that Rachael had simply not had a true conversion experience. She would, one day, realize the error of her ways and the Holy Spirit would fix her. Ok, to him this woman is defective and in need of ‘fixing.’ This person, who I know and love like a brother, thinks that the environment in which the woman was raised was good. It gave her a solid foundation on which God the Holy Spirit can one day build. Maybe, maybe not. From the story she told, I learned that she is a person with fairly good critical thinking skills. She took the information that she had been taught at home and considered it in the light of knowledge she gained outside of the home. She found that her parents had been mistaken on many levels. Trust was damaged. Her worldview crumbled. She rebuilt herself in, what she feels, is a better way.

Another response I received stated that since the blog was an atheist one, of course atheists are going to read and respond to it. There wouldn’t be any contrasting view. Well, Christians will go to Christian sites. Conservatives and liberals will visit their own sites. It’s what we do. People tend to hang out with others who hold similar beliefs and interests. As we do, we reinforce our own beliefs against those of others. I think we can develop a kind of intellectual in-breeding. After time, defects can enter into our thinking and morph and mutate until we actually believe that ours is the only way to know truth. That’s one of the reasons I try to branch out into uncharted areas. Yeah, I’ll find a lot of junk, but I will also mine rich nuggets that I would not have found otherwise.

All of the responses I received contained a tone of dismissal. Not of me, so much. But, certainly of these women. Their stories were simply not taken seriously. Either they were a problem to be solved, or their particular worldview was not worth the time to listen to. To these I say “Shame!” Where is our empathy? Where is our affirmation of them as human beings cast in the image of God? I commented on Rachael’s story how I felt that my respondents just did not “seem to get that people are more important than propositions. Relationships are more important than religion.” Not only had those who responded to me, but the parents of these women and other leaders missed that point. Jesus was not like this. Jesus looked at people compassionately. Jesus was empathetic. Jesus embraced others as daughters and sons of God. If we truly desire to see the reign of God break out in this world, we must begin to see others through the eyes of Jesus. We must maintain a ‘human’ perspective rather than a proposition-based perspective.

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Why Should We Even Care About Forgiveness?

A few days ago I wrote about forgiveness. I have continued to reflect on this. And, like so many other things, the more I consider it I realize how much I neither know about it nor practice it. I have read about it. I have thought about it. I’ve spent hours praying about it. Why does it seem so elusive? Why is it so hard for one person to offer forgiveness to another? Why do we even care?

A lot of years ago I was in a band. Ok, so I’ve been involved with a lot of bands over the years. But, this one in particular was my baby. I had always been a sideman following someone else’s lead. Not so with this one. I worked hard at it. I had great guys playing with me. And, we sounded pretty good, if I do say so myself. After several months I was approached by one of the guys and another person who was kind of an associate with us. They had decided that they were going to leave and put together a project of their own…sans me. I pretty much saw this as a coup. I was devastated. I had poured myself into this band and these guys were dismissing my work and ripping my heart out. Immediate anger, hurt and a desire to reciprocate. I decided to shun them. (Oh, wow, that’ll show ‘em.) It didn’t take long for me to realize that they were doing quite well while I was steeped in anger and bitterness. Hmmm…this payback stuff wasn’t working so well. I shared all of this with a friend and we found that at the root of what I was experiencing was unforgiveness. Oh, Crap! I couldn’t even blame those other guys for what I was feeling! Eventually, I arranged a sit-down with them and we talked and I was able to forgive them. Freedom! The bitterness began to melt away. Over time, we were again able to work together and today one of them is one of my closest friends.

This episode in my life revealed to me that relationships that are meaningful and important are the ones that can cause the most pain. I really don’t care about mere acquaintances. These people can say and do things to me that don’t affect me. I can simply ignore them and they’ll go away. Truly meaningful relationships, on the other hand, have an element of trust built into them that can easily be bruised. Trust defines our vulnerability. It determines how much of our heart we will expose to another person. Deeper trust means that we will bleed more profusely if that trust is violated.

In my reflection, I’ve discovered that I am one of those people who can be hurt easily. Part of that is because I really, really don’t tolerate rejection well. (And I want to be a writer? Sheesh!) The larger reason, though, is that although I try to keep a façade in place to protect me, (one dear friend said that I should wear a sign that says, “Hides Behind Humor”!), I do let people affect me. I want to trust. I want to be trusted. While I hold on to my desire to trust others, I, myself, am wholly untrustworthy. I know that, because there are times when I allow a thoughtless word to escape from my mouth that crushes someone I love. I am untrustworthy because I do things that seem good to me, but are deeply hurtful breaches of trust for others. And, I lie. I say that I trust others, when deep inside I really don’t. Maybe, this self-revelation will help me to understand my need for forgiveness and my need to forgive others.

So, why should we care about forgiveness? Throughout the Hebrew Bible God’s followers wrote about the forgiveness of God. The Psalms and Prophets are full of examples of God’s character as One who is patient and quick to forgive. (e.g. Ps. 65:3 & 86:5, Jer. 31:34.) But, it took God’s actions to prove it. It’s recorded that Jesus prayed for those who had beaten and crucified him. “Father, forgive them…” And, the Father did. The Good Creation and all of humanity were freed that day. Freed from the anger of God and from the chains that bound creation with bitterness and unforgiveness. We were set free from the old ‘eye for eye, tooth for tooth’ system of retribution. We were set free to forgive. It doesn’t matter whether we are wronged through the careless uttering of a single word in a meeting, or one of the greatest breaches of trust. We have the freedom to choose to forgive.

 

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Thanks a lot,Plato!

A few days ago I was reflecting on something that happened many years ago. At that time I worked as a sound tech for a Christian band. The band was pretty good and we played fairly regularly in our region of the country. There was always plenty of energy and I made sure that no one had any trouble hearing it. (Oh, yeah…play loud!) Before every show I had to take time to make the sound fit the house. I would use a pink noise generator and ‘pink’ the room to set the system equalization. Then, because pink noise generators are stupid and can’t hear, I would play various songs from CDs I carried in order to get the EQ just right. I chose music that had a wide dynamic range so that I could make the necessary adjustments across the frequency spectrum. I did not choose the songs for their content. My ears didn’t care about content, they cared about frequencies. One time before a show, one of the guys told me that I should use “Christian” music for that. After all, we were supposed to be a “Christian” band and someone might be offended by Chick Corea. This posed a dilemma for me. Would I do my job with the tools I was familiar with…that would give me known results? Or, should I follow the suggestion of my friend?

This is a small example of something that has been troubling me for years. What is the so-called secular/spiritual dualism that we seem to accept without question? Where did it originate? Is God behind it?

These questions cannot be completely answered in a blog post. But, perhaps I can throw some wood on the fire in order to cast some light on our considerations.

As I understand things, the Semitic worldview that spawned the Jewish and Christian scriptures, and into which Jesus was born, was not a dualistic worldview. For them, creation was a single whole. God had created it for the enjoyment of all of God’s creatures and it was good. God was One unity. There were no other true Gods, and God was not divided. The most important part of a Jewish prayer service is called the Shema. It begins, “Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one!” To suggest that God could be divided would have been blasphemy to them. Humanity, likewise, was considered a unified whole. In the beginning of their story, God formed a human from the “dust of the ground” and breathed life into it, causing it to become a “living soul.” No division…a singular living being. So, how did we wind up with so much division, and factions, today?

I think that the root of this can be traced to the ancient Greeks, particularly Plato. Plato was perhaps the greatest thinker of his age. Living from 429–347 B.C.E., his influence has transcended the centuries. One of his chief tenets was that what we see and understand here, in the visible universe, is not true reality. When we see a tree, it is a somewhat defective representation of a ‘real’ tree that exists in some perfect realm. This idea is especially important when we consider more abstract concepts like ‘goodness’ and ‘beauty.’ Things that we consider good and beautiful derive these characteristics from the truly Good and Beautiful. What’s important to see here is that the so-called ‘ultimate’ object that we cannot see is perfect and superior to the derivative and defective ‘penultimate’ object that is visible and understandable to us. Ok, enough philosophy 101…my head hurts.

The early Christian church grew out of Judaism, to be sure. But, its development was deeply embedded in the Greco-Roman worldview of that time. Its roots grew deeply into the rich soil of the northern Mediterranean region where Greek culture and philosophy fertilized the tender shoot. It was inevitable that Platonic thought would influence the Church’s development.

“Ok, Helbert…so what? What does all of that have to do with playing Chick Corea?” I’m glad that you asked! Platonism, or more accurately, neo-Platonism is the life-blood that courses through the whole of Western thought and culture. We have learned to quantify and qualify our entire universe. We have the ability to mentally compartmentalize every facet of our lives. All thanks to our friend Plato. What interests us here is that Plato provided a qualitative aspect to our existence that, I don’t believe, actually exists. His premise seems to rest on the fact that the ‘ultimate’ is good; the penultimate is defective. For us, that translates into that which is spiritual/godly is good; that which is earthly/fleshly is bad. We can then make judgments between the spiritual and secular that are, at best, distorted.

In the beginning God formed a unified whole. Yes, there were many parts. But, there are many parts to any single system, be it a human being or a butterfly. For those who want to keep the spiritual and the secular separate, just remember that there is only One Who is good. That One is Yahweh. Everything else is created. And, Yahweh declared that it is all good.

Mine is only one opinion. What do you think?

 

 

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Forgiveness…For You and Me

Forgiveness. That’s a strange word in today’s culture. I don’t think many of us really know what that word means. I’m sure we don’t understand the power that lies embedded within it. Someone hurts us and apologizes, “I’m sorry.” Our usual response is “That’s OK, no worries.” Is that offering forgiveness for the wrong? Or, is it simply a gloss that social convention has decided can amicably fix things? I think the latter is closer to the heart of things. And, I think it falls woefully short. Any discussion about relationships must necessarily take a trip through forgiveness.

There’s a story about a woman who was unfaithful to her husband. Apparently, she was caught doing the nasty with the other man. I don’t know who caught her. Maybe it was her husband. Maybe, it was a nosy neighbor. In any case, she was taken to the local assembly where she was accused of breaking their law. This all male council decided to use her as a test case for an upstart young teacher. “Let’s see what the hotshot new guy has to say.” So, they gathered her up in the best angry mob style they could muster and hurried her off to stand before the ‘judge.’

When they arrived, they pushed the woman to the front and brought their accusations. “This woman was caught in the act of adultery. Our law states that she must be put to death. What do you say?” The young man took this all very seriously. He stooped down and began to doodle in the dirt. The mob, growing impatient, continued to press for an answer. Finally, he stood and faced them. I think that he may have looked a tad exasperated with this group of men. “Ok…if there is anyone, anyone at all among you who has never fallen short. Who has never wronged another person. Who has never made a bad decision. Who has never…sinned. Let that person throw the first stone.” He then went back to his doodling. The story tells us that one by one, from the eldest to the youngest, each walked away. Finally, there was only the woman and the young teacher. The man stood and looked around. “Where’d everyone go? Isn’t there anyone left to accuse you?” “No sir,” she replied. “No one.” The young man responded to her, “Then neither do I. Go, now, and don’t do this thing anymore.”

The word ‘forgive’ is nowhere in this story. Some folks may even say that forgiveness isn’t even the main point. But, I see this brief account filled to overflowing with mercy and forgiveness. This woman had indeed broken the law. There were witnesses. She had incurred a debt that required her life to repay. The mob was ready to exact payment. I can’t even begin to imagine what was going through that woman’s mind. Panic? Anxiety? Remorse? I’m sure those and much more. “What would this young teacher say? After all, he is a man! Will he join these others to condemn me?”

The teacher’s response must have been puzzling to her as well as her accusers. Didn’t he know how grave this situation was? His nonchalant attitude was troubling. But, then he stood. He raised his voice so all could hear. And, in so many words, declared everyone guilty. Yet, he passed no judgment against them. He allowed their own consciences to do that. After the accuser left, he rose and again looked into the woman’s eyes. With compassion in his eyes and his voice, he spoke and refused to make her to pay her debt.

The language of the Bible allows us to understand forgiveness as setting aside or dismissing a debt. That’s why the Pater Noster in Matthew is translated “Forgive our debts even as we have forgiven the debts of others.” In this story Jesus, the young teacher, dismissed the woman’s debt. She was no longer liable for it. We are not told anything else about this person or those who accused her. Did she go home to her husband? Did he take her back? What of that mob? We simply don’t know. That’s what makes this a great story. We are allowed to imagine all the many possibilities and outcomes. One thing that I’m pretty sure of, that woman, who had been forgiven much, most likely had her heart enlarged and learned to love much. I can see her telling her friends at the well how that young teacher had poured out compassion on her. She, now, would be able to pour out compassion on others. That, I think, is the point of forgiveness. It frees the one forgiven to forgive others…including themselves.

How have you experience forgiveness from others? From God? From your own self?

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Let’s Walk Together

With your indulgence, I’m going to continue writing about these messy things called relationships. I’ve already written about how I’m pretty good at screwing them up. Yeah, I don’t play well with the other children. Also, there is the fear that leads to shame. I want to play with you….No, I don’t….Yes, I do….No, I don’t, (cue Dr. Doolittle, the animal whisperer).

Today, I’d like to walk awhile with woundedness and broken trust. I think that these two things are not only closely related, but may be at the root of broken relationships.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve got a low threshold for being unaccepted. Actually, if someone looks at me the wrong way my brain sees that and interprets it as a personal attack. I remember a man that I used to meet with fairly regularly. We’d talk about life and family and relationships. He used to like giving me advice on these things. (Meddle is a better word.) One time he told me that he could tell when he had gotten too close and I was about to close down. He could see it on my face. (Funny how our thoughts, those quiet little neuron firings deep in the recesses of our mind, can sneak out and play with us physically.) He was right, of course. As far as I was concerned the topic was now out of play. A foul had been committed and I was walking off the field.

Many of us use speech to figure out what we think and believe. By that I mean, we process our thoughts out loud. This can be a dangerous practice for those of us who are easily hurt. Several years ago I was reflecting on some matter of religion. I don’t remember what that was exactly. I was speaking with another person, trying to make sense of the topic in my own mind. Soon the other person said, “I get really offended when you talk like that.” Uh, What? That person had just established an ‘unsafe zone.’ This was now a place where I could not be open and share my thoughts or feelings. Here I am, bleeding again.

The results of these interactions were small, but significant, wounds. These were no longer ‘safe places’ for me. Safety is necessary for trust to grow. If we perceive that a person is no longer providing a safe environment, trust cannot exist.

I wrote a couple of days ago that God desires humans to live with others and the Good Creation in community. Maybe, then, God has also built into the system a way to maintain our relationships.

I have been fortunate in the last year and a half to have hooked up with a Spiritual Director. This is a person who is not a counselor, but someone who ‘walks alongside’ me on this journey with God. One of the tools that he has brought with us on the path we share is something developed by Ignatius of Loyola in the mid-sixteenth century. Ignatius developed “Spiritual Exercises” that have been used through the years to assist people to experience a closer relationship with the Divine. A recent lesson has opened a discussion on woundedness. This particular lesson discussed the wounds that Jesus received at the hands of the Roman soldiers who crucified him. Of special interest to me was the observation that Jesus’ wounds were still visible after he returned to the land of the living. The writer of the lesson shared, “Jesus rose with his wounds still in his hands and feet and side. His wounds do not humiliate him but give God a chance to show the divine power. So can yours.” (Italics mine.) Ok, how? Wouldn’t it have been a better show if Jesus had received a ‘glorified’ body that was strong and without mark or blemish? No, I don’t think so. Here’s why. The lesson continued, “Jesus kept his wounds in his risen body as a means of consoling his friends. Whenever one Christian lovingly lets another know his or her woundedness, the Holy Spirit consoles them both.” In experiencing woundedness, God, through Jesus, was enabled to identify with God’s Good Creation in a way that had not been possible before. In a way, Creator shared in our suffering. I believe that, because of this, we, too, are empowered by God to share the suffering of one another. Does that mean all of my hurts and mistrusts are miraculously transformed into some kind of cosmic Neosporin? No. There are still walls that have deep pilings holding them in place. It does, however, allow me to understand that you…the one who hurt me…are also wounded. We share that part of the human condition. Together, maybe…I’m not sure, vulnerability can grow between us and we can begin to build that community of the walking wounded that God shares with us.

What do you think? Is it possible to live together as damaged people, sharing our woundedness?

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On Keeping the Gates Closed

I was going to write more about relationships today. But, something else has been knocking on the inside of head trying to get out. So, I’m going to get back to the messiness of living with other, ugh, people some other time.

Every morning I take time to read something from the story of Jesus. I find this story intriguing. Not so much for what the writers state that Jesus said, but for their depictions of what he did. This is not to take away from reading the red, as some say. Whether Jesus actually spoke the words attributed to him or not is not as important as the fact that the early church ascribed those words to him. They are completely consonant with their view of Jesus’ actions.

This morning I read from Matthew’s take on Jesus. The part of the story that I read was the account of Jesus as he stood before a roomful of men who were desperately trying to find a reason to execute him. The particular text states, “Those who had arrested Jesus took him to Caiaphas the high priest, where the teachers of the law and the elders had assembled” (Mat. 26:57). I stopped to imagine that scene. Jesus’ hands were bound as he stood in the midst of a group of very angry men. These men were the leaders of the Jewish culture. They were the educated ones, the intelligentsia, and the gatekeepers. These were the men who decided what was orthodox and what was heresy. What I found striking in this scene was who was not present. There were none of the people that Jesus spent his time with. Where were his friends? Where were the people who were healed or fed? Could someone please bring in the character witnesses?!

Jesus self-stated mission, or purpose, was stated in Luke’s version of the story. He wrote that Jesus’ raison d’être was to give good news to the poor, proclaim release for those who were bound, let the blind see, free those who were oppressed and to proclaim that the time of God’s favor had arrived. If one reads the stories, paying close attention to the things Jesus did, it becomes clear that he fulfilled that mission. Jesus hung out with the outcasts and marginalized. He enjoyed having dinner and partying with lepers and women. He played with children and put up with 12 slow learners. And, ultimately, the gatekeepers couldn’t tolerate this kind of subversive behavior.

Jesus didn’t play by the rules that the leaders made. Please note that. “The rules that the leaders made.” That made him a threat to their world. A threat so serious that they had to conspire to kill him. Now, what’s key to this is that these leaders thought that their rules were God’s rules. They read their holy book as a users’ manual or rule book that had to be adhered to or God would get really ticked and maybe kick them out of their homes and take away their religious liberty. What they did was considered the only appropriate response to Jesus’ brand of unorthodoxy.

I have observed a similar mindset in many of the so-called ‘gatekeepers’ today. Men like Al Mohler, John Piper and Owen Strachan have set themselves up as experts in the law. They, like those who stood around Jesus that night, perceive Jesus as a threat. Of course, they would never say that. But, they really do. They read their holy book as a users’ manual or rule book that must be followed to the letter or God may get really ticked and punish everyone.

I’m sorry, (well, not really), but they are mistaken. If we are to take Jesus’ birth, life, death, burial, resurrection and ascension seriously we must take Jesus’ mission seriously, also. That mission was directed to the people that the gatekeepers’ rules excluded. Jesus reinterpreted their sacred story to include everyone, especially it seems, the outcasts and marginalized. We should be willing to do the same.

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Shame on Me

Relationships are difficult for me. To begin with, most of the time I’m far more comfortable with books than with people. Books can transport me to other worlds; other eras. They do not have unrealistic expectations of me. Nor, do I of them. We can be friends. People, on the other hand, always have some expectations. They have their own agendas that may or may not be in the best interests of anyone else. These relationships are messy. I don’t like messes. I’m not comfortable sharing my space with others. Over the years I’ve constructed thick barriers around myself in order to protect me from the mess, the hurt and unwanted intrusions that invariably force their way into my life.

Yet, God seems to desire that we humans live within a community. At the very beginning of God’s self-revealing are the words, “It’s not good for humans to be alone.” I find that even in my solitude, my self-willed ‘aloneness,’ there is a place in my heart that desires companionship. Honestly, I try to fight that. I’ve fought hard. There are very few people that I let into my life, my heart, even a little. And, no one with whom I’m totally available to or vulnerable with. But, why? I know some people who seem to have no problems being open with others. They are the ones who can make friends easily. They are the ones who can talk openly about themselves. In some ways I envy them.

I haven’t always been this conflicted. I wrote a little about that here. There was a time when I was a happy kid who trusted people. I enjoyed being with friends playing at the rocky beach of Lake Erie near my home. We built forts in the woods and rode bikes. We raced HO gauge cars and built model airplanes. In those days, I would have never been caught with a book in my hands. I had to be outside with my pals.

As I reflect on this perceived paradox, both desiring solitude and companionship, there is one thing that continues to surface. As time moved forward I began to notice that sometimes the things I said and did hurt others. I found that my tongue was a useful weapon. Without thinking I would unsheathe it and cut someone deeply. And, I felt shame. Shame…that is the one thing that I keep coming back to. One definition of that word is stated as “a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety.” Yeah, I can see that as a ‘catch all’ definition. Whether real or perceived, some word or action causes one to feel guilty. The shame gene kicks in and gives shame the emotional impetus to rise to the top of our consciousness. As Pink Floyd sang, “Another brick in the wall.”

Another definition that I found, however, I think gets closer to the issue. I read this quote on another blog recently. It comes from a book that I’ve not read yet. The author, Brené Brown, wrote in her book Daring Greatly, that shame can be viewed as the “fear of disconnection — it’s the fear that something we’ve done or failed to do, an ideal that we’ve not lived up to, or a goal that we’ve not accomplished makes us unworthy of connection.” Fear? I thought we were talking about shame! I think that Brown has captured something profound. We hide our guilt. The shame emotion drives us to do that. We certainly don’t want anyone else on the planet to know what kinds of nasties are living in our hearts. And, we don’t want our dirty laundry hung up for everyone and anyone to see and judge our uncleanness. So, the fear of losing relationships or the connectedness that God built into humanity causes the shame that covers our guilt. But, shame also builds walls. The very fear of losing our place in the community becomes the thing that breaks community. No wonder I’m such a basket case! I feel like Dr. Doolittle’s pushmi-pullyu.pushmipullyu

What to do? Actually, I’m not sure. That’s something that I continue to consider. There are some who would say that I just need to have faith and God will set things right. Besides being an overly simplistic approach, I’ve tried it. It doesn’t help. Others may suggest that confession is good for the soul. Yeah, but confession may also break community. Perhaps, practicing vulnerability. After all, shame tends to make one take great pains to keep from being vulnerable. We’ll look at this later.

What do you think? Are there any folks out there who can relate to these things? Or, am I the only person who has these issues? Please leave a comment and let’s think through this together.

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