Category: Family

Thanksgiving: Some Thoughts

Published by mhelbert on November 27, 2019

Yesterday I shared a bit about the stress and anxiety that I experience during the holiday season. Like I said, I try to take steps to mitigate those things. I try to get necessary rest, take vitamins and other meds, use a Happy Light, and try to focus my thoughts and energy on things that may redeem this season and create a positive from the negative.

I have to admit, Advent and Christmas are much easier for me to grasp the redemption stories. They are all about Christ and the preparation for us to receive Him.

Thanksgiving, however, poses a bit of a conundrum.

After all, the holiday seems to be an homage to gluttony and self-serving individualism.
A far cry from the ideal that we say we celebrate.
And, I think we may be hard pressed to find too many Native Americans who are thankful that their land and cultures were invaded and destroyed as a result of that first meal.

What, then, can we take from this particular holiday that brings life and blessing for everyone.

Let’s take a look at what we consider the first celebration with the Wampanoag and the Puritans. Maybe there are a couple take aways that can help make this holiday more meaningful.

One of the first things that jumps out at me is the contrast of how that feast was celebrated.
Today, we usually gather with our own family. When I was growing up that included the extended family on my Mom’s side. We usually had about 20 or so. That is, until we kids grew up and started adding to the count with kids of our own.
The point, though, was that we were isolated in our own, comfortable familial cocoon.
Contrast that to how our forebears celebrated.
Theirs was a community feast where everyone gathered to celebrate a successful harvest. They shared whatever they had with the everyone in both the Puritan community and the Native American community.
Theirs reached beyond the doors of their houses and touched the lives of everyone.
Each brought to the table what they had. There were most likely the Three Sisters of Maize, Squash, and Beans. The hunters supplied meat. Those who plied the waters brought fish.

The point is, it was a communal celebration, not a private one.
Perhaps we may find something redemptive in that kind of sharing.

The were welcoming of the “Other.”
This may be the biggest redemptive act of the entire holiday.
As I was looking for something to help me wrap my head around this holiday, I got out my Book of Common Prayer and read the prayer for Thanksgiving.
Part of that prayer is,

” Make us, we pray, faithful stewards of your great bounty, for the provision of our necessities and the relief of all who are in need, to the glory of your Name.”

Notice that the prayer asks God to make us Faithful Stewards in order to provide for our own needs as well as those of All Who Are In Need.
The Native Americans did that very thing.
For reasons of their own, they chose to help these “Others” who had sailed across the sea and landed in their backyard. The Native Americans were Faithful Stewards of Creator’s bounty.
Note that the reason for this stewardship and sharing is to bring Glory to the Name of God.

Perhaps we, too, can not only be mindful of our stewardship of the resources we have been graced with, but can find ways to welcome and support those people who are looked upon as “Other” in our culture.

Maybe, just maybe, this holiday has some merit besides over-eating and falling asleep with a football game on the tube. Perhaps there is hope that God’s Good Grace may use this day for God’s Glory and our continued metamorphosis into the Image of God in Christ.

Just a Reflection

Published by mhelbert on October 7, 2019

I promised myself that I was going to take time this weekend to reflect; to write.
Oh, well, maybe next week.

A little over a week ago I was at a memorial for one of my aunts. She walked on last February after a long life ‘being Joan.’
At the memorial I had the privilege of sharing a prayer. That gave me opportunity to think about Joan, (Pronounced: Jo-ANN), and how she influenced me. I promised myself that I wouldn’t get all verklempt and teary-eyed. Of course, that didn’t work out very well.
During the time we were all gathered, remembering, cousins catching up, grandkids wandering around, I stood and watched. The wife of one of my cousins came up and said, “You’re just taking all of this in, aren’t you?”
Yeah, I guess that I was.
We never gather as family anymore. Unless, it’s to bury someone.

If you’ve ever had the pleasure of taking apart a golf ball, then you may understand a little of how I felt.
A golf ball, at least they used to be, was nothing but a loooonnnnggg rubber band wound tightly around some core. This is then covered with a tough rubber coating with dimples. Dimples? Really? They couldn’t come up with a better description?
Anyway, after the cover is removed you can begin to pull off bits of rubber band. Eventually, you get to a point where the band begins to unravel itself. All of that pent-up potential energy lets go and the ball takes on a life of its own. It’s driven to unravel until the hidden core is revealed.
That’s kind of how I felt.
Emotional tension. Potential energy awaiting release. Tight. Ready to explode with all of my emotional guts unraveling on the floor.

I’ve been waiting, now, for more than a week to try and decompress. To somehow release that energy in some kind of constructive way.
Some kind of, maybe, life-giving way.
But, like so many other things, life sometimes just gets in the way.

All that to say, I am still waiting to pull on that last piece of the rubber band. To release the tension that is built up in my gut.

But, not today.

Perhaps I’ll think about it tomorrow. Because as Scarlette O’Hara said,
“After all, tomorrow is another day!”

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Family

Published by mhelbert on October 1, 2019

On Saturday we went to a small town in North Central Ohio. We went there in order to celebrate the life of one my aunts who passed late last winter. It seems that the only time we all get together anymore is when someone ‘walks on.’

I hope to share some of my reflections on this gathering later this week. Today, however, I want to touch on just one point of being “Family.”

We wanted our side of the family to all be present for this. It would be good for everyone to touch base. However, my son had to work. So, we picked up his wife and our grandson and headed southwest.

This would be the first time our grandson had met most of these folks. We’re not exactly active when it comes to keeping up.

As we were driving, he became a bit impatient because it takes about an hour and a half to get to the place. And, he’s not used to sitting still in a car for that long. Plus, I think he may have been just a tad nervous about what was going to happen.

We drove past old, rusted hulks of cars and farm equipment, falling down barns, and acre after acre of soy bean and oats ripening in the Autumn sun. After a while his Mother asked if he would like to live out here.
“No,” he replied, “there’s nothing to do.”
Yep, the response you’d expect from a 9 yr. old from the city.

When we arrived the room was filling up with a lot of people. My Aunt and Uncle’s family is well-known in this tiny burg out in the middle of nowhere.

We greeted everyone and began to rekindle long smoldering relationships and introducing our grandson. Soon, he was sitting quietly with his mother playing something on his phone.

Now, I was a bit concerned that he would become bored and restless and start getting antsy. But, he remained calm for the duration of the celebration.

After, we all went to one of my cousin’s home to continue catching up. My cousin’s home is on a small lake where he keeps a boat. Some of the other kids were down by the water fishing and hanging out. So, I asked him if he’d like to go down and have look.

We walked down to the dock where the boat was tied up. He got aboard and steadied himself on the gently rolling deck. He got to watch some of the kids reel in a few fish. He helped them keep track of their bait and, pretty much, observe. This was a completely new experience for him.

Soon, my cousin decided to take some of the kids out on the boat so they could do some tubing. My wife went and took our grandson with her. They watched as all of the kids took their turn being dragged across the surface of the water, bouncing and swerving over the wake. Soon, all of the kids had a turn except for our grandson. He has no experience being in the water like that. When the other kids started to say that it was his turn, my wife said that he looked like a deer caught in headlights. My cousin noticed and said, “It’s ok. Maybe next time.” They returned to shore.

Soon after I noticed him out in the large yard playing games with some of the other kids. Pretty amazing how kids just sort of ‘get it’ when it comes to playing together.

When it was finally time to leave, we said our goodbyes and started the trip home. It had been a long day for all of us and we were quite ready to get home to rest.

As we were driving he said, “I never knew that I had so much family.”
Yeah, that’s pretty much it.

Family.

His mother asked him again if he would like to live out there.

“Yes,” was all he said.

The Nativity – Revisited

Published by mhelbert on December 20, 2018

Today I’m going to repost my take on Jesus’ birth at Bethlehem. As anyone who has read me knows, I do not hold to the whole “Away In A Manger” story. That story really has nothing at all to do with 1st Century Palestinian life. I believe that this story is a better representation of that. Plus, this opens us to a greater understanding of who Jesus was and our part in His family.

The caravan moved slowly up toward Jerusalem. It had been a long journey from Galilee through Samaria. We could not travel very fast because of the young, pregnant woman. Most of the caravan stopped in Jerusalem. We, however, had a few more miles to go to get to our ancestral home of Bethlehem.

We entered the town and located the home of Joseph’s cousin. Entering, we greeted those already gathered. “Shalom! Baruch hashem Adonai!” “Peace! Bless the name of the Lord!” Unpacking our donkeys, we noticed that there were a lot of people already present. It seems that the whole clan had answered Caesar’s demand that we return for this census. Joseph helped Mary up to the living quarters while I got fodder for the donkeys. As I turned to climb the stairs I saw Joseph gesturing angrily.

“No guest room?! My wife is going to give birth at any moment! You must make room for her and the child!”

“No, we cannot. There are too many people. We cannot have one room given to her alone.”

“Wait,” one of Joseph’s aunts said. “We can fix a place for her down below. There is plenty of fresh straw. And, we can put blankets down to help make her more comfortable.”

Mary, being young and new to the family looked at Joseph and nodded. She was already suspect, being pregnant already. She did not want to give the family any more reason to look down on her.

Evening came. Mary was having contractions every few minutes. One of the aunts acted as midwife. They made Mary as comfortable as possible.

Joseph was upstairs with the rest of the family. He was pacing the floor. One cousin scolded him, “Sit down and relax! Everything will be fine. This is not the first child ever born!”

But, everyone knew that many first pregnancies did not end well. Especially, when the mother was as young as Mary. In addition, both Joseph and Mary were anxious about the child. That strange man that had appeared nine months ago had said some very strange things about this child. As the birth drew near, the young parents wondered what kind of creature was about to enter their world.

It seemed as though Mary had been laboring for hours. With a final push the child arrived. With a cry, the child took his first breath. The midwife lifted the child and tied off the umbilicus.

“It’s a boy!”

Joseph gave a sigh of relief. The others began to pour bowls of wine and a party celebrating the birth of a first-born son began. They sang and danced and drank. When Mary was cleaned up and the child wrapped in clean cloths, Joseph was summoned to come down. He looked compassionately at Mary. She was so strong and brave…no longer a child. Joseph reached into the feeding trough in which his newborn son had been laid. He picked him up.

“My son, Yeshua!”

A little later I looked up and saw a small group of people entering the house. By the staves that they were carrying I could tell that they were shepherds.

“Who let this rabble in?” I thought. Shepherds were not usually welcome among respectable people. They walked over to where the child lay sleeping.

“We were out in the field tending the sheep. Suddenly, there was a great light in the sky! We feared that something was going to take our sheep and harm us! Then, we heard a voice saying that a child had been born…here…in Bethlehem. The voice said that this child is the Messiah who we have been waiting for!”

Another shepherd spoke up saying, “Then there was a great host praising God! They gave God glory and said that peace was to reign between God and those whom God favors!”

We poured bowls of wine for the shepherds and continued to celebrate throughout the night.

However, Mary had a puzzled look on her face. She said nothing.!

May God Bless you all and Merry Christmas