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Category: fear

Apocalypse: What I See

Published by mhelbert on June 24, 2025

I just watched Oppenheimer for the first time. To be honest, I was underwhelmed. I mean the story was OK. And the acting really good. But, at the end I was left kinda, ‘meh.’

One thing that did touch my mind and heart was a line at the beginning. Oppenheimer was watching water drop into a pool. In his mind he saw flashes of light. The images switched between his pensive face and the special effects. Then, there was a voice over that said something like, ‘I see things that other people don’t.’ Not like the kid in ‘The Sixth Sense’ way of seeing. Oppenheimer didn’t see dead people. No, he saw the hidden world of quantum physics. The stuff of science fiction and horror stories. And, as we all know, it wasn’t fiction…it was truly horror.

The reason I write this is not to vent my anger at nuclear weaponry or the threat of mutual, global annihilation. That may be the topic of some future post. Not today, though. No, I want to write that I, too, see things that most other people don’t see. I’m sure that we all share to some degree certain insights into how life works. The liquidity of time; the touch of a butterfly’s wing. What I see is slightly different.

Over the years I’ve shared bits and pieces of my life within the religious world. From conservative Evangelicalism through the desert of nothingness to where I am today. I’m labeled Episcopalian. That’s just a label. Kinda like I root for Manchester City in real football. I root for the openness and inclusion that the Episcopal Church waters and cultivates so that the divine seed may bud and flower with the beauty of God’s love. That’s all good. However, it doesn’t reveal the reality of things. True Church is the embodiment of Messiah Jesus in the world. It doesn’t necessarily explain the world. It does offer tools with which to explore it.

I’m truly a contemplative. You can google that if you want. Check out the examples that you find. Even the wiki thing may prove helpful. That is if you’re interested. To me, I see the reality behind the curtain. In biblical studies that’s called ‘Apocalypse.’ To reveal.

Right now we live in a chaotic world. It’s not just a U.S. thing. It’s global. Lot’s of folks are on edge. Even a friend who is a spiritual stalwart shared that she’s afraid.

I see John the Seer’s many-headed beast coming up out of the sea. In that story the beast was Rome. In mine, it is the many-headed beast of the systems that run rampant over the earth. It demands to be bowed to and worshiped. Those who refuse are devoured by the fearsome maw on one of its heads. And we fear. Our fear is our felt reality. We don’t know who will be the next victim of its seeming unlimited power. A power given it by the Great Dragon who exists from the beginning of time. A beast in its own right that controls this beast. Yet, it doesn’t care about the beast. In its great anger simply wants to destroy. The beast is simply a means to that end.

I look behind the curtain and see that which few see. There I see a great light. A prism of colors streaming from it. There are myriad creatures that sing with a great voice. The voices are like the roaring of the sea, yet like the whisper of the summer breeze. They all sing in their own voice, yet they are in close harmony. They sing the praise of the One Who sits in the light. The One Who is the source of the light.

I see also thousands upon millions of people. They stand with heads bowed and beat the breasts crying out, “How long? How long must those upon the face of the earth suffer under the feet of the Dragon and its beast?”

I hear a voice. A quiet voice. As John wrote, a voice “of a lamb which was slain.” I contemplate on that. What lamb? Why a lamb? The voice tells me that this lamb is the One Who was slain by the first beast that was Rome. By His death and His blood He redeemed from death all who were under the foot of the beast.

The beast that I see is not Rome. Nor is it any particular government. I wrote that this beast is the world systems represented by its many heads. From its many mouths it speaks lies and creates fear. A deadly, paralyzing fear. For the Dragon knows that those who live in fear are already his. “Fear is the mind killer,” the Bene Gesserit say. It’s far more than that. Fear is the soul killer. It is the life-ender. It is the prison where the worshipers of the beast are held captive.

John’s vision tells readers that the Lamb and the white-robed army wage a great war against the beast and its followers. We call this war Armageddon. John saw the heavens opened and One on a white horse ride out to meet the armies of the beast. The armies of heaven were arrayed in white linen. They, too, rode white horses. The armies clashed and there was great bloodshed. The beast and the Dragon were thrown into a lake of fire. The ungodly, unholy reign of the Dragon and its minions was ended.

In my sight, I see things differently. There are no white horses and riders. No armies form up to wage bloody battle. No, I still see the Lamb enthroned at the right hand of the Father. He gazes at the Father and says, “Abba! These are all in bondage to the beast and the Dragon. Let my blood be for theirs!” And, it was so.

The beast, embodied in the systems of this world, was destroyed. The beast and its Dungeon Master the Dragon, were chained and thrown into the abyss where they were imprisoned forever. Humanity was redeemed and released!

Behind the curtain God; Father, Son, and Holy Spirit waged war. And they won.

This is done. It’s finished. Nothing more can be added to what God has already done!

What, then, is this that we experience in our real world day after day? In my vision it’s the time before the last battle of the Lamb. The battle where the weapons are the sword of His mouth; His Word. Apocalypse is timeless. Meaning that what we see is assured, yet perhaps not yet known. This is the key.

I wrote all of this because of fear. We live in an unsettling time. Chaos reigns. Wars are waged and injustice flourishes like stinging nettles in the garden. Hope seems to be gone from our lives. My vision, however, is one of hope. Nothing that we experience now is cause for fear and anxiety. The Lamb has won! The power of the Dragon has been broken! We are able to stand up and have hope that what we see and experience can, and WILL, end. Does this mean we should sit on our collective arses and complacently wait? For what? The systems to simply implode and disappear? While I don’t see the blood-soaked scene that John saw, I also don’t see the followers of the Lamb sitting idly by. They take the same sword of the Lamb and stand against the systems of hate and greed and power and lust and war. With it they, we, are empowered to stand and seize the victory that the Lamb has won.

Don’t fear! Stand up and rejoice! The other John, John the Elder, wrote, “there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.”

Those with ears to hear, listen.

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What in the World?! Politics!

Published by mhelbert on April 30, 2025 
Politics. That thing that we’ve been told should never be discussed at Thanksgiving. That tool of governance used to dig up and till the soil of the electorate in order for this or that political whatever to plant its seeds of thought. Then, hoping that a constituent plant will grow and bear fruit.
According to the politicians, politics is what makes the world go round. They want everyone to believe that; to believe them.
And, we do! We place our faith and trust in whatever politics makes us feel good about ourselves. Whatever position allows us to feel safe and secure. So, we put up banners and lawn signs. We go to rallies and town halls to support what we think is good and right and proper for us and for everyone else. Then, after a time, we realize that those we support can’t come through on what they promised. Disillusionment. So, we modify our expectations and seek other people and policies that we can support.
And, the circle goes round and round and round and……..
As a follower of Christ I have a rather complicated relationship with politics. I’ve heard many say that if we truly believe and accept what’s written in the Bible we must be apolitical. After all Jesus never talked about politics. In fact, He stayed out of the politics of His day. He never railed against the Romans. He was not a vocal opponent about how the Jewish people should be governed. Yeah, He took issue with the abuses that the religious leaders poured on people. But, actual governance? No. He told His disciples that while they may live in this world, they were not part of it. The world in which they lived was a heavenly world where stuff about food and clothing were not to be worried about. Didn’t God provide for the birds of the air and the lilies of the field? Such a vision of utopia! A world without cares and worries! That’s what many think that Jesus was talking about.
But…….
That’s not our reality, is it? Nope. We live in a world where politics force us to act. Where we have responsibilities to do whatever we can to keep ourselves and our families safe and secure. We all gotta join the fray to keep our heads above water. Most of all, we gotta try to make sense of the chaos that our leaders create every day. I am pointing directly at the situation that we live in right now. Washington is nuts. There are so many voices coming from there that it’s hard to discern one from the other. The cacophony rising from the halls of political power is deafening. It hurts my ears. There is little sense being made by those we entrust with our well-being. While that discord and confusion seems unique, it’s not. Every political group and government has stirred up its own version of suspicion and mistrust. EVERY SINGLE ONE!!! Yeah, we do live in a tumultuous time. I talk with a lot of folks who live in fear of what tomorrow may bring. Will our rights completely disappear into fascist totalitarianism? Will our 401(k) survive the confusion? What about those of us who receive Social Security? Not to mention book bans and cultural genocide! “There’s too much!”, they say as tears flow and folks find themselves shaking in fear.
I wrestle with how to respond to the fear and anger that so many of my friends and fellow Christians feel. There seems to be no bridging the chasm between what the world demand and what Jesus seems to say. Trees have been felled in order to make the paper that folks and scholars use to argued about politics and the Church. To what end? (Spoiler alert : none. None at all.) Yet we keep jabbering on about how this view is right; that view is not. In fact, that view is likely sinful and dangerous. What view is that? Doesn’t matter. Whatever view is different from whomever is speaking. Amiright?
So, how do we respond? As leaders in the church we must respond. I recently read that a leader’s job in these chaotic times is to attempt to try and help people live and flourish where living and flourishing seem distant and impossible. So, what response can we make? There are a couple of ways, I think. Not everyone can accept them. I, myself, have a hard time wrapping my head around how to respond. But, one thing that I know with certainty, God’s world is not a world of confusion and discord. God’s world is where peace is reality. The question is, how in God’s Name do we get there? If we do, somehow, find our way, how should we live in such a place?
Please understand that I’m not one of those religious folks who advocate separation from real life. You know, those who move to the wilderness to escape the corruption that they say plagues our nation and our world. Nor am I one of the new monastics who, while living in the world, choose to cloister themselves and develop their own ways. They go to “christian” stores and theaters and schools. Their desire is not to be counter-culture, but to build a separate culture that builds barriers against the ‘forces of evil’ that rule the outside world. These are real reactions that many use to deal with, and insulate themselves from, the chaos and uncertainty of today’s world. In some ways I can’t fault them. However, this lifestyle is not the lifestyle that I see in the Scriptures nor in the Fathers nor in the Church.
If I was asked my opinion on such things I’d have to start with the fact that everything in Scripture was written by and to real people in the real world. Folks trying to get by on what they knew about life and God. Then, I would have to tell anyone who was bored enough to listen that God, Godself, did not just sit by twiddling His thumbs watching corruption and death have their way. God never said, “Oh well, that’s none of my business. Please pass a croissant.” No! In the face of injustice and cruelty God acted decisively. He sent Messiah Jesus to put an end to the power that the world and the world’s systems held over the entire world. If God was willing to act, so should we who say that we are followers of God in Messiah Jesus.
What would this action look like? Sorry, I don’t have a comprehensive list to give you. There are lots of lawful ways to stand against injustice and corruption. In the U.S. we can vote our conscience. Some Christian don’t because, again, that separatist thing. To that kind of thinking I call BS. We absolutely should vote and participate in the democratic process. Not everyone in the world has such a choice. Don’t squander it! We can protest and march. I march and take part in Pride activities as a matter of conscience. We can write to and engage elected officials at town halls to speak about our ideas and feelings regarding various legislation. These things and others are ways that we can give voice to the voiceless and strive for justice in our world.Actions are great. We should feel comfortable with them.
What about our peace? I mentioned that many are suffering anxiety and fear these days. This is an issue that’s not easily dealt with. I feel that it can truly be addressed by the Good Grace of God through the Holy Spirit. Peace in the knowledge that what we experience in the world is not necessarily our true reality. I’m talking to followers of Messiah now. Our reality is in the world of God’s Good Presence. Jesus told Pilate that His kingdom was not of this world. That’s true. We who walk in the Way of Messiah know this. God is our Way. We own our lives in this world and are not owned by it. Speaking for myself, my peace does not depend on what the latest executive order is. My serenity is not broken by the roller coaster of Wall St. I see things as they are, not how they appear. I’m clear eyed to help the oppressed, the LGBTQ community, immigrants, and the homeless. If I am not under the circumstances, I can work to effect change on the circumstances. In a word, I am free. This is why Messiah lived, died, and was resurrected. That we might all be free from those powers that seem so driven to destroy us and others.
So, have hope! God is alive and well. We can be also.
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Must We Always Live Under “Same As It Ever Was?”

Published by mhelbert on December 31, 2024

Well, here we are at the end of yet another year. On the cusp of 2025 many of us share hope that the next year will be different. Spoiler alert: it won’t be. I’ve seen nearly 70 of these calendar pages turned. Nothing really changes. Except that I’ll forget the year on checks for a while. That’s why I use auto-pay a lot! So many people focus on what’s to come. And, too few of us truly reflect on what was. I think that’s a mistake. There is much that we have all accomplished that should be held high and celebrated. There are also those things that we would rather not been done.
Such is the way of it.
By “it” I mean the human condition. This is something that I’ve reflected on a great deal this past year. It is the true equalizer in the world. No one is beyond its influence. I even grasped that Jesus, the son of Joseph, was not above it. The only difference that I can see between Him and everyone else is that He chose to enter into it. But, that’s a story for another day.
This condition is universal in scope, yet appears differently to different cultures and classes. By definition, though we are all subject to it. I see this condition as one of misery, desertion, poverty, and anxiety. I think for many, 2024 taught us that. While we may live in our nice homes with all of the food and comforts that we desire, we still by our insurances and stock up ‘just in case.’
The year now winding down to its conclusion caused no shortage of anxiety. Not only in the U.S., but all around the world political and economic uncertainty has made us wary, not only of those who are different from us in race or culture, but of our own families and friends. These are the characteristics of the “human condition.” Not the outward appearance of well-being. That’s at best cosmetic. No, this condition is internal. It’s what we are born into. The evolutionists may say that this is simply a vestigial holdover from an earlier age when survival made suspicion and distrust necessary. Maybe. Only to me it seems that we as a species are more suspicious than ever. Of course, I have no way to prove that. It’s just my gut saying it.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m just getting old and cynical. Perhaps that’s part of the human condition, too. We see the reality of living. We are witness to suffering of other humans in war and poverty. Every. Single. Day. Fear is used as a tool to achieve wealth and power. Fear, that universal scourge that infects every living thing. Fight or flight. “Stay away from me and my stuff!” It’s no wonder that we crawl into our homes and view the world from the supposed safety of our various devices. Well, except those who can’t afford either a home or devices.
Such is our lot as we trek and toil toward…what?
A new year?
New hope?
New resolutions?
But, as David Byrne and the Talking Heads sang, “Same as it ever was, same as it ever was.”
Qoheleth, the Teacher, who wrote the Biblical book Ecclesiastes saw this over 2,000 years ago. He wrote, “Vanity! All is vanity…What has been is what will be,
and what has been done is what will be done;
there is nothing new under the sun.”
Does this mean that I must remain in a cynical, hopeless life?
No, of course not. There’s always hope. It’s just not in politics or the economy or how good our insurance is. I think that any hope that we might find is in that which we distrust.
Each other.
Community is where we came from. Our earliest ancestors learned that as they began to walk and live in a hostile world. They needed each other then. Just as we do now. To hide in our ‘safe’ homes is an illusion. We can never hide from ourselves or our fears. Together, however, we might just learn to trust and walk in the light.
Much, (all?), of what I’m thinking in this regard comes directly from my study of the Bible and the community of faith that I’m part of. Most, however, has been discerned as I sit quietly with God. I think that this quietness is the beginning of community. After all, God exists in community; Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. But, then, I believe in stuff that most of the world doesn’t.
While I have no trust in the ways and systems of this world, I do have a fleeting hope in humanity to see outside of itself. To grasp the truth of our need to trust, not only one another, but the earth and all that it contains. We are all floating around on the wet ball. If we can’t learn to trust to this reality and the God Who lives here with us,
Who can we trust?

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Perfect Love Disarms And Casts Away Fear

Published by mhelbert on February 28, 2024

I wrote a short while ago how I’m so over the current news cycles. Not only are they biased in order to garner clicks and advertisers, they are truly skewed to generate negative emotions. Not like mine. I get frustrated and turn the shit off. On the other hand, there are a huge number of people who sit enthralled by the latest headlines of shootings and war and politicians’ lies. They want to know why these things are happening so they turn to any source that can provide them with some kind of solace. Even if that means diving into the sewer that is Q-anon or the Chans. Even idiotic conspiracy theories are better than nothing when it comes to explaining the world.
Why is this? How is it that normally rational human beings turn to nonsense dressed in satin and lace? I have a theory.
Fear.
Ok, it’s not so much mine. Nor is it a theory. It’s pretty much a proven fact that fear drives people to think and do things that, under normal existence, they would never consider. This is the prime motivation that all of the news networks employ to keep people coming back for more and more bad news. That’s because fear is a great motivator. Folks live in fear for their lives, their livelihoods, and their children. Fear of losing a job or, worse, to lose status and power in the culture sends people into the streets, (and, onto the Capitol steps).
If I was an anthropologist I could likely spin a tale of evolutionary conditioning in which fear was a good thing. Fear kept our ancestors on the lookout for predators. Fear enabled them to ‘fight or flight’ reactions. Our ancient fears allowed our species to survive and thrive. Yeah, if I was that anthropologist. I’m not.
The fear that I’m talking about really has nothing to do with those old self-preservation fears, anyhow. This fear is totally irrational. I know that the main character on the TV show, Irrational, says that all people do irrational things. He’s likely right. But, in today’s world fear drives people to live in irrationality. Fear drives them deeper and deeper into the darkness where light diminishes into shadow.
I wrote several years ago about how some so-called preachers instill fear into those under their care. That is a type of abuse aimed at control. Today’s fear isn’t too far removed from that. Only now the media and political leaders use fear to control everyone within earshot. I am pointing my finger at ALL media and ALL politicians. It doesn’t matter what side of the aisle, fear is the chain that binds people. If you hadn’t noticed, the name of this blog is Breaking the Chains that Bind. That’s why I’m writing this post. We don’t need to be shackled by the cultural public fear that we’re being fed every hour of every day.
Of course, we could simply walk away and ignore it. That’s not practical, but it is possible. We would effectively need to remove ourselves from the public domain and hibernate in a cave somewhere. There’s always the option of educating ourselves about what’s going on. But, when folks are bound up in their own fearful little corner of the world, education doesn’t work. Their personal shields make it impossible for them to accept any facts that may contradict the safety of their world. No, something much more powerful than education must be used. I could claim that faith in God is the only true solution. So many powerful people, re., men, proclaim that Jesus is the Answer. However, they neglect to tell us what the question is. Jesus is touted as the Perfect Elixir for All That Ails Ya. All ya gotta do is think and believe exactly like I tell you to. (Not how I actually think and believe. Just sayin’.)
Way back in the days when the first communities of faith were getting their feet, there was a lot of reason to fear. Not these made up fears that bombard us day and night. There was the real chance that those folks would not live to see another day because of their beliefs. Many of them did not survive. They lost whatever social community they may have grown up with. Their means to earn a living was many times taken from them. Martyrdom was a real possibility. If anyone should be allowed some lee way when it comes to fear, these were the people.
They didn’t. At least not all of them. We read of Ignatius of Antioch we hear of a man who was en-route to Rome in order to die in the arena. A spectacle for Rome that would show that Rome had the true power. Yet, Ignatius is said to have written letters to others and spoken about his impending martyrdom. These sources reveal a person who was a peace.
Why?
St. John the Elder wrote, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love” (1 John 4:18).
Love.
Love is the answer to fear.
If we have love of the ‘other’ then fear of migrants or minorities melts away into vapor. If we love our enemy as Jesus, himself, taught his followers we remove any reason that they may have to harm us. (Of course, some people cannot be deflected from doing harm. Even with the Love of God offered to them.) Even with that parenthesis, our love disallows fear. Love keeps that foul seed from taking root. It’s written that love covers a multitude of sins. That’s true. Fear is one of those sins that love covers and subsumes.
I don’t know why I wrote this particular post. Perhaps, it is a timely word for some folks to hear. All I do know is that I am still working on that whole love thing myself. It isn’t perfected in me. But, I know that fear is not where I want to live. And, Love is the only way to disarm and defeat fear.

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