Category: Life goes on…

So, What’re Ya Gonna Do?

Published by mhelbert on January 15, 2020

People have been asking me, “So, do you know what you’re gonna do after you retire?”
I know that they mean well. They want to encourage me as I move into the next phase of the Journey. And, I know that they want to convince themselves that there can, indeed, be life after work. I know that because I asked the same questions to others as they laid aside the garments of labor and took up the mantle of the Retired.

To be honest, though, I’m not entirely sure what’s next. Like I told the person at Social Security yesterday as she was asking all sorts of questions, “I don’t know. I’ve never retired before.”
That’s the truth.
This is all new and uncharted territory. I don’t know for sure what’s coming next.
Yeah, I’m lining up some options. But, nothing yet etched in stone.

It might be easier if I told people what I will NOT be doing.

So, here’s a list of things that I’m sure will not happen after March 31, 2020.

I will not pack a lunch and drive to Cleveland in order to work. There will be no time clock to punch. No deadlines to meet. This may be the most significant thing that will not happen.
I will not buy golf clubs and take up that game. I do not now, nor have I ever, seen any use in chasing a little white ball around a cow pasture with a stick. Not gonna happen.
I will not plop my butt in my recliner and turn on the tube. (For those of you who may be unaware, the “tube” refers to the television. They used to use Cathode Ray Tubes to produce a picture.) The remote will remain remote from my fingers. Not gonna sit and watch the world go by. Won’t happen.
I will not buy a winter home in Florida or Texas or New Mexico. Not gonna be a Snowbird. That’s not to say that we may not relocate to a warmer clime. But, going back and forth between two properties? Not gonna happen.
I will not take up playing cards or bingo or bocce ball or any of those other activities where old folks in Bermuda shorts with black support stockings stand around pretending to be active. If at some time my physical condition should deteriorate to the point that I am forced into assisted living, well, I’ve given instructions that I should be taken out behind the barn and shot. I fully intend to spend more time at Planet Fitness than sitting at a card table.
I’m not going to put up with a batch of shit from people who think they can go around spreading that manure. I’m old now. I don’t need that from folks. Nope. Not gonna happen.
I’m not going to give up my hope in people to grow and do the right things. No, I don’t place faith in Human Nature. We have 50,000 years of experience to show that’s not really trustworthy. But, we also have example after example of people stepping up to the task of being God’s Ikons in this world. I have witnessed too many people doing right. And, I know that God has not given up on us, either. So, not gonna give up.

I know that you were probably expecting a Top Ten List.
Well, that’s something else I’m not gonna do. In fact, I have already begun it.
I’m not gonna live up to the expectations of other people.
I have never been able to do that.
Not gonna start now.

So, there you have it. A brief look at my “Not To Do List.”
I think everyone should have one of these. It may help avoid all kinds of trouble.

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And, The Fun Begins

Published by mhelbert on January 14, 2020

1971.
Ah, I remember it well.
I learned to drive that years. Keep pets and small children away from the roadway!
I started my junior year of high school that year. Rah-rah…oh, crap.
I also began a journey that I would never have thought possible.
My first job in a print shop came that year. My dad worked at Lorain Priniting Co. in Lorain, OH. He felt that I needed to have a real job. I guess full-time student didn’t count. I should really have a paying diversion from all of the rock-n-roll stuff that was fogging up my brain.

Anyway, my first position was cleaning the overhead. For those who have never been in a commercial print shop, the overhead is the ceiling, pipes, ductwork, and lights. Basically, everything “Over Head.”
Commercial offset presses used a spray powder that coated each sheet as it passed out of the printing units and was stacked at the delivery end of the press. The powder was to keep the sheets with wet ink from sticking to each other.
However, the powder was not particular about what it actually attached itself to. It floated everywhere. And, stuck to everything. Including, yep, the overhead.
The problem with this was that once the powder built up above the presses, any vibration would cause the powder to fall into the press and possibly cause unwanted spots and dirt on the final printed sheet.
The powder had also been known to become explosive when enough of it built up and a static electric charge was applied.
So, yeah. Someone needed to get out the 30 gallon vacuum and suck up the powder.
Anyway, that was, what? 49 years ago.

I had, at one time, planned to go to college after high school. I had been accepted at Malone College for the fall semester of 1973. But, I had a job in a print shop. I was no longer cleaning the overhead. I had moved up to making deliveries and there was a position on a press that was available.
Hey! Don’t judge!
I was 18 and had gas money coming in.
So, I rationalized my future and skipped college to remain in the work force.
Yay, me!
(The stupidity that led to that decision will have to wait for another time.)

Anyway, this is all a long way to say that, as I wrote in an earlier post, I am retiring from printing this year.
I think that 49 years is long enough.
It’s time to move on to a new chapter of life.

Today I went to Social Security to get that ball rolling so that on April 1 I will start receiving benefits.
Yeah, you heard that right.
March 31, 2020* will be my last day of being gainfully employed.
On the next day, April Fool’s, I will be officially retired.
The date does seem kind of appropriate.

So, here’s looking to the future.
I have no idea what it will hold for sure.
There are several possibilities that I’m currently weighing.
It will be a journey, though.
One that I hope you all will come along with me on.

*Date updated to March 31.
No, I am NOT staying until May!!!!
Sheesh!

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Change is in the Air. And, It Smells Like French Fries

Published by mhelbert on January 8, 2020

Last week I wrote that this year, 2020, is not going to be like most other years.
There are new things sitting on the horizon. If you squint just a little and tilt your head to the left a tad, you should be able to see them.

In just under three months I am going to enter the ranks of “Those Who You Used to Work.”
Aka: Retired.

I began working in the printing industry 49 years ago. For those keeping score, that’s a loonngg time ago. Little did I know then, as I cleaned spray powder off the ceiling and pipes, that I would spend my entire adult life helping to push paper through machines.
But, I have come from those first days of cleaning the overhead to sweeping floors and working in the warehouse, through helping on presses and nearly 45 years in prepress, to here today getting ready to say goodbye.

I have a lot of different feelings right now.
So much has happened during the last nearly half century. Most of it good. Some time spent in the valley. But, that’s the way life is, right?

There is so much that I would like to write about.
But, I am still processing some of this.
Yeah, I’ve been planning for this for quite a while.
That doesn’t change the feelings of anxiety and fear that lurk around the periphery of my heart and mind. It’s not until you etch the decision in stone that the reality of change begins to truly come into focus. As long as you’re talking about what’s coming it still has a fairy tale feel.
But, when you actually bite into the apple and feel the truth coursing through your veins, well, let’s just say that it’s different.
It’s real.
This is actually happening.

Yikes!

So, change is coming.

No stopping it.

We just try to not get squashed by it.

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The Times They Are A’changin’

Published by mhelbert on January 1, 2020

First, I wish that you all will have a happy and prosperous New Year in 2020. The ball dropped. The old is past. Hope looks ahead.

Many of us look to this date as a resetting of the clock. We are full of optimism and hope for fresh changes in the twelve months that lie ahead. Resolutions for personal improvement and growth are made once the effects of last night wear off. (Hint: Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate!)
Then, by February the resolutions are largely forgotten and we get on with life as usual. In my entire life I only made one resolution that I successfully implemented. That was to never make a New Year’s resolution. I have kept that one.

I am not going to have the luxury of allowing life to simply carry on as usual this year. There are changes coming that will upend the routines that I’ve spent nearly 50 years building and reinforcing. They say that time waits for no one. This year is proof of that.

And, I have to admit to no small amount of fear and uncertainty. Any changes that come our way cause anxiety. Major life events, no matter how well prepared for, bring that anxiety on steroids.
I remember how my wife and I walked into marriage 43 years ago. Yeah, there was great joy and celebration. But, our lives were changed that day. We looked forward to our life together with optimism and fear. A strange emotional cocktail. We drank it, however, and for better or worse we have muddled our way through.

We looked forward with happy expectation as our children entered the world and joined us on this journey.
Again, though, worries and anxiety came to the party.
How would we be as parents?
Concerns about finances, health, housing, education, etc., etc., etc. clouded our minds every day.
Life as we knew it had changed forever.

We watched as our own parents aged and walked on from this life.
Our friends and siblings grew up and apart over the years.
People change.
That’s part of the journey, isn’t it?

And, still we trek on. Putting one foot in front of the other.
In the midst of, or perhaps, in spite of the anxiety.

The alternative is to stop walking.
The result of that is to wake up on the wrong side of the grass.

All of that to say, 2020 will be a year of profound change for us.
And, yes, I am afraid of what lies ahead.
It is an unknown.
If thar be beasties out there, then we’ll meet them together.

Perhaps, though, there is a new world awaiting us with new joys and gifts and promises.

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Goodbye, Old Friend

Published by mhelbert on January 1, 2020

I was going to post this yesterday.
But, I ran out of time.
Kinda like so much else last year.

Goodbye, Old Friend!
You came to us with a shout of gladness,
Clad in diaper and sash.

Quickly you grew in harmony with the world around us.
From infant to child. The green shoot echoing as it pushed through the frost.

You blossomed into a young adult.
Full of promise; growing in Strength.
You worked among us and shared the fruit of your labor.
We all ate and were satisfied.

All too soon, we saw white, like frost on the grass, appear in your hair.
Like the naked trunks of trees, lines began to crease your brow.

Now, your departure is at hand.
It is with profound thanks that we sing this final goodbye.

As I considered the passing of the year I couldn’t separate it from the cycle of life that we experience here. As the world around us stirs and grows from the cold of winter through spring planting. Sowing and reaping; hope and gladness. Until the circle is joined as we bid farewell to our old friend.

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Sunset on Another Year

Published by mhelbert on December 30, 2019

Today’s the Eve of New Year’s Eve.
For a lot of us it’s a time to tidy up after Christmas. Take the decorations down and store them away for another year.
Others may still be returning gifts or redeeming gift cards. Gotta keep Amazon busy!
For many it’s just another day. Back to work trying to make sure all of the year-end accounting is completed.
Then there are those who take the last few days of the year to reflect on the days now past.
The days of darkness from a year ago when the cold winds whipped across the landscape. Snow and ice piled up in parking lots. Yet, with lengthening daylight came a bit of hope.
Hope that was finally realized when the first crocus forced its head up through the still thawing earth. There was the return of the birds and other animals after their long winter sojourn in other places or hidden away from the forces of Nature.
Hope gave way to realization of new life and green trees. Warmth seeping into the ground to rouse the seed and call the sprout from its protective shell.
Soon the colors change and daylight again begins to wane. Harvest time! Gladness in the fruit of the ground!
Then, the circle closes as we come, yet again, to the end.

Or, is it a beginning?

As the Cosmos cycles through birth, life, and death, so too do we.
There are cries of newborns and sighs of the aged and infirm.
Relationships blossom and bloom. While others get tangled in the weeds, choke, and pass into compost.

Yet, it continues.

We still hope.

We still sow and reap.

Perhaps it is a good thing to reflect.
To remember things as they are and have been.

But, we can’t dwell there, can we?

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Friday Bits-N-Pieces

Published by mhelbert on December 20, 2019

I’ve never written a post that consists of bits-n-pieces of happenings and stuff. So, this is a new adventure for all of us! Yippee!

I’m currently on vacation from work. I had quite a bit of time to use up before the end of the year. I like taking time now. It gives me a chance to finish Christmas preparations at a pace that helps me remain sane. I finished shopping, the house is decorated, and cards have been mailed. All I have to do is wrap a few things. Then, Bring it on!!! I’m ready!!!

It’s been an exciting time for writing posts for this blog. Views have been consistent. While I would like to see followers and comments increase, I know that all things happen in their own time. I need to keep trying to produce content worth your time to read.
If any of you who actually do take the time to read what I post, how about dropping me a line in the comments to let me know what you think? I don’t bite. At least not too hard. And, it would be good to know who’s actually out there.

I’ve written a bit about my journey at St. Barnabas Episcopal Church recently. I started attending there regularly a little over a year ago. Since that time I’ve met a lot of people who truly want to follow Jesus. And, not just with lip service. They take seriously the statement that God loves Everyone…No exceptions.
Since last June I have had the privilege of leading a weekly Bible study. Few people come to it. I think partly because it’s before the worship service and many have kids to get ready. Plus, it’s early on Sunday morning. But, those who have been coming are excited about it. It’s not your typical study. I don’t follow a curriculum. Nor, do I pretend to be a teacher. We use the readings from the lectionary for that particular Sunday morning. Then, we discuss what we read. We ask questions of the text. We question God about what was written. Why was it written? Who wrote it? When was it written? To whom was it written? We don’t teach morality or politics. We talk about the text. In leading this way I hope to help folks learn how to read and listen to the Scriptures with a critical mind. We push back on some of the popular ways that the Bible is used as a weapon. Or, how people try to pawn of their certainty that the Bible says this or that.
It has been a fun journey so far.

Speaking of St. Barnabas…
Tomorrow, Saturday the 21st, we are having a special service for those who may be grieving or may have suffered some loss. This is difficult at any time. But, during the holidays loss may be even harder to deal with. So, we are offering this time to reflect, to pray, to walk a labyrinth, and to share our grief with God and one another.
Jesus gave a commandment that we are to love one another. This is just one more way for us to flesh that out.

Well, that’s about all I have right now.
Let me know what’s happening with you in the comments!

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Seasons Change, and So Do We

Published by mhelbert on November 15, 2019

I was just thinking about someone who at one time was my best friend in the world.
That was over 5 decades ago. I haven’t seen him since elementary school.
Yet, my heart is warmed by the memories of building tree houses and riding skateboards, (back when they were little more than a board with the steel wheels from roller skates screwed to them.)

With Middle School and High School came new friends and interests. Those, too, have fallen at the wayside of time and life.

I can follow each path that I walked upon in my life. There are people, places, scents, tastes, and sounds that bring each path into bright, colorful focus.
Each stage is, in its own way, good. Each has left its imprint on who I am Now.

And, like flowers that bloom and provide beauty and fresh fragrance, each path is eventually spent and falls to the ground.

I mention this because there is also a part of us, perhaps woven into the very fabric of our humanity, that wants to remain walking the same path. We don’t want to veer left or right. Not even when the path diverges into several.
“I don’t want to hurt their feelings,” we say about a relationship that has run its course.
“What if I’m wrong?” is a question that paralyzes people. We are frozen, unable to move on way or the other. All the while, the sands of time continue to fall into the bottom of the glass.

A Greek philosopher, Heraclitus is credited with saying, “Nothing is permanent except change.”

If true, then perhaps embracing change would help us to flower and flourish.
Yes, some blossoms bloom and die.
They are soon replaced by other blossoms that bloom in their season.

Qoheleth wrote:

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven

Seasons come; Seasons go.
Such is the way of the Cosmos.
Embrace the change.
After all, it is the only permanence we have.

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Happy New Year!!!

Published by mhelbert on November 1, 2019

Ok, I know! It’s November 1st, not January 1st.
But, today is an anniversary of sorts for me that marks a rather significant milestone.
Before I get to that, though, there is another milestone I want to share.

THIS IS MY 400TH BLOG POST!
(And, the crowd goes wild!)

I went back and checked. My first post was written using Blogspot on
December 12, 2009. Considering that it’s been a decade in the making, maybe 400 posts doesn’t seem like a lot. But, it is. Trust me.

The other reason that this is a significant date for me is that one year ago today I started my first NaNoWriMo.
And, that ushered in a year of pretty substantial creativity from me.

I finished NaNo at the end of November with a novel of just over 50,000 words.
During that month I learned a lot about the process of writing. I learned that to create anything takes hard work and showing up Every. Single. Day. I had to average almost 2,000 words per day in order to achieve the goal.

And, I did it!

One of the results of that experience was an increase in content output for me. Yeah, I didn’t show up a lot on this here blog thingy. Not nearly as much as I would have liked. But, I began what has now been a nearly year long process of introspection. I primarily use Journaling for that work. Right now I’m on my third journal since Jan. 1 and will be going out to buy a fourth this weekend.
And, yes, Journaling is creative writing.
It enables me to tap into the Creative River that courses through the Cosmos. Writing this way opens my Heart to the internal Pulse of Life that animates me as I walk through the fields of this life. I also continue to develop the discipline of showing up every day to think, create, and write.

So, yeah!
It’s New Years for me!

Tonight I will begin the task that is NaNoWriMo 2019.
In 30 days I hope to have another 50,000+ words completed.
As near as I can tell, this is the Best Way to ring in a New Year!

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Family

Published by mhelbert on October 1, 2019

On Saturday we went to a small town in North Central Ohio. We went there in order to celebrate the life of one my aunts who passed late last winter. It seems that the only time we all get together anymore is when someone ‘walks on.’

I hope to share some of my reflections on this gathering later this week. Today, however, I want to touch on just one point of being “Family.”

We wanted our side of the family to all be present for this. It would be good for everyone to touch base. However, my son had to work. So, we picked up his wife and our grandson and headed southwest.

This would be the first time our grandson had met most of these folks. We’re not exactly active when it comes to keeping up.

As we were driving, he became a bit impatient because it takes about an hour and a half to get to the place. And, he’s not used to sitting still in a car for that long. Plus, I think he may have been just a tad nervous about what was going to happen.

We drove past old, rusted hulks of cars and farm equipment, falling down barns, and acre after acre of soy bean and oats ripening in the Autumn sun. After a while his Mother asked if he would like to live out here.
“No,” he replied, “there’s nothing to do.”
Yep, the response you’d expect from a 9 yr. old from the city.

When we arrived the room was filling up with a lot of people. My Aunt and Uncle’s family is well-known in this tiny burg out in the middle of nowhere.

We greeted everyone and began to rekindle long smoldering relationships and introducing our grandson. Soon, he was sitting quietly with his mother playing something on his phone.

Now, I was a bit concerned that he would become bored and restless and start getting antsy. But, he remained calm for the duration of the celebration.

After, we all went to one of my cousin’s home to continue catching up. My cousin’s home is on a small lake where he keeps a boat. Some of the other kids were down by the water fishing and hanging out. So, I asked him if he’d like to go down and have look.

We walked down to the dock where the boat was tied up. He got aboard and steadied himself on the gently rolling deck. He got to watch some of the kids reel in a few fish. He helped them keep track of their bait and, pretty much, observe. This was a completely new experience for him.

Soon, my cousin decided to take some of the kids out on the boat so they could do some tubing. My wife went and took our grandson with her. They watched as all of the kids took their turn being dragged across the surface of the water, bouncing and swerving over the wake. Soon, all of the kids had a turn except for our grandson. He has no experience being in the water like that. When the other kids started to say that it was his turn, my wife said that he looked like a deer caught in headlights. My cousin noticed and said, “It’s ok. Maybe next time.” They returned to shore.

Soon after I noticed him out in the large yard playing games with some of the other kids. Pretty amazing how kids just sort of ‘get it’ when it comes to playing together.

When it was finally time to leave, we said our goodbyes and started the trip home. It had been a long day for all of us and we were quite ready to get home to rest.

As we were driving he said, “I never knew that I had so much family.”
Yeah, that’s pretty much it.

Family.

His mother asked him again if he would like to live out there.

“Yes,” was all he said.

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