I’m Back! Well, kinda. It would be understating things just a tad if I said that my body hadn’t just taken a pretty big hit. I guess that you can’t have your belly cut open and 12″ of colon removed then get back to business as usual. Hell, it’s taken over a week and a half just to get one semi-formed turd! (Ok, I get it…TMI.) But, you get the idea. I am still quite a way off from being anywhere close to physically well.
The week I spent in hospital was rough. I tried to share some of what was going on with friends on Facebook. I had a lot of fluids going in, but not much coming out. This caused the staff to get concerned. Then, I began to get sick. Nausea. Not good with a belly wound. They stuck an NG tube up my nose and into my stomach to help relieve the distress. There is nothing fun about that. Not at all. Eventually, after about a day and a half, it appeared that things had settled down. They pulled the tube and I began to take clear liquids again. I had finally turned a corner and was on my way forward toward recovery again.
But, it’s slow. I’ve had to purposely keep from doing too much. That has included writing here and spending much time on social media.
What all of this down time has allowed is time to reflect. Now, for those of you who know me, that can be a dangerous thing. Giving me time to spend inside of my own head, well, weird stuff can happen. So, I hope to spend time discussing some of these thoughts here over the next little while. I don’t know that I’ll be able to write every day. That’s going to entirely depend on how I feel. Right now I have to listen to my body. And, if it says, “Whoa! Not today!” Then, so be it. But, as the name of this blog states, I am here to push boundaries. I want to offer alternatives to accepted norms. I ask questions and don’t necessarily expect answers. And, I want to spend more time working to speak Truth to Power. People have for too long been marginalized and held down because of religion and other human-created constraints. There are a lot of other people, like me, who have seen enough crap and are compelled to speak up. So, that’s kinda where I hope to head in the next little while with a particular focus on critique from within concerning the Christian Church. It needs it.
Chains come in many shapes and sizes. When I think of chains that bind my mind conjures an image of Jacob Marley confronting his old partner Ebenezer Scrooge. I’m sure that you remember that. Marley trudges up the stairs of Scrooge’s house. We here the Thump of his footfalls. There is the sound of metal dragging and clunking up the wooden steps. Marley enters the room completely bound in iron links with locks and iron boxes attached along the length of the chain.
The purpose of this blog is to look at the chains that we willing allow ourselves to be caught up in, and to get out the keys and the bolt cutters so that we can be freed from this burden.
So, I ask questions. Most of the time I have no answers to those questions. Just asking may be enough to remove a link or five.
One thing that I’ve questioned over many years is, “What is the flesh”? For those of us who have our spiritual roots in the World of Evangelicalism, the answer is pretty clear. The flesh in the New Testament refers to the sinful nature of all humans as a result of Adam and Eve disobeying God. It is something that we are born with. It is something that must be overcome and defeated.
In short, it is an evil stain on our humanity that is wholly corrupt.
As a result, there is nothing that humans can possibly do that will please God. Only through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ can we have any hope at all of putting our Flesh to death and becoming people pleasing to God.
Pretty cool, huh?
Now, there are some philosophical underpinnings to this idea. A thing called Neo-Platonism influenced theologians. In that philosophy the entire physical cosmos is corrupt. It doesn’t live up to some Ultimate Ideal that exists in some other reality. (Don’t worry. I’m not gonna chase that rabbit.)
My question, though, is “Are they correct”? Is the Flesh evil, or at least, contrary to God?
I want to say, No, it’s not.
In fact, I want to stand in direct opposition to that entire notion.
For those who want a pithy quote to hang on to,
“The Flesh Ain’t So Bad After All.”
What?!?! I can hear all of my evangelical friends crying out, “Heretic! Fuel the Bonfire!”
Not so fast, my friends. There may be more to this story than your leaders have figured out.
Perhaps the most important thing that I learned in seminary was that the Bible was NOT written to us. When those ancient people, living in ancient cultures, spoke and wrote those ancient words, they were not thinking, “Gee, I think I need to write something to those folks living in America 2,000 years from now.” The trouble is, many people believe that they did. They think that the words in Scripture can be cut from their original context and pasted into ours. Wrong. They can’t.
The current thoughts in evangelicalism about the language of “Flesh” is an example of that.
The Apostle Paul is the authority that most of these folks turn to. After all, he wrote more about the Flesh than any other New Testament writer. They cite texts about how that works of the flesh produce death. The list of the so-called works of the flesh is given in a negative context to the so-called works of the spirit. By the end of the day we are presented with a dichotomy or warring people parts. Flesh Bad/Spirit Good!
The problem with this lies in our Western concept of humanity. The Ancient Greeks influenced not only our philosophy, but our theology as well. They fired their best shot at understanding the relationship of Spirit and Flesh. And, they missed the target entirely.
When Paul wrote about the flesh he was writing about one thing, and one thing only. This skin tent that we all live in.
That’s it. Period.
I don’t know about you. But, I don’t see anything moral or immoral about that. It’s necessary for us. Can’t live without it. It holds our bones together and keeps our innards from spilling out on the floor.
So, why all the Bad Flesh language today?
The ancient Semitic view of a person was one in which we are all a complete and unified Soul. Body, spirit, the whole shebang is a singular and inseparable unit.
There is a difference between the parts. But, all are necessary for a person to be Whole.
I want to suggest that the difference lies, not in the Flesh alone, but in the appetites that we have and how we live with those.
I think that there is a sort of asceticism that Paul and the other writers encouraged. They seemed to desire that people learn how to discipline themselves, to control their appetites, in such a way that appetites did not control them. In their view the flesh is not evil, but can get unruly. We can become enslaved to the instincts and desires of our physical body. These may then push us beyond our needs and into the realm of doing real harm to ourselves and others.
The early Church decided in their Councils that physical things are not evil. After all, God looked at creation and said that it was “Very Good.” Jesus, the Son of God throughout all eternity, put on a “Tent of Flesh” and became human. Just like you and me.
No, the whole idea that our flesh is somehow an evil that must be defeated is Wrong! It is Deadly! It needs to go away to the Pit where it belongs.
The name of this blog is “Breaking the Chains That Bind.” I chose that name for a reason. Many folks are bound up in all sorts of chains. Chains of tradition, patriarchy, theology, and expectations are just a few. I try to talk about these from time to time in order to, perhaps, open a small crack of hope for those people. Maybe, I can hand them a key that will unlock the chains. Other times I pull out a blade that can cut through the chains as if they were made of silk thread.
Today I want to look at something that I find all too often. It derives from an insidious lie that has been poured into people’s hearts and minds for way too long.
Here’s how it usually presents itself.
Person 1: Hey! How’s everything? Person 2: Not bad. You? Person 1: I’m good. Although, I wish that I could find time to pray. Person 2: Yeah, I hear ya. “Read your Bible, Pray everyday and you’ll Grow, Grow, Grow.” Person 1: I know! I’ve been really convicted about this ever since Pastor brought that message about Paul writing, “Pray without ceasing.” I mean, who really does that? Person 2: I know that I can’t. I guess that I just don’t have enough faith or something. Person 1: Me too. I feel like a complete failure in the Christian life thing. I can’t even manage 10 minutes a day consistently.
I could go on. But, I think that you get the idea. We are told time after time after time that unless we do certain things, like pray, in a specific manner we are something “Less Than.” Less than committed. Less than faithful. Less than a true believer.
We are told that we are weak. We are told that we are a failure. We are told that if we don’t do everything that we are told by fallible people then God will be ever-so-pissed at us. Shame on you!!!
The reason that I’m writing this today is to share a little secret with you. Shhh!!!
God doesn’t care.
Whoa! What?!? What do you mean God doesn’t care?
C’mon! Do you really think that God sits around with a scorecard to keep track of your prayer life?
God does care about you, though. God cares that you have an abundant life. God cares that you love your neighbor as yourself. God cares that you care for the “least of these.” Your sisters and brothers.
And, yes, God cares when we spend time in God’s Presence.
But, keeping track of minutes and seconds? No, not on God’s radar. God knows that we have difficulty with this. God did become one of us, remember? So, God gets it. That’s why God has provided grace for us. Grace to desire God’s Presence. Grace to follow in the footsteps of Jesus. And, yes, even grace to pray.
God is faithful in this. I know because there are days when for one reason or another I can’t find my way to that quiet place where I sit with God and we share our hearts and minds with one another. And, God is gracious. God is not pissed. God’s desire is not to coerce us nor punish us because we don’t live up to the expectations of some preacher or writer or whatever. God’s desire is simply to “Be” with us. And, through God’s grace, we can also find a desire to “Be” with God.
So, be nice to yourself! Don’t concern yourself with living up to someone else’s idea of spirituality. Let God’s own Good Grace draw you gently into God’s Presence.
Folks who know me understand that I have no qualms about asking questions. Tough questions. Of anyone. For any reason.
Most of the time I ask questions in order to evoke reflection. I’m not really challenging anyone. I want them to think deeply about what they are saying or doing. And, questions open up the possibility of discussions. Discussion is always good.
Especially, for someone like me.
You see, many times I have no idea what I think about something until I actually say it out loud. (Or, write about it. Like now.) So, in forming and stating questions I am more able to process the internal thoughts that roam free upon the ranges of my mind.
I take this same approach when I speak to, and about, God. Hey! I heard that collective gasp out there! “What?!? You question God?”
Sure. Why not? Do you really think that God is afraid of my questions? Perhaps I might catch God off guard with something? One time I said to a pastor of the church I was attending that God is OK with our questions. His response? “Well, maybe. But, I wouldn’t push it.”
Push God?
How exactly does a person “Push God”?
Anyway, that said, I want to get to the real reason for this post. (The mark of a true writer is to be able to write a whole bunch of words before making a point. It boosts word count.)
Most of you know that I’m currently dealing with colon cancer. It’s like going to a party and receiving a White Elephant gift. “Ok, now what am I supposed to do with this purple Bobbing Bird?” Many people have expressed their concern and have said that they will keep me in their thoughts and prayers. I appreciate this sentiment. It reveals our common concern for others. We’ve all suffered through one thing or another. So, we try to empathize with those who are currently suffering. So, to all of you, a heartfelt, “Thank You”!
But, what if……
There are a lot of people out there who think that all they need to do is garner enough faith and pray. They think that God will then miraculously heal them. If they follow the correct procedure, according to their unique reading of Holy Scripture, God is almost obligated to heal them. “But, God said if I have faith like a mustard seed I can tell this mountain to throw itself into the sea! And, it will! Hallelujah!” I don’t know about you, but I haven’t seen a lot of heavenly landscaping recently. These same people have built million dollar industries on the fear of people. Folks get sick. The diagnosis is dire. Benny Hinn says, “God will heal you!” as he puts his hands on your head. The emotions of the moment are overwhelming. You find yourself being helped to the floor by attendants who work for the scamvangelist. People in the room and around the world see this and happily reach into their undernourished bank accounts to send money so that “God’s work can continue.”
But, what if……
God doesn’t work that way?
But, what if……
God’s only real promise to us is that, “I will never leave you nor forsake you”?
But, what if……
God never intended for us to avoid all of the stuff, good and bad, that makes us human?
But, what if……
God understands our suffering and sorrows and will walk with us as we move forward?
I know that some folks will take issue with these thoughts. Some may even question my faith.
Yesterday morning I went to St. Barnabas, led a Bible class, and went into the sanctuary for the service. Nothing unusual in that. That’s pretty much been my normal Sunday morning practice since last June. I walked in and found my seat. Yes, we all have “our” seat, “our” place on the pew. And, heaven help that person who sits there before we get in! Don’t deny it! “My” seat is at the back of the sanctuary.
The service began as it always does. We stand for a hymn while the priest and acolytes walk to their places at the front of the church. A couple of prayers were offered. Then we sat down to listen to the readings that were selected for this particular morning.
As I sat there, I gazed around at the people who were all sitting in “their” seats. Their faces were all pointing toward the lectern where someone stood, reading words from our Holy book.
My heart became suddenly light. Joy welled up within me as I watched these people. Around 150 people had chosen to come here. They chose to spend their time on this gloriously sunny morning in February together!
Later in the service as I knelt by the altar rail to receive communion, as the host was on my tongue, I looked back out over all of those people.
I smiled.
I thanked God for all of them. Every child. Every woman. Every man.
Why, I wondered, had they chosen to come here? Why St. Barnabas and not St. Mattress?
In the early mornings, when all is quiet, I sit at my desk and seek God. During this time I lift my hopes, dreams, concerns, and desires to the Heavenly Dwelling of Yahweh. Daily, I remember the people of St. Barnabas. Our priest and leadership. Those who serve faithfully in myriad ways.
And, I always ask Yahweh to make St. Barnabas Church a beacon of Love, Hope, and Acceptance. A lighthouse in the storms that rage, unseen, around and in each and every one of us.
Are these many people I watched yesterday, with all of their faults and foibles, all of their wounds and scars, all of their hopes for tomorrow, a result of prayers like mine?
Perhaps.
I can’t know for certainty.
What I do know, however, is that when I sat in that place, with all of those people, I felt God’s pleasure.
I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. Yeah, I know, that may be understating things just a tad. On top of the cancer concern I am also battling a sinus thing that has pretty much kicked my butt.
I’m not asking for sympathy or anything. It’s simply part of walking in this skin suit. We get sick. Big deal; so what?
I do want to share an observation, though.
This morning as I was taking time to sit in the silence and reflect, I realized that I have not taken time to be “present” with God. My normal practice of waking in the early hours of the morning and focusing my heart and mind on Yahweh’s Presence had been interrupted. Hacking; coughing; unable to breathe. These things can be a distraction.
Yahweh, however, had still been Present with me.
Yeah, I know all of the so-called spiritual sayings and platitudes that folks like to riff on. “God is an ever present help in time of trouble” is a favorite among the uber-spiritual. We say that to folks who seem to struggle with their problems and their relationship with God. “Buck up, Buddie! God’s still with you! Could you pass the mustard, please?”
How many of us have taken the time to sit with that idea? Have any of us really contemplated what it actually means when we read or hear, “I will never leave you, nor forsake you”?
To be clear, I don’t think for a nanosecond that this Presence of God resembles anything like the Cosmic Killjoy who is just watching, waiting for us to screw up. “Busted! I know what you were thinking! Ten demerits and a trip to Hell for you!”
Nor, do I think that Yahweh is sitting behind a Judge’s bench waiting expectantly to pass judgement on everything that we have done or thought.
Unfortunately, that’s what so many of our Sisters and Brothers have been taught. God uses the same technology as Santa Claus. “I see you when you’re sleeping. I know when you’re awake. I know if you’ve been bad or good…”
In this picture, God is a Cosmic Voyeur just waiting for us to screw up so that we can get what we so richly deserve. Punishment.
No, No,No!!!!
I can’t say No enough times to that image of Yahweh.
Sitting this morning with my pen in hand, jotting thoughts into a book that no one will ever read, (at least not while I’m still breathing), I had an over-powering sense of Yahweh’s Presence. As I confessed that I had neglected my own presence with God, I was assured that God was, and always will be, Present.
I was not condemned nor convicted of any wrongdoing. Yahweh did not chew me out for my absence. I wasn’t sent to the corner for a time out.
No.
Yahweh lovingly assured me that nothing, no illness or other distraction, would or COULD distract God’s Presence from me.
I’m not going to post every day about my health. I know, I know, you’re all waiting with bated breath to find out the next tidbit of information about my new war with cancer. I will continue to update that regularly. But, this is my blog and I get to decide what to write about. And, today I want to spend a little time to talk about ‘Thinking.’
Specifically, thinking in the context of the Church.
I’ve shared some about my current journey with the community at St. Barnabas and the Episcopal Church. I have been walking with them for almost a year and a half. And, I am enjoying the journey a lot.
This morning I was talking with someone who has been a regular at the Sunday morning Bible Study that I help out with. She shared that she had never attended any kind of Sunday School before. For whatever reason, they never interested her. This study, though, seems to have piqued her curiosity. She stated that what I bring to the study is a desire to make people think. As we continued to talk she mentioned that Thinking seemed to be what inspires me to lead this way. That I seem “at home” here because of that.
I thought for a second. You know, she was right. One of the things that I really appreciate about the Episcopal Church is that it is not afraid of ‘thinking’ people. It’s not afraid of questions. And, more importantly, it’s not afraid of Paradox or Ambiguity.
I think that lies at the heart of how the Church should truly be.
I have been in churches where the leadership tells parishioners how and what to think. Several years ago one pastor told us that, although he couldn’t tell us how to vote from the pulpit, if we wanted we could see him after the service and he would be happy to convey that information. The scariest part of that would have been if anyone actually took him up on it. These church leaders try to make themselves out to be the chosen oracles of God on Earth. People are expected to hear their words as Gospel. Yeah, I know, many of them pray before they speak that only the words that God would desire should come out of their mouths. At best, this is a false humility that anyone with a brain should see through. The pastor is going to say whatever was prepared, God’s words or not. The biggest problem with that is that all of the words that are spoken after such a prayer are then regarded as God Ordained. After all, God allowed them to be spoken! Right? Wrong. On so many levels that’s wrong. But, that’s a subject for another post.
What I want to emphasize here is that churches with authoritarian leadership want everyone to accept what they say as the Certain Words and Position of God. No questions will be accepted. No other opinions are welcome. God said it, (through them); I believe it, (Cause they said so); That settles it, (got no choice!).
The Episcopal Church, however, is not like that at all. While there are boundaries, as there should be, anything within those bounds is up for discussion. I am welcome to think for myself and assert my own thoughts on any number of topics regarding God, Jesus, the Church, and anything else that presents an interest to me. Perhaps more importantly, I am allowed to give others the same grace and latitude to think and believe as they are led by God’s Spirit. After all, isn’t that what this is all about? Being led by God’s Spirit? Trusting that God speaks through the multitude and not simply the ordained?
“Think” is Not a dirty word.
“Think” is a Gift from God that we are obligated to do.
I shared a few weeks ago that I will soon be joining the ranks of the Retired. After nearly 50 years working in commercial printing, I’m hanging up my computer. I will be spending more time with, well, this computer. We have been working to prepare for this. Getting the finances squared away; signing up for medicare; gloating about it to my co-workers. You know, all of the important stuff.
And, things seem to be progressing nicely.
But, as with most things in life, the things that we don’t see are the ones that tend to impact us most. We try our best to prepare for every contingency. What if the water heater blows up the day after I retire? Can we pay for a new one? Check! How about the car? Check on that, too!
How about your health? Well, I’ve got that dicey cardiac thing pretty much under control. So, yeah, Check!
What about your cancer?
Wha?!? Who?!? What cancer?
The cancer that’s been growing in your colon, dummy!
But, I don’t have any cancer!!! I eat right and exercise and don’t engage in high risk activities! I even get regular colonoscopies to make sure that nothing’s happening!
Well, you did skip a year and a half. Right? You were supposed to have a scope in 2018. But, no, there was something else going on. And, the previous two scopes had been clear. Nothing to worry about. Right?
Wrong!
This past Monday I went in for my routine, but belated, colonoscopy. I wrote a bit about it here. Afterwards, the Doc came in to give us the results. There were a few polyps. No biggie. They snip them off and we’re good to go. There was something else, though. A mass in the ascending colon. They took a biopsy and sent it to pathology. The doc, however, was pretty sure what we were looking at. Cancer.
Yesterday I received the results of the pathology. Yep, suspicions confirmed.
Not how I had planned to begin my retirement. Hell, not in any plans for anything at all! But, there you go. The things you don’t see are the ones that can derail you.
What now?
Today I go for a CT Scan to see if this bugger has spread. Hopefully, no. We have hopefully caught it early enough that it is self-contained. If it has not spread, then next week I meet with a surgeon to go over how they will remove it. The best case is that they will take it out and I will live happily ever after. The way things are going, though, I’m not overly confident.
Right now I am consumed by conflicting emotions. I don’t know what I feel. I don’t know how I SHOULD feel! I know there are folks out there who have experienced exactly what I am. I don’t want to be a whiner and do the whole, “Woe is me!” thing. Especially when you are dealing with far worse.
But, we each process things in our own way.
My way is going to be to process it here. I want to share this experience. Well, not SHARE it. I can assure you that you do not want this! I want to share my experience with you. What’s happening physically? The tests and the doc’s reports and surgery. All the good stuff that cancer patients get to have. What’s going on emotionally? What thoughts and feelings are racing around in my head…my body. It looks to be a roller coaster ride that rivals anything at Cedar Point. What is this doing to form me Spiritually? Where is Yahweh in all of this? IS Yahweh in ANY of this?
So, for the next little while I’m going to write about these things. Sure, I’ll still write the other stuff, too. But, this is important right here; right now.
I invite you to come along with me on this journey! Lord knows that I can’t walk it alone. Your company is appreciated. I also encourage you to share this and invite others to come along. This is part of our shared human experience. So, Please, share on your social media, at the dinner table, with co-workers…anyone and everyone.
Hopefully, in a little while I’ll be able to share with you OUR victory over this thing.
Sorry I didn’t get to post anything yesterday. I was a bit, er, well, indisposed. You see, it was time for my quinquennial colonscopy. YIPPEE!!! What Fun!!! What Joy!!!
Why quinquennial? Well, about 15 years ago I had a routine, “You just turned 50. So, it’s time for a scope,” thing. The doc found and removed a couple of polyps. Apparently, that is an automatic advancement to the high-risk queue. So, instead of a routine once-a-decade check, I get to go every 5 years. Lucky me.
Me being Me, however, I skipped my last one. After all, the 2 in between had shown no new polyps. No worries, then. So, even though I was due in 2018, I waited til now. We’ll see if that was a good thing some other time. For now, it is what it is.
Anyway, (I always imagine Ellen crossing her black and white saddle shoes when I write that), Sunday I spent prepping for the procedure. Now, I don’t know how many of you have had the pleasure of this experience. If not, well, you have something special to look forward to. Basically, you get to take some kind of hellish liquid that flushes your system so that the Doc can get a nice, clean view of your colon. I’ve done this a few times before. So, I wasn’t really expecting too much trouble. Expectations aren’t always realized. I began the process about 6 P.M. Sunday. After about an hour things seemed to be progressing nicely. At least, according to plan. Shortly after that optimistic assessment, the nausea kicked in. I gotta tell ya…I don’t remember that last time I was that sick. Both ends. Not fun. And, in the midst of this I finally found out what time I was to report to the facility for the scope. I had planned on an early morning event because Cleveland Clinic’s MyChart told me that it was scheduled for 6 A.M. Well, that was wrong. The actual time was to show up at 11 A.M. for a Noon procedure. Ok, I’m sick. I’m prepping for an early morning scope. I find out that it’s going to be much later.
I went to bed.
So what if Jaylo was on. It was time to sleep.
Well, I got up yesterday feeling much better, thank you very much. I started the last installment of the prep at 8. Thankfully, I didn’t have a repeat of the night before.
We got to the facility on time and waited. My doc was already 30 minutes behind schedule.
This just keeps getting better and better! Right?
Eventually, they took me back.
Versed. What can I say? It’s the best medication ever invented. It, alone, almost makes these trips worthwhile.
Once the Versed began it’s miraculous work, it was time. I swear that every gastroenterologist should be required to say, “Up Periscope” when they begin a colonoscopy. It would be so appropriate.
After the doc finished violating me, I was wheeled back to post-op until I could stand up and the room wasn’t doing cartwheels.
How did things turn out? Well, you’re just gonna have to wait on that. After all, I’m gonna need a topic for another post!
People keep saying that “Life is a Journey”! The object being that we should savor the moments as they come to us. “Stop and smell the roses,” they tell us. It’s all part of the “journey.” To be sure, I really like that metaphor. It clears my head of any illusions that I have somehow made it to some terminus or completion. There is always another step to take; another rock to step over. Along the way there are people, places, and events that affect us. Some for the good. Some for ill. In either case, our journey continues, helped or hindered, until we walk on from this world into the next.
Julia Cameron has been one of those people who has been a boon to me on my journey. Many years ago I came across on of her 40 odd books entitled, “The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity.” The book is like so many others the have been written to help creative people do what they are called to do…Create. Julia’s book arrived in my life at a time when I was struggling with my own creative direction. I am a musician. Have been for nearly my entire life. I spent a lot of time in various bands playing all kinds of music. From garage parties to venues seating thousands and everywhere in between. However, at a particular point in my life, I noticed that the music had gone. Just up and disappeared. I don’t know where it went. Maybe someday I’ll find it again. I did find something else, though. When I was in seminary I found that I could put words to paper. Not just jotting random characters to fill page count requirements.I could mold and fashion them. I was what some people call an aspiring Wordsmith. So, I wrote. I wrote papers and essays. I began this blog. I journaled as part of my daily devotional practices. But, I was also unskilled in the craft of writing. I wasn’t sure where the inspiration for consistent writing came from.
Enter Julia’s book!
It appeared at the right time. Julia took me by the hand and led me forward until the weeds cleared a bit and I could begin to make out the path ahead. So, first of all… Thank You, Julia! Your words helped to prod me forward on this Artist’s Way. I hope that I can continue treading on it until my feet grow too weary to carry me. Then, I will crawl until my hands and knees give out.
There are still times, though, when it seems that the words are gone. I look for that Creative Stream that courses through the Cosmos so that I can dip my toe into its living waters. Yet, it is nowhere to be seen. Those are the days when I must press on anyway. Pull out the machete and hack at the brush and weeds to find my way forward. One tool that I have developed to do that is called, “Letters to Julia.” During my morning quiet time I purpose myself to write in my journal. My goal is to fill at least three pages with whatever comes to mind. Most mornings are filled with reflections and prayers. My deepest thoughts, fears, and joys find their way to these pages. But, on those days when my brain is foggy or I am unable to put to cogent words together, I write a letter.
Dear Julia… I begin. Then, I tell her what’s going on in my life. I share some of my thoughts and concerns. I tell her about the weather in Northern Ohio. Nothing is out of bounds. And, the words begin to come. First, a trickle. Then, a small rivulet. Eventually there is a stream flowing from my heart, my mind, to my pen, and then the page.
After I walk on from this world, whoever may read the journals that I have filled will find many letters to Julia. She has been an ever present ally, mentor, inspiration, and friend on my life’s journey.
