I was going to post this yesterday. But, I ran out of time. Kinda like so much else last year.
Goodbye, Old Friend! You came to us with a shout of gladness, Clad in diaper and sash.
Quickly you grew in harmony with the world around us. From infant to child. The green shoot echoing as it pushed through the frost.
You blossomed into a young adult. Full of promise; growing in Strength. You worked among us and shared the fruit of your labor. We all ate and were satisfied.
All too soon, we saw white, like frost on the grass, appear in your hair. Like the naked trunks of trees, lines began to crease your brow.
Now, your departure is at hand. It is with profound thanks that we sing this final goodbye.
As I considered the passing of the year I couldn’t separate it from the cycle of life that we experience here. As the world around us stirs and grows from the cold of winter through spring planting. Sowing and reaping; hope and gladness. Until the circle is joined as we bid farewell to our old friend.
Today’s the Eve of New Year’s Eve. For a lot of us it’s a time to tidy up after Christmas. Take the decorations down and store them away for another year. Others may still be returning gifts or redeeming gift cards. Gotta keep Amazon busy! For many it’s just another day. Back to work trying to make sure all of the year-end accounting is completed. Then there are those who take the last few days of the year to reflect on the days now past. The days of darkness from a year ago when the cold winds whipped across the landscape. Snow and ice piled up in parking lots. Yet, with lengthening daylight came a bit of hope. Hope that was finally realized when the first crocus forced its head up through the still thawing earth. There was the return of the birds and other animals after their long winter sojourn in other places or hidden away from the forces of Nature. Hope gave way to realization of new life and green trees. Warmth seeping into the ground to rouse the seed and call the sprout from its protective shell. Soon the colors change and daylight again begins to wane. Harvest time! Gladness in the fruit of the ground! Then, the circle closes as we come, yet again, to the end.
Or, is it a beginning?
As the Cosmos cycles through birth, life, and death, so too do we. There are cries of newborns and sighs of the aged and infirm. Relationships blossom and bloom. While others get tangled in the weeds, choke, and pass into compost.
Yet, it continues.
We still hope.
We still sow and reap.
Perhaps it is a good thing to reflect. To remember things as they are and have been.
It’s hard living in a binary world. On/Off Black/White I/O Right/Wrong
For, in God’s Cosmos there are even more colors than Microsoft’s Millions and Millions. There is the space between the river above and the river below as water cascades over the stones that divide the two. In that space the water is neither above nor below. It is neither In one or out of the other. It is Between Space.
Right? Wrong? According to whom? You? Me? Someone else?
Yes, some things must fall in one or the other. Murder? Wrong! Rape? Also, Wrong! Feed the Poor? Always Right! Give a needed hug? Right, again.
We don’t usually need to make those kinds of choices in our everyday lives, though. Do we?
No, most of the time we need to decide between strawberry and grape jelly with the peanut butter on the sandwich. Neither right nor wrong.
Yet, we fight and argue over the color of the bathroom or which gas station to go to. “No! I want Yellow paint! I’ll pick it up on my way to Get-Go!” “Forget that! You’ll get Blue paint on your way back from Speedway!”
From politics to religion to whether Spam is actually food, we disparage one another. “It’s my way or the highway!” we shout.
But, what if it’s not?
Rather than Either This or That, What if life is actually filled with
“Are we there YET?” “Soon. We’ll be there very soon?”
“ARE WE THERE YET?” “Be patient just a little longer.”
We joke about this image of a child sitting in the backseat asking a parent again and again, “Are we there yet?” How often does the parent become exasperated? We see the eye rolls and the grimace when the small voice behind the headrest pipes up with that all too common refrain.
This Sunday we celebrate the fourth, and final, Sunday of the Advent season. The last purple candle in the outer ring of the wreath is lit. We call this candle Peace. The angel came to Mary to announce the Messiah who would bring Peace. Peace between God and the Cosmos.
Yet, look around. Where is Peace? Troubled minds and spirits roam the earth in search of it. Nations tremble in fear waiting to see it.
This candle with its flickering, fragile flame reminds us that we have not yet arrived. There are still a few miles to travel before we reach the destination.
“Are we there yet?” “No, not yet. But, soon. Very soon.”
I’ve never written a post that consists of bits-n-pieces of happenings and stuff. So, this is a new adventure for all of us! Yippee!
I’m currently on vacation from work. I had quite a bit of time to use up before the end of the year. I like taking time now. It gives me a chance to finish Christmas preparations at a pace that helps me remain sane. I finished shopping, the house is decorated, and cards have been mailed. All I have to do is wrap a few things. Then, Bring it on!!! I’m ready!!!
It’s been an exciting time for writing posts for this blog. Views have been consistent. While I would like to see followers and comments increase, I know that all things happen in their own time. I need to keep trying to produce content worth your time to read. If any of you who actually do take the time to read what I post, how about dropping me a line in the comments to let me know what you think? I don’t bite. At least not too hard. And, it would be good to know who’s actually out there.
I’ve written a bit about my journey at St. Barnabas Episcopal Church recently. I started attending there regularly a little over a year ago. Since that time I’ve met a lot of people who truly want to follow Jesus. And, not just with lip service. They take seriously the statement that God loves Everyone…No exceptions. Since last June I have had the privilege of leading a weekly Bible study. Few people come to it. I think partly because it’s before the worship service and many have kids to get ready. Plus, it’s early on Sunday morning. But, those who have been coming are excited about it. It’s not your typical study. I don’t follow a curriculum. Nor, do I pretend to be a teacher. We use the readings from the lectionary for that particular Sunday morning. Then, we discuss what we read. We ask questions of the text. We question God about what was written. Why was it written? Who wrote it? When was it written? To whom was it written? We don’t teach morality or politics. We talk about the text. In leading this way I hope to help folks learn how to read and listen to the Scriptures with a critical mind. We push back on some of the popular ways that the Bible is used as a weapon. Or, how people try to pawn of their certainty that the Bible says this or that. It has been a fun journey so far.
Speaking of St. Barnabas… Tomorrow, Saturday the 21st, we are having a special service for those who may be grieving or may have suffered some loss. This is difficult at any time. But, during the holidays loss may be even harder to deal with. So, we are offering this time to reflect, to pray, to walk a labyrinth, and to share our grief with God and one another. Jesus gave a commandment that we are to love one another. This is just one more way for us to flesh that out.
Well, that’s about all I have right now. Let me know what’s happening with you in the comments!
Spirituality is something that is embedded deep in my bones. I have no idea why this is so. Lord knows I’ve tried my best to leave it all behind. The toxic theology that pawns itself off as Real True Christian almost fried me. I could no longer agree with that worldview that states all thing human are totally depraved. The idea that there is no redeeming characteristic AT ALL in the Cosmos is a fatal flaw in that closed, religious mindset.
I turned my mind to think critically about religion, theology, Holy Writ, and what some call spirituality, (whatever that means). I saw the inconsistencies and contradictions that seem omnipresent in all of those things. So, I tried to leave it behind as a relic of a bygone era before what was considered Supernatural became routine science. I began to listen to the voices of the Enlightenment. The collected voices of those people were raised up in a chorus that sounded out the harmony of the Human family. The striking melody of Human Reason cut through the Cosmos. We were on our way to Perfection at last! The Mind was lifted up on a pedestal where all could see it and bow before its magnificence. A whole universe of possibility opened up before us. Of course, two world wars and the real possibility of nuclear annihilation tempered that idea a bit.
I noticed that a version of this had birthed itself out of the Christian faith. It was named Progressive Christianity. “Wow!” I said. “Rationalism married spirituality and Poof! Look at what came out!” I was excited. Things were looking up. A theology of the Kingdom of God developed that stated that we, the Church, are the Body of Christ. We are to work for the same things that Jesus did. We are tasked with welcoming the ‘Other’ and caring for the widow, orphan, and stranger. And, eventually, we will see the realization of God’s reign on Earth! Yay!!!
But, even this seemed to lack. It looked like the same view that came out of the Enlightenment. That somehow or other, the trajectory of the Universe is bent toward justice. That’s a really nice thought. I do like that idea. A Lot.
But, my eyes tell me a different story. All over the world I see war, hate, distrust, greed, death. There seems to be something innate in the human character that simply drives us to the most abhorrent actions that we can imagine. And, no, it doesn’t look like things are improving.
There MUST be another way, I thought.
So, I sat. In silence. Listening. For hours and days.
Slowly, I noticed changes in the way I looked at things. I no longer saw things in a closed system like those Real True Christians seemed to love. Life, and God, cannot be reduced to black and white. There is a whole rainbow of colors that lie between those poles. I found that God is a really, really Big God Who cannot be stuffed into those decorator boxes that Real True Christians carry around.
I also found that the Progressives miss the mark as well. Their idea of the Kingdom of God opening up before us as we do the work lacks the Spark of Life that actually identifies the Kingdom. To simply reduce God’s purposes to humans continuing the outward work of Jesus is just as anemic as the RTC view of God-In-A-Box.
So, what other possibilities are there?
“In the beginning the Cosmos was empty. And Ruach Elohim hovered over the waters.”
Ruach Elohim. The Breath of God. Hovering. Seeding God’s Good Grace into the waters. Order growing out of Chaos.
That is the missing piece. Yes, the human heart is capable of creating horrible things. We all know it. We all see it every. single. day. And, no change of philosophy or theology that pits human will against the darkness in that heart will change it. Not possible. Been there; done that. But, when the Breath of God blows, chaos is calmed. Life germinates and flourishes. Hope pushes up through the fertile soil of the soul and metamorphosis is possible.
I do think that we all are capable of feeling the gentle breeze of God’s Breath as it hovers above the chaos. I have hope that God will one day fulfill the promises made so many years ago. Promises of peace, justice, life, and Love. But, it won’t come through human effort alone. Yeah, there must be effort on our part. We must be willing to be open to transformation. Most importantly, though, we must be open to the voice of the Breath of God.
Look! The breakers pound the shoreline into submission, Creating sand that a child forms into a castle, Complete with ramparts and towers where archers Fire their arrows and bolts at the advancing enemy.
Look! The hungry person takes bread from the baker! No money exchanged, the baker raises the alarm. Stop! Thief! The hungry person cast into chains and taken From family, friends, life.
Look! The rich person snaps fingers and servant scurries. The rich person nods and gold moves from one rich person to another. The rich person pays the officer who scatters the poor who hold hands out. The rich person closes the curtains. Cheers!
Look… Ancient stories tell of the Breath of God Hovering over the deep, Settling above the chaos. Order from disorder; life from emptiness.
Look… See where the Comforter hides For we cannot see this One anywhere. Where is the Breath of God? Chaos reigns in the depths of human hearts.
Look! O Breath! See the ruins! Behold the smoke and fires burning!
When… Will You calm the chaos that reigns? Will You breathe new life into these bones of death? Will You comfort?
This morning as I sat in the quiet of my office, candles casting a soft luminance across my desk, shadows quietly dancing to the movement of the flames, an image formed in my mind. The image was of a man wearing a robe with gold woven into it. He was leading a procession down a street. There were some others wearing similar robes. Someone carried a banner like a flag. Many people followed in the train of these men. They appeared to be full of joy, singing together.
I wondered at this for a moment.
Then, I realized that I recognized these people. They were walking away from a church that had at one time been a place where the Holy Spirit was alive and active.
But, something happened to change that.
The people created boxes. They were pretty boxes. There were green ones and red ones. Some purple and still others yellow and blue. The people I saw marching down the street each held one of the boxes.
“What’s in those boxes?” I asked.
“Why, God, of course,” came the reply.
My forehead furrowed as I looked on, perplexed. “Those boxes are awfully small,” I said. “How did they get God into those?”
The answer surprised me.
“All of those people shrunk God so that God would fit!” the voice said. The tone was like a person stating something so obvious that the question was just silly. “They have each imagined God as a small, parochial deity that can only do certain small things. The God of their imagination cannot accept anyone who has not prayed a certain prayer in a very certain way. This God is not capable of loving the many and diverse people and creatures of the Cosmos. Only people who look like them are acceptable to their God. These people have very strict rules about what their God is allowed to do. God must be able to fit inside of their small imagination. So, naturally, this God must be small enough to fit in the boxes!”
As I sat there considering what I had just seen and heard, I could not help feeling sorry for those people. They had created a god that fit their own idea of what a god was. This god is impotent. It is incapable of expressing divine love because it is constructed out of the paper mache of the human mind. It really is sad.
I can understand it a little, though. If we allow God to exist outside of our little boxes then God might just do something we don’t expect. God might surprise us with the vastness and ferociousness of Divine Love. We might even find ourselves changed! Our hearts and imaginations might become vast and ferocious as well. We might find that we are compelled to Love Others. If we’re not careful we may find ourselves caring about the Cosmos like it was our very own backyard.
Awakening, the dawn yet hours away. Eyes closed, yet wide open as I search for You. Ears alert to the sound of Your feet shuffling toward the veil. Will You draw it back today? Will I feel the warmth of Your Presence as You enter my world?
Only the slight sound of Wind against the windows. Otherwise, silent.
Wait. Patience. Endure. These are the creatures that inhabit the Cosmos! I see them with my eyes and hear them with my ears Every moment. Every day.
When, my Friend? Shall we walk together and speak of things long gone? Perhaps, those yet to come. Yes. That would be appropriate. Where shall we go from here?
We speak of the Love that God has laser focused on us and the Cosmos. Jesus, we say, pursues us as a Lover. We are, in most of our imaginings, the object of God’s Love. God is the Subject from Whom that Love flows.
” Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine,” the Song says.
” How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are doves. Your breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies. Until the day breaks and the shadows flee, I will go to the mountain of myrrh and to the hill of incense. You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.”
These are words that we imagine come from the heart and mouth of the Lover of our souls. Passionate! Lustful! Erotic!
We see this Love as originating and flowing from Heart of God primarily in one direction. Yeah, we say that we love God. Why? Well, because God first loved us, of course. Then we try to explain how much work we do for God because we love God. Didn’t Jesus say that those who love Him would obey him? Our expression of love devolves into doing stuff.
What if we were to actually love God AS God loves us?
What if we take the place of Lover with God as our Beloved?
Then would we not chase God? Consciously? Passionately?
We would say to God,
Awake, north wind, and come, south wind! Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread everywhere. Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits.
Would we not be like the Beloved in the Song?
All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him. I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves.
Could we even imagine saying to God,
Under the apple tree I roused you; there your mother conceived you… His left arm is under my head and his right arm embraces me… My beloved thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him…
This is the language of Love. This is the language of Relationship. Lustful? Yes! Erotic? Absolutely!
Let us shed our prim and proper sensibilities. We must not allow desire to be stuffed in a neat, little Victorian box where it lies stunted and impotent.
If God is indeed the Object of our Love, Express it! Live It! Embrace it!
