Category: Prayer

It’s Grace…All The Way Down

Published by mhelbert on February 19, 2020

The name of this blog is “Breaking the Chains That Bind.”
I chose that name for a reason.
Many folks are bound up in all sorts of chains.
Chains of tradition, patriarchy, theology, and expectations are just a few.
I try to talk about these from time to time in order to, perhaps, open a small crack of hope for those people. Maybe, I can hand them a key that will unlock the chains.
Other times I pull out a blade that can cut through the chains as if they were made of silk thread.

Today I want to look at something that I find all too often.
It derives from an insidious lie that has been poured into people’s hearts and minds for way too long.

Here’s how it usually presents itself.

Person 1: Hey! How’s everything?
Person 2: Not bad. You?
Person 1: I’m good. Although, I wish that I could find time to pray.
Person 2: Yeah, I hear ya. “Read your Bible, Pray everyday and you’ll Grow, Grow, Grow.”
Person 1: I know! I’ve been really convicted about this ever since Pastor brought that message about Paul writing, “Pray without ceasing.” I mean, who really does that?
Person 2: I know that I can’t. I guess that I just don’t have enough faith or something.
Person 1: Me too. I feel like a complete failure in the Christian life thing. I can’t even manage 10 minutes a day consistently.

I could go on. But, I think that you get the idea.
We are told time after time after time that unless we do certain things, like pray, in a specific manner we are something “Less Than.”
Less than committed.
Less than faithful.
Less than a true believer.

We are told that we are weak.
We are told that we are a failure.
We are told that if we don’t do everything that we are told by fallible people then God will be ever-so-pissed at us.
Shame on you!!!

The reason that I’m writing this today is to share a little secret with you.
Shhh!!!

God doesn’t care.

Whoa! What?!?
What do you mean God doesn’t care?

C’mon! Do you really think that God sits around with a scorecard to keep track of your prayer life?

God does care about you, though.
God cares that you have an abundant life.
God cares that you love your neighbor as yourself.
God cares that you care for the “least of these.” Your sisters and brothers.

And, yes, God cares when we spend time in God’s Presence.

But, keeping track of minutes and seconds?
No, not on God’s radar.
God knows that we have difficulty with this.
God did become one of us, remember?
So, God gets it.
That’s why God has provided grace for us.
Grace to desire God’s Presence.
Grace to follow in the footsteps of Jesus.
And, yes, even grace to pray.

God is faithful in this.
I know because there are days when for one reason or another I can’t find my way to that quiet place where I sit with God and we share our hearts and minds with one another.
And, God is gracious.
God is not pissed.
God’s desire is not to coerce us nor punish us because we don’t live up to the expectations of some preacher or writer or whatever.
God’s desire is simply to “Be” with us.
And, through God’s grace, we can also find a desire to “Be” with God.

So, be nice to yourself!
Don’t concern yourself with living up to someone else’s idea of spirituality.
Let God’s own Good Grace draw you gently into God’s Presence.

Leave a Comment

Joy

Published by mhelbert on February 17, 2020

Yesterday morning I went to St. Barnabas, led a Bible class, and went into the sanctuary for the service.
Nothing unusual in that. That’s pretty much been my normal Sunday morning practice since last June.
I walked in and found my seat. Yes, we all have “our” seat, “our” place on the pew. And, heaven help that person who sits there before we get in! Don’t deny it!
“My” seat is at the back of the sanctuary.

The service began as it always does. We stand for a hymn while the priest and acolytes walk to their places at the front of the church.
A couple of prayers were offered. Then we sat down to listen to the readings that were selected for this particular morning.

As I sat there, I gazed around at the people who were all sitting in “their” seats. Their faces were all pointing toward the lectern where someone stood, reading words from our Holy book.

My heart became suddenly light.
Joy welled up within me as I watched these people.
Around 150 people had chosen to come here.
They chose to spend their time on this gloriously sunny morning in February together!

Later in the service as I knelt by the altar rail to receive communion, as the host was on my tongue, I looked back out over all of those people.

I smiled.

I thanked God for all of them. Every child. Every woman. Every man.

Why, I wondered, had they chosen to come here?
Why St. Barnabas and not St. Mattress?

In the early mornings, when all is quiet, I sit at my desk and seek God.
During this time I lift my hopes, dreams, concerns, and desires to the Heavenly Dwelling of Yahweh.
Daily, I remember the people of St. Barnabas.
Our priest and leadership.
Those who serve faithfully in myriad ways.

And, I always ask Yahweh to make St. Barnabas Church a beacon of Love, Hope, and Acceptance.
A lighthouse in the storms that rage, unseen, around and in each and every one of us.

Are these many people I watched yesterday, with all of their faults and foibles, all of their wounds and scars, all of their hopes for tomorrow, a result of prayers like mine?

Perhaps.

I can’t know for certainty.

What I do know, however, is that when I sat in that place, with all of those people, I felt God’s pleasure.

Leave a Comment

Presence. Always, Presence

Published by mhelbert on February 12, 2020

I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. Yeah, I know, that may be understating things just a tad.
On top of the cancer concern I am also battling a sinus thing that has pretty much kicked my butt.

I’m not asking for sympathy or anything.
It’s simply part of walking in this skin suit. We get sick. Big deal; so what?

I do want to share an observation, though.

This morning as I was taking time to sit in the silence and reflect, I realized that I have not taken time to be “present” with God. My normal practice of waking in the early hours of the morning and focusing my heart and mind on Yahweh’s Presence had been interrupted. Hacking; coughing; unable to breathe. These things can be a distraction.

Yahweh, however, had still been Present with me.

Yeah, I know all of the so-called spiritual sayings and platitudes that folks like to riff on. “God is an ever present help in time of trouble” is a favorite among the uber-spiritual.
We say that to folks who seem to struggle with their problems and their relationship with God.
“Buck up, Buddie! God’s still with you! Could you pass the mustard, please?”

How many of us have taken the time to sit with that idea?
Have any of us really contemplated what it actually means when we read or hear, “I will never leave you, nor forsake you”?

To be clear, I don’t think for a nanosecond that this Presence of God resembles anything like the Cosmic Killjoy who is just watching, waiting for us to screw up.
“Busted! I know what you were thinking! Ten demerits and a trip to Hell for you!”

Nor, do I think that Yahweh is sitting behind a Judge’s bench waiting expectantly to pass judgement on everything that we have done or thought.

Unfortunately, that’s what so many of our Sisters and Brothers have been taught. God uses the same technology as Santa Claus. “I see you when you’re sleeping. I know when you’re awake. I know if you’ve been bad or good…”

In this picture, God is a Cosmic Voyeur just waiting for us to screw up so that we can get what we so richly deserve.
Punishment.

No, No,No!!!!

I can’t say No enough times to that image of Yahweh.

Sitting this morning with my pen in hand, jotting thoughts into a book that no one will ever read, (at least not while I’m still breathing), I had an over-powering sense of Yahweh’s Presence.
As I confessed that I had neglected my own presence with God, I was assured that God was, and always will be, Present.

I was not condemned nor convicted of any wrongdoing.
Yahweh did not chew me out for my absence.
I wasn’t sent to the corner for a time out.

No.

Yahweh lovingly assured me that nothing, no illness or other distraction, would or COULD distract God’s Presence from me.

Sit with that thought for awhile.
Please.

Leave a Comment

In The Stillness Of This Hour

Published by mhelbert on January 22, 2020

Back in the days when I followed a rather narrow, evangelical theology, I was what we called a “Worship Leader.”
For those not indoctrinated into that culture, a Worship Leader is the person who ~~performs~~, leads the church congregation in music and praise before the main speaker comes on to deliver a ~~sermon~~ lecture.
This person is essentially the warm up act before the headliner comes on stage.

When I had that job I did try to do what everyone thought we should do. That was to “invoke the Presence of the Holy Spirit.” Through music, prayer, and sometimes testimony, we sought “God’s Face” and “prepared our hearts” for the soon-to-be-delivered Word of God.

It was all very holy and, you know, uh, holy.

There were moments when it did seem as though God had condescended to join our little gathering. These occurred, not when the person leading yelled, “Hallelujah!” loud enough. Nor did God show up when someone or other began rambling in unknown ‘tongues.’ “Leaping and dancing and praising the Lord” didn’t usually attract the attention of the Lord of the Cosmos.

No.
In those rare moments when it seemed that time was suspended and you could reach out and touch the Holy One, silence reigned.
It was when we closed our mouths and put our emotions back in their storage unit that the Ineffable Presence of Yahweh walked among us.

I was reminded of this as I reflected on the time we shared last night at St. Barnabas. We began to learn how to be still. Sitting silently; expectantly.
It was a good time. At least, I thought so. And, no one else complained. So, I’m going with that!

There is one song that I remember from my days of standing on the platform with a guitar in hand. It’s one that I still find myself singing to myself as I sit at my desk in the wee hours before old Sol raises his head above the Eastern horizon. While I know that this song, nor any song, can invoke God’s Presence, sometimes a song can touch a part of our own heart and mind to focus our attention and help us be intentional about God in that moment.

Here are the lyrics to that song.
If you want to hear it, I’m sure that Google or YouTube can help you out.

In The Stillness of This Hour

In the stillness of this hour
I worship you my lord
Singing holy is the lord on high
In the quiet of my heart
I sing this song of praise
Crying holy is the lord on high

And for all of my days
I will bow down before you
Giving glory and honor to your name
And for all of my life
I will worship and adore you
Crying holy is the lord on high
Singing holy is the lord on high

Sit. Settle. Stillness. Silence.
See God.

Leave a Comment

Happy Thanksgiving!

Published by mhelbert on November 28, 2019

To all who celebrate Thanksgiving…

May your day be filled with joy and peace.
May those around you bring you comfort.
And, in these things may we be thankful.

Also…

May you be safe.
If the stress and pressure mounts,
May you find a peaceful place where your heart may be quiet.
For soon enough the day will pass.
Then, we may be thankful.

Blessings to you all.

Leave a Comment

Mindfulness and Presence

Published by mhelbert on November 21, 2019

I wrote a couple pieces recently that touch on the idea of a person being Mindful or Present to the Spirit of God at various times.
I wrote about being Present in Prayer Here.
Celebrating the Liturgy with Intent Here.

Mindfulness, as I wrote, is nothing new. Nor, is it limited to any one faith or belief system. It’s a way of seeing and interacting with the world around us in a meaningful way. Too often we simply go through the motions of life without any recognition of the fact that we are actually Alive.
And, there are other living beings and a whole Cosmos around us is many times simply missed altogether.

It’s hard work opening our eyes, our minds, and our hearts to the world around us. It’s even harder to sit with that world and appreciate it for what it is At. That. Moment.
So, baby steps are necessary.

“What? Baby steps? I’m a grown adult human being! I don’t need no stinkin’ Baby steps!”

Well, yeah, you do.
So do we all.

I already mentioned a couple areas where we can begin to engage ourselves and practice Presence.
These are ways to take Baby steps.
Little by little we can learn to be Present to God in prayer and Liturgy.
Eventually, with time and practice, maybe we can actually find ourselves immersed in God’s Presence at these times.

Another way to learn to walk in Mindfulness is to pray formulated prayers.
The Daily Office is one such type of prayer.

I must mention here that I spent way too many years in a religious tradition that thought that the only Really Real Prayer was one that the Holy Spirit magically put in your mind at the very moment the prayer was offered.
This was, “Being Led By The Spirit.”
Any other kind of prayer was wooden or rote or the tradition of mere mortals.
That kind of prayer would never “work,” (whatever that means).

However, like I wrote concerning the Liturgy, written prayers were also composed with intent. They were produced under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.
Just because something has been around for centuries doesn’t make it any less Spiritual.

That said, I was saying Morning Prayer today. Just as I have many, many times over the last decade or so. I read the Introduction and prayed the Confession. I offered the Venite with the antiphons. I prayed the Psalm and the canticles. I prayed through the readings, the Creed, the Our Father, and the other various Collects and prayers for today. I finished the Thanksgiving.

All of this has been part of the Church since the beginning.
All of these prayers and readings are designed to focus our hearts and minds on the Present Moment.
If we are Mindful and Present with the prayers and the Scriptures then we can, as today’s Collect says,
“hear them, read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest them.”

Of course, we can simply read through them Office like any other text we encounter. Many people do. For them the written prayers are just something that needs to get done, something to check off of their ‘To Do’ list.

But, when these prayers are approached with Mindfulness and an intent to be Present, they can be life giving and transformative.

Leave a Comment

A Prayer; A Confession

Published by mhelbert on November 14, 2019

Yahweh,
Fear is niggling around the periphery of my consciousness.
It forebodes failure.
Anxious that I will be found false, I hurry to my corner where my blanket lies with the big, fluffy pillow that I wrap my arms around and hold tightly to my heart.

Lord,
I sometimes wish wistfully; waiting; wanting
That I could simply sit and share quietly among the multitudes who call on You.
It would be so much simpler to get lost among those who shine far brighter than I.
Then, perhaps, the dimness of my own light would be covered, drowned and no one would notice me cowering at the edge.

Yeshua,
When I read the stories of how you ran to hide away from the masses in the early hours of the morning, I see a kindred Spirit.
In solitude with Abba we can rest secure.
It is only when the crowds press us into action that the anxiety rises like a tide driven by hurricane force winds. A tidal surge that inundates and drowns.

God,
But, that’s not how I’m wired, is it?
No, for better or worse I have been blessed, (cursed?), with a mind that can see and understand things.
I am given words and music that overflow and must be channeled in order to irrigate and nourish others.

But, I feel so inadequate.

I feel so exposed.

I feel so false.

Leave a Comment

Presence

Published by mhelbert on November 8, 2019

This morning during the quiet time that I devote to spending time with God, I noticed something.
You see, the time I have is somewhat limited. Yeah, I get out of bed early so that I can have any time at all for this. But, there are things to do and places to go.

I usually spend my time split between prayer and journaling. I say journaling, but it’s really a written extension of my prayers. And, it may be my favorite time.

Which brings me to today.

As I sat quietly, I found myself concerned about the time. Was I going to have enough time to write 4 or 5 pages in my journal? Would I be able to get everything done in time to get ready for work?

That’s when, I believe, the Holy One told me to stop.
I was not really ‘Present’ in that moment.
I was looking forward to what ever came next.

And, God wanted to spend time with me Now.

So, I stopped. I changed my course and sat quietly.
Within a moment or two I could feel God’s Presence with me.
No, it wasn’t a profound ‘Ah Ha!’ moment. Nor, was it some ecstatic experience.

I simply became “aware” of the Divine Presence with me At. That. Moment.

Now, I know the theological explanations about how God is always with us. God will never forsake us. And, all that other theology-speak that really doesn’t help.

When God’s Presence is experienced, all of those high sounding words become, well, like clashing cymbals and noisy gongs.
They are meaningless.

The idea of Being Present, or Becoming Aware, is not new. Nor, is it the sole property of folks who follow Jesus.
It is foundational to many religious traditions.

Vietnamese Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, tells a story about thisvery thing that has become transformative in my life.

Memories from the Root Temple: Washing Dishes

” Each thought, each action in the sunlight of awareness becomes sacred. In this light, no boundary exists between the sacred and the profane.”

We can find the time and ability to be Present to God, to others, and to ourselves if we are willing to do the hard work to actually Be Present.

After all, God is.

Leave a Comment

Rachel Held Evans

Published by mhelbert on April 26, 2019

I know it’s been a while since I’ve been here. There are many reasons for that. Hopefully, I’ll be back soon with loads of new material.

Right now, however, I want to let you know about the condition of Rachel Held Evans. If you ever followed me on Facebook or twitter you are aware of the high esteem in which I hold RHE. She has been an encouragement to me and many others as we navigate the path away from toxic evangelicalism. So, Thank you,Rachel for your openness and willingness to share your journey with us.

According to Rachel’s husband, Dan, Rachel went in for treatment of an infection. She had a negative reaction to the treatment and began to experience seizures. The medical staff have put her in a medically induced coma.

She is currently still in that condition in the ICU.

Friends of Rachel have set up a GoFundMe to help with mounting medical expenses. Here is a link to that,
https://www.gofundme.com/supporting-rachel-held-evans?utm_medium=email&utm_source=product&utm_campaign=p_email%2Bbeneficiary_invitation

Also, here is a link to Rachel’s blog. Dan is using that to keep her many friends and followers up to date with her condition,

https://rachelheldevans.com/blog/health-updates

Please keep Rachel, Dan, and the kids in your prayers.

Leave a Comment

Going Beyond…

Published by mhelbert on January 7, 2019

It’s odd. This morning during my quiet time I wrote some stuff in my journal wondering about the “Why” of prayer. Why do I do it? What outcome, if any, do I desire? At the end my response to myself was, “to join with God.” Simple. No stipulations on what that should look like. Just, “join with God.” Or, perhaps better, “to be joined together with God in unity.”

Here is a post by Carl McColman that I just read that takes that idea and expands on it. Coincidence? Like Leroy Jethro Gibbs, I don’t believe in coincidence.

The Contemplative Life in Three Easy Steps

Leave a Comment