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Tag: #fear

Apocalypse: What I See

I just watched Oppenheimer for the first time. To be honest, I was underwhelmed. I mean the story was OK. And the acting really good. But, at the end I was left kinda, ‘meh.’

One thing that did touch my mind and heart was a line at the beginning. Oppenheimer was watching water drop into a pool. In his mind he saw flashes of light. The images switched between his pensive face and the special effects. Then, there was a voice over that said something like, ‘I see things that other people don’t.’ Not like the kid in ‘The Sixth Sense’ way of seeing. Oppenheimer didn’t see dead people. No, he saw the hidden world of quantum physics. The stuff of science fiction and horror stories. And, as we all know, it wasn’t fiction…it was truly horror.

The reason I write this is not to vent my anger at nuclear weaponry or the threat of mutual, global annihilation. That may be the topic of some future post. Not today, though. No, I want to write that I, too, see things that most other people don’t see. I’m sure that we all share to some degree certain insights into how life works. The liquidity of time; the touch of a butterfly’s wing. What I see is slightly different.

Over the years I’ve shared bits and pieces of my life within the religious world. From conservative Evangelicalism through the desert of nothingness to where I am today. I’m labeled Episcopalian. That’s just a label. Kinda like I root for Manchester City in real football. I root for the openness and inclusion that the Episcopal Church waters and cultivates so that the divine seed may bud and flower with the beauty of God’s love. That’s all good. However, it doesn’t reveal the reality of things. True Church is the embodiment of Messiah Jesus in the world. It doesn’t necessarily explain the world. It does offer tools with which to explore it.

I’m truly a contemplative. You can google that if you want. Check out the examples that you find. Even the wiki thing may prove helpful. That is if you’re interested. To me, I see the reality behind the curtain. In biblical studies that’s called ‘Apocalypse.’ To reveal.

Right now we live in a chaotic world. It’s not just a U.S. thing. It’s global. Lot’s of folks are on edge. Even a friend who is a spiritual stalwart shared that she’s afraid.

I see John the Seer’s many-headed beast coming up out of the sea. In that story the beast was Rome. In mine, it is the many-headed beast of the systems that run rampant over the earth. It demands to be bowed to and worshiped. Those who refuse are devoured by the fearsome maw on one of its heads. And we fear. Our fear is our felt reality. We don’t know who will be the next victim of its seeming unlimited power. A power given it by the Great Dragon who exists from the beginning of time. A beast in its own right that controls this beast. Yet, it doesn’t care about the beast. In its great anger simply wants to destroy. The beast is simply a means to that end.

I look behind the curtain and see that which few see. There I see a great light. A prism of colors streaming from it. There are myriad creatures that sing with a great voice. The voices are like the roaring of the sea, yet like the whisper of the summer breeze. They all sing in their own voice, yet they are in close harmony. They sing the praise of the One Who sits in the light. The One Who is the source of the light.

I see also thousands upon millions of people. They stand with heads bowed and beat the breasts crying out, “How long? How long must those upon the face of the earth suffer under the feet of the Dragon and its beast?”

I hear a voice. A quiet voice. As John wrote, a voice “of a lamb which was slain.” I contemplate on that. What lamb? Why a lamb? The voice tells me that this lamb is the One Who was slain by the first beast that was Rome. By His death and His blood He redeemed from death all who were under the foot of the beast.

The beast that I see is not Rome. Nor is it any particular government. I wrote that this beast is the world systems represented by its many heads. From its many mouths it speaks lies and creates fear. A deadly, paralyzing fear. For the Dragon knows that those who live in fear are already his. “Fear is the mind killer,” the Bene Gesserit say. It’s far more than that. Fear is the soul killer. It is the life-ender. It is the prison where the worshipers of the beast are held captive.

John’s vision tells readers that the Lamb and the white-robed army wage a great war against the beast and its followers. We call this war Armageddon. John saw the heavens opened and One on a white horse ride out to meet the armies of the beast. The armies of heaven were arrayed in white linen. They, too, rode white horses. The armies clashed and there was great bloodshed. The beast and the Dragon were thrown into a lake of fire. The ungodly, unholy reign of the Dragon and its minions was ended.

In my sight, I see things differently. There are no white horses and riders. No armies form up to wage bloody battle. No, I still see the Lamb enthroned at the right hand of the Father. He gazes at the Father and says, “Abba! These are all in bondage to the beast and the Dragon. Let my blood be for theirs!” And, it was so.

The beast, embodied in the systems of this world, was destroyed. The beast and its Dungeon Master the Dragon, were chained and thrown into the abyss where they were imprisoned forever. Humanity was redeemed and released!

Behind the curtain God; Father, Son, and Holy Spirit waged war. And they won.

This is done. It’s finished. Nothing more can be added to what God has already done!

What, then, is this that we experience in our real world day after day? In my vision it’s the time before the last battle of the Lamb. The battle where the weapons are the sword of His mouth; His Word. Apocalypse is timeless. Meaning that what we see is assured, yet perhaps not yet known. This is the key.

I wrote all of this because of fear. We live in an unsettling time. Chaos reigns. Wars are waged and injustice flourishes like stinging nettles in the garden. Hope seems to be gone from our lives. My vision, however, is one of hope. Nothing that we experience now is cause for fear and anxiety. The Lamb has won! The power of the Dragon has been broken! We are able to stand up and have hope that what we see and experience can, and WILL, end. Does this mean we should sit on our collective arses and complacently wait? For what? The systems to simply implode and disappear? While I don’t see the blood-soaked scene that John saw, I also don’t see the followers of the Lamb sitting idly by. They take the same sword of the Lamb and stand against the systems of hate and greed and power and lust and war. With it they, we, are empowered to stand and seize the victory that the Lamb has won.

Don’t fear! Stand up and rejoice! The other John, John the Elder, wrote, “there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.”

Those with ears to hear, listen.

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Perfect Love Disarms And Casts Away Fear

I wrote a short while ago how I’m so over the current news cycles. Not only are they biased in order to garner clicks and advertisers, they are truly skewed to generate negative emotions. Not like mine. I get frustrated and turn the shit off. On the other hand, there are a huge number of people who sit enthralled by the latest headlines of shootings and war and politicians’ lies. They want to know why these things are happening so they turn to any source that can provide them with some kind of solace. Even if that means diving into the sewer that is Q-anon or the Chans. Even idiotic conspiracy theories are better than nothing when it comes to explaining the world.
Why is this? How is it that normally rational human beings turn to nonsense dressed in satin and lace? I have a theory.
Fear.
Ok, it’s not so much mine. Nor is it a theory. It’s pretty much a proven fact that fear drives people to think and do things that, under normal existence, they would never consider. This is the prime motivation that all of the news networks employ to keep people coming back for more and more bad news. That’s because fear is a great motivator. Folks live in fear for their lives, their livelihoods, and their children. Fear of losing a job or, worse, to lose status and power in the culture sends people into the streets, (and, onto the Capitol steps).
If I was an anthropologist I could likely spin a tale of evolutionary conditioning in which fear was a good thing. Fear kept our ancestors on the lookout for predators. Fear enabled them to ‘fight or flight’ reactions. Our ancient fears allowed our species to survive and thrive. Yeah, if I was that anthropologist. I’m not.
The fear that I’m talking about really has nothing to do with those old self-preservation fears, anyhow. This fear is totally irrational. I know that the main character on the TV show, Irrational, says that all people do irrational things. He’s likely right. But, in today’s world fear drives people to live in irrationality. Fear drives them deeper and deeper into the darkness where light diminishes into shadow.
I wrote several years ago about how some so-called preachers instill fear into those under their care. That is a type of abuse aimed at control. Today’s fear isn’t too far removed from that. Only now the media and political leaders use fear to control everyone within earshot. I am pointing my finger at ALL media and ALL politicians. It doesn’t matter what side of the aisle, fear is the chain that binds people. If you hadn’t noticed, the name of this blog is Breaking the Chains that Bind. That’s why I’m writing this post. We don’t need to be shackled by the cultural public fear that we’re being fed every hour of every day.
Of course, we could simply walk away and ignore it. That’s not practical, but it is possible. We would effectively need to remove ourselves from the public domain and hibernate in a cave somewhere. There’s always the option of educating ourselves about what’s going on. But, when folks are bound up in their own fearful little corner of the world, education doesn’t work. Their personal shields make it impossible for them to accept any facts that may contradict the safety of their world. No, something much more powerful than education must be used. I could claim that faith in God is the only true solution. So many powerful people, re., men, proclaim that Jesus is the Answer. However, they neglect to tell us what the question is. Jesus is touted as the Perfect Elixir for All That Ails Ya. All ya gotta do is think and believe exactly like I tell you to. (Not how I actually think and believe. Just sayin’.)
Way back in the days when the first communities of faith were getting their feet, there was a lot of reason to fear. Not these made up fears that bombard us day and night. There was the real chance that those folks would not live to see another day because of their beliefs. Many of them did not survive. They lost whatever social community they may have grown up with. Their means to earn a living was many times taken from them. Martyrdom was a real possibility. If anyone should be allowed some lee way when it comes to fear, these were the people.
They didn’t. At least not all of them. We read of Ignatius of Antioch we hear of a man who was en-route to Rome in order to die in the arena. A spectacle for Rome that would show that Rome had the true power. Yet, Ignatius is said to have written letters to others and spoken about his impending martyrdom. These sources reveal a person who was a peace.
Why?
St. John the Elder wrote, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love” (1 John 4:18).
Love.
Love is the answer to fear.
If we have love of the ‘other’ then fear of migrants or minorities melts away into vapor. If we love our enemy as Jesus, himself, taught his followers we remove any reason that they may have to harm us. (Of course, some people cannot be deflected from doing harm. Even with the Love of God offered to them.) Even with that parenthesis, our love disallows fear. Love keeps that foul seed from taking root. It’s written that love covers a multitude of sins. That’s true. Fear is one of those sins that love covers and subsumes.
I don’t know why I wrote this particular post. Perhaps, it is a timely word for some folks to hear. All I do know is that I am still working on that whole love thing myself. It isn’t perfected in me. But, I know that fear is not where I want to live. And, Love is the only way to disarm and defeat fear.

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But, The Greatest of These…

For most of us, this moment in time is a bit, well, unsettled. There is more uncertainty swirling around in the world than there usually is.
Coronavirus;
Politics;
Economy;
Find Waldo, er, Kim Jung Un.

You get the point.

We are frustrated and, if we’re honest, a bit afraid.
Not necessarily afraid of Covid-19.
We’re afraid of the uncertainty.

This is completely understandable.
Especially, in a society that prides itself on being in control and self-sufficient.
A culture where the idea of the Individual is elevated to near god-like stature.
It is disconcerting to feel alone and, perhaps more importantly, not in control.
So, yeah, I get it.

People need to vent their frustrations.
We see this in the protests over stay at home orders.
We see it in people ignoring those orders to open businesses and churches.
There is a wave of ‘righteous indignation’ flowing over us.

None of us can see the ramifications of these actions.

That’s the problem, though, isn’t it?
None of us can see…….

We can, however, see how all of this is affecting us.
I look around at the way that business and industry have stepped up to provide necessary equipment for those who put themselves in harms way to care for the rest of us.
I see the food pantries and volunteers doing whatever they must in order to help those who have suddenly found themselves in dire need of basic necessities.
Those of us who are daily putting our own needs and desires aside and staying home and practicing Personal Distancing so that those who are on the ‘front lines’ may have a chance to do their jobs, well, “Good Job!”

There are people who say that there is little to no hope for our species. Or, the world, for that matter. They say that unless drastic measures are taken immediately we will go the way of the Dodo…soon.

There are others among us who say that this is just the beginning of judgement. Soon God will appear and the whole Cosmos will roll up like a scroll and burn.

I want to take issue with both of these outcomes and any others that would follow this kind of Doomsday script.

We all have choices.

We can choose to be Human.
We can choose to let Empathy, rather than selfishness and fear, rule in our hearts and minds.
There is Hope.
If we can have Faith.
And, more importantly, if we can extend Love.

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A Prayer; A Confession

Yahweh,
Fear is niggling around the periphery of my consciousness.
It forebodes failure.
Anxious that I will be found false, I hurry to my corner where my blanket lies with the big, fluffy pillow that I wrap my arms around and hold tightly to my heart.

Lord,
I sometimes wish wistfully; waiting; wanting
That I could simply sit and share quietly among the multitudes who call on You.
It would be so much simpler to get lost among those who shine far brighter than I.
Then, perhaps, the dimness of my own light would be covered, drowned and no one would notice me cowering at the edge.

Yeshua,
When I read the stories of how you ran to hide away from the masses in the early hours of the morning, I see a kindred Spirit.
In solitude with Abba we can rest secure.
It is only when the crowds press us into action that the anxiety rises like a tide driven by hurricane force winds. A tidal surge that inundates and drowns.

God,
But, that’s not how I’m wired, is it?
No, for better or worse I have been blessed, (cursed?), with a mind that can see and understand things.
I am given words and music that overflow and must be channeled in order to irrigate and nourish others.

But, I feel so inadequate.

I feel so exposed.

I feel so false.

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