Tag: #retirement

New Beginnings; New Life

Published by mhelbert on March 2, 2023

A week ago my wife and I were trekking around Universal Orlando. She has just retired, and we decided to get away for a bit. Something we haven’t done in, oh, 40 some years. Jobs and family and stuff kept us pretty much at home except for the occasional weekend away. So, this trip was kinda special.
I took my laptop with me hoping to be able to write a bit about the trip while we there. Yeah, that didn’t happen. Besides not having any time to write, the wifi at the resort sucked big time. My computer is slow at the best of times. Add single bar wifi and, well, I could have sent letters via the USPS faster. So, that’s why I’ve been absent from here for a while.
Now, we’re home. It took until Wednesday to recuperate and get back to whatever this is that passes for normal. And, I use that term purposefully.

“Whatever this is that passes for normal.”

I retired from printing three years ago. That was at the beginning of Covid-19 and my time getting fixed up from colon cancer. Not the circumstances that I had thought would ring in the new life of “Formerly employed.” But, over the last three years I’ve tried to adjust and figure out that proverbial “New Normal.” (Spoiler alert: There’s nothing New or Normal about it. Just sayin’.) I have developed new routines and practices that help make sense of every day being Saturday. As time goes on, I’m adding some things to that in order to actually get stuff done. Like this blog.
Now, however, a new variable has been added to the mix. There are now TWO of us retired and trying to make sense of this life of non-employment. Life is never boring! I truly have no idea where the road will lead us. For sure, we want to travel a bit. I proved that I can still do the whole road trip thing. We drove to Orlando in 2 days. We drove home in 1. I’m encouraged that I can get us where we want to go, when we want to go. So, that’s good.
We also have the house that really needs some lovin’. All of those fixes and updates that have been set to the side all of these years are screaming at us for attention. There are walls to fix and paint, a roof that needs help, new windows to install, shutters to build, a garden to put in, and, of course, that grass that never stops growing. I don’t think that we’ll lack for stuff to do.
For me, besides all of the stuff that needs done, those things that my wife and I will work on together, there is the need to continue to study, think, and write. I lost way too much time while connected to the Fundagelical world. I am still trying to heal from what I would consider spiritual abuse. It wasn’t intentional, of course. While many would have viewed some of our early years as ‘cultic,’ there was no manipulation for malicious or self-serving ends by the leaders. They were, and still are, simply ignorant. That doesn’t lessen the damage done by that world.
So, I will continue to reflect, meditate, contemplate, study, and proclaim. I can do nothing else. If anyone is helped to find freedom from the chains that bind them to a false image of God and God’s people, then my work is a good thing. Besides, I find release and healing through this work as well.
Anyway, I just wanted to put something out there to let everyone know that I’m alive and kicking. I hope to reflect more on the whole retirement thing as we grow into it. I’ll also continue to attempt to speak truth to power as I see it.
If you have anything to suggest or comment on, please use the comments section at the end of this post. Perhaps, we can begin a dialog about things that will build us all up.

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Happy Milestones and A New Friend

Published by mhelbert on February 8, 2023

I have a new friend living with me. He gets to stay in my office on my desk. I’m sure that he will get on famously with Henrietta, Pickett, and Dobby. His brother, Gerald, used to live with us a lot of years ago. My wife picked Gerald up a couple days before we were married. That guy lived a lot of years and grew to about 8’! Eventually, though, he became compost. Cycle of life and all that. We haven’t named this one just yet. Maybe Gerald II, esq. That would be fun!
He, like Gerald before him, came to live with us at a momentous moment. Gerald was our first almost 47 years ago. (It doesn’t seem nearly that long. Besides, I can’t be that old!) This occasion is my wife’s birthday and her retirement. She is hanging up her stethoscope after 25 years in a neo-natal intensive care unit at one of our local hospitals. Twenty-five years of caring for the sickest and frailest of all humans. Many of these kids enter our world weighing in at a whopping 2 pounds! Some never get to go home.
Working in the NICU takes a special kind of person. The person must be focused and engaged all of the time. They have to be tender and hard at the same time. Not only to these nurses need to care for their young charges, they have to balance the fine line of dealing with doctors who don’t know half what they think they know. In these cases they truly have to be the patients’ advocate. Then there is the PR work that is necessary when talking to parents and other family. At some hospitals the parents are in no condition to care for their child. Nurses need to advocate for these children, also. Sometimes it’s hard to talk to a mother who will not get custody of her baby.
The hours on their feet, the all too infrequent trips to the lav, and many missed meals are only the physical stresses these folks need to manage. There are the hospital rules and policies that are really not employee friendly. Many times concern over this or that policy adds stress to stress. It’s truly no wonder many of these nursing professionals suffer physical injury and illness. Such is the role they choose to play. Oh, and for my wife, she has had to put up with me. No easy task.
I know that I painted this in rather stark terms. There are always the rewards of this work. When the child responds to treatment and begins to flourish. I have seen the pictures of children that my wife cared for, sometimes for months, who finally went home. The grateful mothers have sent pictures to my wife as these children turn 1, 2, or 5 years old. They are growing and learning and loving. This is the payoff for all of the difficulties that the doctors and nurses, respiratory therapists, social workers, and all of the staff receive.
And, it is enough.
So, after all of these years I say, “Happy Birthday!” and “Yay, You! It’s time to retire!”

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Nothing Lasts Forever

Published by mhelbert on December 29, 2021

I haven’t worn a watch in over 25 years. I guess, maybe, I’ll need to start. Or, not.

The past couple of years have been, well, let’s just say, challenging.
From antagonistic politics to the corona virus we have all had to make adjustments to our thinking. These are obstacles that we have had to navigate as a community. At least, most of us have tried to act like we are our sisters’ and brothers’ keepers.

Other changes have been more personal.

Two years ago I was looking forward to retirement. I spent nearly 50 years in the printing industry. The last 30 were at the same place. I had made the necessary arrangements with my financial advisor. My wife and I were preparing ourselves for the new stage of our relationship that was just 3 months away.

Then, in early February…cancer.

A routine colonoscopy revealed stage 1 cancer.
Immediately life changed. Instead of preparing for a happy transition into retirement turned into preparation for colon surgery. Those who have shared some of this journey with me know that the process did not go smoothly. What should have been a simple surgery turned into 4 surgeries and several months of unplanned-for shit. Literally.

Still, I had the end of my career to shine a bit of light on things. Even with an ostomy I could look forward to my last day of work. There was the pizza party with cake and cards and stuff that accompanied all retirements.

Then, enter Covid 19.

The last month of my time at work turned into isolation and working from home.
At that time I had not seen my coworkers for a bit over a month because of the surgeries. So, I spent the last week and half sitting in my home office monitoring things while the person who was taking my place got a baptism of fire.
April 1, yeah, April Fools’ Day, was my first day of retirement. March 31 should have been my final day at work with all the festivities of saying Good Bye and Good Luck. Instead, one day melded into the next. There was no mixed-feeling send off. I had no opportunity to really say good-bye to folks. Some of them I had worked beside for nearly 30 years. No pizza. No cake. No cards. No nothing.

Just gone.

So, why cry about that now?

Last month the owner of the company I worked for passed. He was a large person and a larger personality. Those of us who had the pleasure of working for him gathered for a final goodbye. I was happy to see so many of my old work friends. Some I hadn’t really seen since before my surgery.
Something was off, though. I felt myself firmly on the outside. I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised. After all, the only thing that we really had in common was work. And, I was no longer working. It could have been all my imagination, too. Whatever, there was definitely a schism. And, I felt it.

It seems that while we share time and experiences with others there is a very real community. Our common goals cement us into a family-like organism. We consider one another sisters, brothers, mothers, and fathers. All of those dynamics keep us coming back day after day. Then, one day, everything is changed. The family still exists. However, the one who leaves is no longer a member.
Oh, I know that some will disagree with this.
For those I can only way, “Wait. You’ll see.”

Just before Christmas I received that watch shown at the top of this post.
It’s the one I should have gotten on my last day. But, of course, that wasn’t possible. We were isolated, remember? So, apparently it sat, wrapped, in the desk of the HR manager. That is until we saw each other at a funeral and she remembered and decided to ship it to me.
(Still no pizza or cake)

So, now I guess it’s official.
I’m retired.

Gee. Wow. Yippee. Whatever.

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There’s Nothing Sweet About the Sorrow of Parting

Published by mhelbert on February 22, 2020

Juliet said to Romeo, “Parting is such sweet sorrow.”
Little did she know at the time what a great tragedy was in store for them both.

That phrase is still used today to convey hope that there will be a future return.
Those parted will one day find their paths converging in a joyful reunion.
Such is the hope, anyway.

I am finding no sweetness in the partings that lie before me.
I will be officially retiring from active employment at the end of March.
However, with cancer surgery looming large on the near horizon and at least a month of recovery time, I will be leaving my current workplace at the end of next week.

Five more workdays.
Two of those will be taken by tests for the upcoming surgery.
So, three days.

Three days to pack in almost 30 years of shared experience.

Yeah, it’s true that there are some that I work with who I will be glad to show my heels.
Not everyone gets along in any family. Right?

There are those who you know on sight, but need to check their shirt in order to remember their name.
“Hey! How ya doin’ uh, Mark?”
These are good folks, but nothing more than fellow grunts in the trenches.

The others, though.
The ones that you have laughed with over the years.
You shared in the joys of marriages and the birth of children.
They’re the ones that you would gladly take dinner to when they have need.
Friends with whom you shared their most deep and painful loss.
How do you say goodbye to these?
People who each own a piece of your heart?

I suppose that there are people who can go through their entire career and not forge bonds like these. For them, when it’s time to move on to the next phase of life they simply wave and they’re gone.

I’m not like that.
These are folks that I have spent the better share of 30 years with.
Folks that I have spent more waking hours with than my own family.
People who I love and care about deeply.

Sure, my company has graciously agreed to let me work from home for the few weeks between surgery and retirement. I am more than grateful to them for this.
So, in a way, these who are beloved will still be present with me.
But, what about their faces?
The laughter shared over a joke. Or, the eyes that suddenly open and shine with sudden understanding at the solution to a problem.
These things will be missing.
Then, when April showers come along, I will be gone.

Yeah, I know. There are ways to stay in touch. I can always go back for a visit.
Maybe, I’m just being overly emotional about this.

Sorry. I can’t help that right now.
I’m emotionally invested in these people.
Heartstrings are being pulled and stretched to the breaking point.

I hope that I can adequately thank these, my dearest friends and comrades, over the next few days.
I’m not sure that such gratitude can be expressed.
But, I’ll try.

I love you, guys.

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Brazen Self-Promotion

Published by mhelbert on January 21, 2020

Hey, all!
I’m going to divert just a tad today.
Over the years I’ve attempted to write about, well, anything at all.
Ok, I try to stay away from U.S. politics. That’s way to divisive even for me.
That was one of the main reasons that I walked away from all social media a little over a year ago. The vitriol and hatred I witnessed was too much for me. I was loosing sleep and suffering from anxiety. So, yeah. I needed a season for self-care.

Recently, though, I returned to the fray.
I am being far more selective of people and groups that I follow and interact with this time. I don’t want to end up chewing my fingernails and muttering to myself.

What I do intend to do, though, is utilize the wide influence of social media to promote my own writing. With retirement looming ahead, I am continuing to work through what I intend to do with my time. And, believe me, there are a multitude of options knocking on the door. I will not get bored!

My greatest hope is to step up with writing.
Ever since I can remember words have been important to me.
They are the clay with which I mold both statuary for aesthetics and beauty as well as the bowls and cups with which I eat and drink.
In seminary I found that I could actually write well.
Not great, by any stretch. But, I was adept at it and enjoyed doing it very much.
So, to test the waters I began a blog.
It wasn’t much to begin with. I jotted down thoughts and ideas that happened to be walking around in my brain.
Now, over 450 blog posts later, I am more intentional about things that I write.
I write with a specific audience in mind.
Yeah, I still toss out the odd poem or essay from time-to-time. That’s just how my brain works, I guess. And, I will continue to do that.

So, back to the social media thing.
I am going to use Facebook, tumblr, twitter, and maybe Instagram to post my work.
My intent is to build an audience, a tribe, of followers who will be directed to my blog. I desire that people read, follow, and share with their friends what I write.
Eventually, I hope to either morph the blog into an Author’s website, or create a new site as my home as an author.

Yes, I intend to use this blog and my social media accounts to write and promote my original content.

That said, I would not be disappointed if you all would ‘like,’ share, comment, or follow this blog and any content that I post to social media.
Yeah, this is a brazen attempt at self-promotion.
It’s awkward for me to do this.
The page is turning to reveal the next chapter of my life.
Using words to create worlds and universes are written into that chapter.
I guess that I’m asking you to join with me as I journey into the unknown.

Thank you!

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So, What’re Ya Gonna Do?

Published by mhelbert on January 15, 2020

People have been asking me, “So, do you know what you’re gonna do after you retire?”
I know that they mean well. They want to encourage me as I move into the next phase of the Journey. And, I know that they want to convince themselves that there can, indeed, be life after work. I know that because I asked the same questions to others as they laid aside the garments of labor and took up the mantle of the Retired.

To be honest, though, I’m not entirely sure what’s next. Like I told the person at Social Security yesterday as she was asking all sorts of questions, “I don’t know. I’ve never retired before.”
That’s the truth.
This is all new and uncharted territory. I don’t know for sure what’s coming next.
Yeah, I’m lining up some options. But, nothing yet etched in stone.

It might be easier if I told people what I will NOT be doing.

So, here’s a list of things that I’m sure will not happen after March 31, 2020.

I will not pack a lunch and drive to Cleveland in order to work. There will be no time clock to punch. No deadlines to meet. This may be the most significant thing that will not happen.
I will not buy golf clubs and take up that game. I do not now, nor have I ever, seen any use in chasing a little white ball around a cow pasture with a stick. Not gonna happen.
I will not plop my butt in my recliner and turn on the tube. (For those of you who may be unaware, the “tube” refers to the television. They used to use Cathode Ray Tubes to produce a picture.) The remote will remain remote from my fingers. Not gonna sit and watch the world go by. Won’t happen.
I will not buy a winter home in Florida or Texas or New Mexico. Not gonna be a Snowbird. That’s not to say that we may not relocate to a warmer clime. But, going back and forth between two properties? Not gonna happen.
I will not take up playing cards or bingo or bocce ball or any of those other activities where old folks in Bermuda shorts with black support stockings stand around pretending to be active. If at some time my physical condition should deteriorate to the point that I am forced into assisted living, well, I’ve given instructions that I should be taken out behind the barn and shot. I fully intend to spend more time at Planet Fitness than sitting at a card table.
I’m not going to put up with a batch of shit from people who think they can go around spreading that manure. I’m old now. I don’t need that from folks. Nope. Not gonna happen.
I’m not going to give up my hope in people to grow and do the right things. No, I don’t place faith in Human Nature. We have 50,000 years of experience to show that’s not really trustworthy. But, we also have example after example of people stepping up to the task of being God’s Ikons in this world. I have witnessed too many people doing right. And, I know that God has not given up on us, either. So, not gonna give up.

I know that you were probably expecting a Top Ten List.
Well, that’s something else I’m not gonna do. In fact, I have already begun it.
I’m not gonna live up to the expectations of other people.
I have never been able to do that.
Not gonna start now.

So, there you have it. A brief look at my “Not To Do List.”
I think everyone should have one of these. It may help avoid all kinds of trouble.

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And, The Fun Begins

Published by mhelbert on January 14, 2020

1971.
Ah, I remember it well.
I learned to drive that years. Keep pets and small children away from the roadway!
I started my junior year of high school that year. Rah-rah…oh, crap.
I also began a journey that I would never have thought possible.
My first job in a print shop came that year. My dad worked at Lorain Priniting Co. in Lorain, OH. He felt that I needed to have a real job. I guess full-time student didn’t count. I should really have a paying diversion from all of the rock-n-roll stuff that was fogging up my brain.

Anyway, my first position was cleaning the overhead. For those who have never been in a commercial print shop, the overhead is the ceiling, pipes, ductwork, and lights. Basically, everything “Over Head.”
Commercial offset presses used a spray powder that coated each sheet as it passed out of the printing units and was stacked at the delivery end of the press. The powder was to keep the sheets with wet ink from sticking to each other.
However, the powder was not particular about what it actually attached itself to. It floated everywhere. And, stuck to everything. Including, yep, the overhead.
The problem with this was that once the powder built up above the presses, any vibration would cause the powder to fall into the press and possibly cause unwanted spots and dirt on the final printed sheet.
The powder had also been known to become explosive when enough of it built up and a static electric charge was applied.
So, yeah. Someone needed to get out the 30 gallon vacuum and suck up the powder.
Anyway, that was, what? 49 years ago.

I had, at one time, planned to go to college after high school. I had been accepted at Malone College for the fall semester of 1973. But, I had a job in a print shop. I was no longer cleaning the overhead. I had moved up to making deliveries and there was a position on a press that was available.
Hey! Don’t judge!
I was 18 and had gas money coming in.
So, I rationalized my future and skipped college to remain in the work force.
Yay, me!
(The stupidity that led to that decision will have to wait for another time.)

Anyway, this is all a long way to say that, as I wrote in an earlier post, I am retiring from printing this year.
I think that 49 years is long enough.
It’s time to move on to a new chapter of life.

Today I went to Social Security to get that ball rolling so that on April 1 I will start receiving benefits.
Yeah, you heard that right.
March 31, 2020* will be my last day of being gainfully employed.
On the next day, April Fool’s, I will be officially retired.
The date does seem kind of appropriate.

So, here’s looking to the future.
I have no idea what it will hold for sure.
There are several possibilities that I’m currently weighing.
It will be a journey, though.
One that I hope you all will come along with me on.

*Date updated to March 31.
No, I am NOT staying until May!!!!
Sheesh!

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Change is in the Air. And, It Smells Like French Fries

Published by mhelbert on January 8, 2020

Last week I wrote that this year, 2020, is not going to be like most other years.
There are new things sitting on the horizon. If you squint just a little and tilt your head to the left a tad, you should be able to see them.

In just under three months I am going to enter the ranks of “Those Who You Used to Work.”
Aka: Retired.

I began working in the printing industry 49 years ago. For those keeping score, that’s a loonngg time ago. Little did I know then, as I cleaned spray powder off the ceiling and pipes, that I would spend my entire adult life helping to push paper through machines.
But, I have come from those first days of cleaning the overhead to sweeping floors and working in the warehouse, through helping on presses and nearly 45 years in prepress, to here today getting ready to say goodbye.

I have a lot of different feelings right now.
So much has happened during the last nearly half century. Most of it good. Some time spent in the valley. But, that’s the way life is, right?

There is so much that I would like to write about.
But, I am still processing some of this.
Yeah, I’ve been planning for this for quite a while.
That doesn’t change the feelings of anxiety and fear that lurk around the periphery of my heart and mind. It’s not until you etch the decision in stone that the reality of change begins to truly come into focus. As long as you’re talking about what’s coming it still has a fairy tale feel.
But, when you actually bite into the apple and feel the truth coursing through your veins, well, let’s just say that it’s different.
It’s real.
This is actually happening.

Yikes!

So, change is coming.

No stopping it.

We just try to not get squashed by it.

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