#thanks – Breaking the Chains that Bind

I know that I said a couple of week ago that I was back after surgery.
At that time I was beginning to feel pretty good again.
I thought that the worst was behind and that, soon, I would be back in fine stride working toward full restoration.

That was before a perforation in my bowel knocked me back down.

On Thursday, March 12, I was suddenly assaulted by an acute pain in my lower gut. I thought that I had eaten something that didn’t agree with me. So, I took some pain meds and went to bed.
Friday I awoke feeling somewhat better. At least as far as the pain was concerned. But, I was pretty weak and listless. By Friday evening I was spiking a fever. We called my surgeon about it. He sent me to get a CT scan of the area.
The scan did show some abnormality. They ordered an ambulance to take me back to Fairview Hospital where the surgical team was waiting for me.
So, at about 2 A.M. on Saturday the 14th, I had emergency surgery to repair the perforation.
I awoke from that surgery with an ostomy bag hanging from my belly.

I gotta tell ya, two major surgeries in less than two weeks tends to sap the life out of a person. I don’t recall feeling so weak and frail as I have these past couple of weeks. I’m 20 pounds lighter than my pre-surgery weight. I have little strength left. They told me not to lift anything over 10 pounds. Hell, I can barely lift that much!

The next step will, hopefully, be near the end of May when the ostomy is to be reversed and I’ll be put back together.

I appreciate all of the concern that has been expressed to my through social media and the phone. You are all good people.

Thank you!

As far as moving forward, well, next Wednesday, April 1, will be my first full day of retirement. I am looking forward to it. Who knows, maybe my life will be able to develop some form of ‘normalcy.’ (Although for me, what really IS normal?)

I hope to get back to some form of creating content here as well as some other projects that I have swimming around in the back of my brain.
It will be an interesting time, to be sure.

So, thank you again to all of you who have stuck with me on this strange journey.
I look forward to walking with you further on down this road.

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The past month has been, well, unique for me.
I began the month looking forward to my retirement looming just at the horizon. I could see the glint and glitter of my own Emerald City as the rays of the sun caressed it. The reflections dancing on the wisps of clouds that soared so high above.

Then, I have what?!?

And, the roller coaster plunged down that first hill.
Cedar Point got nothing on this one!

The weeks that followed my diagnosis have been, well, a tad turbulent.
I’ve had what appeared to be one setback after another. From suspicious spots on my liver to a failed cardiac test.
All of these things adding to the stress and anxiety that was already present.

Oh, and still trying to get all of the details nailed down for that retirement thing.

It’s been, well, interesting.

Yet, even as I sit here, still uncertain about what’s next, I am filled with gratitude.

I am extremely grateful that on that November Monday morning in 2011 that Dr. Dean Nukta was on call at Fairview Hospital. He was the person who put two stents in the main artery of my heart that was 100% blocked. He saved my life that day.
I am grateful that he is still my doctor and, when an abnormality showed up in a stress test, immediately scheduled a cardiac cath so he could determine what was happening. He cared enough about my upcoming cancer surgery to shoe-horn me in. He also oversaw this procedure. In all of the years that I’ve been his patient, yesterday was the first time that I saw him smile as he told me that everything looked great.
So, thank you Dr. Nukta.

Staying with that theme, I want to sincerely thank the entire cath team for their work.
They were professional, yet personable. They were a comfort both in their presence and their expertise.
The team in Pre/Post, especially Jackie, deserve cudos. Again, their care, compassion, and professionalism were greatly appreciated.

I want to thank all of you who have been following this continuing saga. Your concern and well-wishes are appreciated more than you can ever know.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

Of course, my wife and daughter have been pillars for me. Even though they are both battling illness, they have risen to the task of supporting me physically and emotionally.
There are not enough thanks that can be offered for them.

God, too, is deserving of my gratitude. Perhaps not for the reasons that some of you may expect. I am grateful to Yahweh for Presence. I am not some kind of holy person. I don’t walk around with my religious head up my sanctified butt.
But, I do recognize God’s Presence. If I seem comfortable and peaceful it’s not because I have some ability to rise above circumstance. I don’t. In truth, I am a real pain in the ass. However, if I can testify to anything at all it’s that God has been fully Present throughout this time.
Please don’t think that I’m saying that God is somehow orchestrating the process. I don’t believe that for a second.
God is Present in the process.
God Empathizes wholly with what I am experiencing and has chosen to walk beside me as I go through all of this.
So, yes, I am grateful to God for Presence.

I am still awaiting the outcome of that MRI I had yesterday.
That will be the final determinate as to whether I have surgery on Monday or, um, something else less encouraging.

I do appreciate you all for your support.
And, I hope that I don’t need to return this particular favor.
I don’t wish what I am experiencing on anyone.
But, if the time should come, I will do my best to walk with you.

Tag: #thanks

Perhaps, Back Again!

Gratitude