In the car for my morning commute, my mind sometimes wanders into strange and mystical places. Today I found myself considering a strange word. One that is tossed about without a second thought. A word that I think may be one of the most misunderstood, and frequently ignored, in our language.
That word is “Vow.”
Merriam-Webster defines it:
“a solemn promise or assertion
specifically: one by which a person is bound to an act, service, or condition.“
As I considered this word, I began to wonder why we use it. Some religious sects use it to bind individuals into some kind of ‘priesthood’ or other religious community like a monastery or convent. This, they claim, binds the person into service, (servitude?), for life. (Sometimes with devastating effect. But, that’s another story.)
Others swear vows of chastity until a certain time or event, like marriage. There are those who “swear off” alcohol, tobacco, or other substances that they consider harmful to their life and well-being.
Some courts of law require that witnesses get “sworn in,” vowing to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
But, my mind led me to consider those vows that one may make at a young age that are considered binding for life. Because, I don’t really think that these are either helpful or realistic in real life.
It’s been said by people way smarter than I am that the only thing that is completely constant is change. People grow. Environment changes. Opinions are altered over time. Our journey is not static by any means.
So, if as a young man I swear to abide by certain vows, when I grow older and the world in which I live moves on, I may find myself stuck between growing with the world or holding on to some words that I spoke in a different time and place. I am not talking about ‘fairness.’ As in, that wouldn’t be fair. No, I’m talking about reality.
In recent years there has been a lot of news about certain clergy abusing others. Others who are usually most vulnerable to abuse. The shame and condemnation that are felt by all involved can be horribly devastating. Here is a person who Swore and Oath, who Made a Vow! Look at what has happened!
Now, not only is the innocent victim traumatized by this and may never recover fully. But, the Vow has been shown to be false and meaningless.
My question is, why make it in the first place?
Jesus, himself, told people NOT to swear or make oaths. He said that folks should simply say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ when asked whether they would do something. Yet, we continue to insist on swearing and making oaths that there in no way can possibly be honored until death. The world doesn’t sit still for anyone.
Would it not be better to enter into a community or vocation or some other institution with intent to follow and live according to whatever conventions are in place until such time as the world turns? Then, with all seriousness and consideration be able to say, “It’s time. Time for me to move on. Time for me to move away from the temptations that plague me and deal with who I am and what I am Now called to do. And, most importantly, to be able to do that with honor and dignity. To be blessed by those who we’ve shared a short season with. To grow with the world without the shame and guilt that comes from “breaking the Vow.”
Yeah, I think that would be much better.
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