Category: Just for Fun

Thursday Musing

Published by mhelbert on April 2, 2020

First, I gotta tell you that yesterday was pretty rough.
I shared a bit about how beginning this new phase of life was, well, a tad anticlimactic.
So, I pretty much slept all day.
I do that sometimes when the melancholia shows up to play.

But, here we are!
Another day to try again.
While I’m still not feeling great, (I’m sure that the fact that my body is still pretty weak isn’t helping), I am up and actually accomplishing things.
So, that’s a good thing. Right?

There have been so many thoughts and ideas coursing through my brain over the last month that I have not been able to keep track of them.
So, let me just get some of them out there for your consideration.

Many of my thoughts have drifted toward God and what God may desire for me personally. But, also for us as a species in a rather chaotic period.
I spoke with one friend yesterday who said that he didn’t know what God was up to. But, God must be up to something Big!
I don’t know. I really don’t think so.
I wrote in another place that things like illness and disease are simply the product of evolution. They “Happen” because that’s what goes on in our natural world.
I’m all for giving God credit when it’s due. But, stating that God is using such things to get our attention or judge sin or whatever cult-du-jour idea you want to use is not only not helpful, but borders on blasphemy.
God has always, and ONLY, promised to be Present with us in these times. To that I can bear witness. God has walked with me, mourned with me, felt my pain and anxiety, and held my hand during this time of distress.
God will surely continue to do that as we slog our way through the days of coronavirus.

I am a die hard separation of church and state person. While I realize that individuals will carry their worldviews with them wherever they go, including the public square, it is dead wrong for any one person or group to impose their particular beliefs on anyone else.
Period. End of discussion.
That’s why it really, REALLY, pisses me off when I read and hear about religious organizations that think that quarantine and stay at home orders are for everyone except them. These misguided idiots think that their particular religious group is somehow “Essential” in the same way that grocery stores and pharmacies are.
Hey, Numb Nuts!
You’re not!
They endanger not only those who attend their open services, but all of the other people those folks will come in contact with.
If they truly want to embody their so-called love, they will shut their doors until this is all over.

Finally, I want to again thank all of those people who have shared their concern over my health. I really appreciate every one of you.
I do hope that I never need to return the sentiment. But, if I do; I will.

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Well, We Made It

Published by mhelbert on April 1, 2020

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life.”

So goes that old saying.
Today is supposed to be different. At least, so I’ve been told.
I officially enter the ranks of the Retired.

I don’t know.
I feel kind of ambivalent about the whole thing.
Maybe cuz of everything else that’s going on.
Cancer; surgeries; coronavirus; stay at home orders.
This is certainly not how I imagined this day would be.

But, time moves on in spite of what may be happening around us.
And, here we are.
We made it.

I’m sure that eventually I’ll settle in to a new way of living without a time clock.
Maybe I’ll even celebrate! When the restaurants open and we’re once again allowed to gather together.

I don’t know.

Maybe.

Until then, I appreciate the well-wishes from all of you.
I hope that we can remain in touch as time moves on.

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Perhaps, Back Again!

Published by mhelbert on March 28, 2020

I know that I said a couple of week ago that I was back after surgery.
At that time I was beginning to feel pretty good again.
I thought that the worst was behind and that, soon, I would be back in fine stride working toward full restoration.

That was before a perforation in my bowel knocked me back down.

On Thursday, March 12, I was suddenly assaulted by an acute pain in my lower gut. I thought that I had eaten something that didn’t agree with me. So, I took some pain meds and went to bed.
Friday I awoke feeling somewhat better. At least as far as the pain was concerned. But, I was pretty weak and listless. By Friday evening I was spiking a fever. We called my surgeon about it. He sent me to get a CT scan of the area.
The scan did show some abnormality. They ordered an ambulance to take me back to Fairview Hospital where the surgical team was waiting for me.
So, at about 2 A.M. on Saturday the 14th, I had emergency surgery to repair the perforation.
I awoke from that surgery with an ostomy bag hanging from my belly.

I gotta tell ya, two major surgeries in less than two weeks tends to sap the life out of a person. I don’t recall feeling so weak and frail as I have these past couple of weeks. I’m 20 pounds lighter than my pre-surgery weight. I have little strength left. They told me not to lift anything over 10 pounds. Hell, I can barely lift that much!

The next step will, hopefully, be near the end of May when the ostomy is to be reversed and I’ll be put back together.

I appreciate all of the concern that has been expressed to my through social media and the phone. You are all good people.

Thank you!

As far as moving forward, well, next Wednesday, April 1, will be my first full day of retirement. I am looking forward to it. Who knows, maybe my life will be able to develop some form of ‘normalcy.’ (Although for me, what really IS normal?)

I hope to get back to some form of creating content here as well as some other projects that I have swimming around in the back of my brain.
It will be an interesting time, to be sure.

So, thank you again to all of you who have stuck with me on this strange journey.
I look forward to walking with you further on down this road.

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“Think” Is Not A Dirty Word

Published by mhelbert on February 9, 2020

I’m not going to post every day about my health. I know, I know, you’re all waiting with bated breath to find out the next tidbit of information about my new war with cancer.
I will continue to update that regularly.
But, this is my blog and I get to decide what to write about.
And, today I want to spend a little time to talk about ‘Thinking.’

Specifically, thinking in the context of the Church.

I’ve shared some about my current journey with the community at St. Barnabas and the Episcopal Church.
I have been walking with them for almost a year and a half.
And, I am enjoying the journey a lot.

This morning I was talking with someone who has been a regular at the Sunday morning Bible Study that I help out with. She shared that she had never attended any kind of Sunday School before. For whatever reason, they never interested her. This study, though, seems to have piqued her curiosity. She stated that what I bring to the study is a desire to make people think.
As we continued to talk she mentioned that Thinking seemed to be what inspires me to lead this way. That I seem “at home” here because of that.

I thought for a second.
You know, she was right.
One of the things that I really appreciate about the Episcopal Church is that it is not afraid of ‘thinking’ people. It’s not afraid of questions. And, more importantly, it’s not afraid of Paradox or Ambiguity.

I think that lies at the heart of how the Church should truly be.

I have been in churches where the leadership tells parishioners how and what to think. Several years ago one pastor told us that, although he couldn’t tell us how to vote from the pulpit, if we wanted we could see him after the service and he would be happy to convey that information. The scariest part of that would have been if anyone actually took him up on it.
These church leaders try to make themselves out to be the chosen oracles of God on Earth. People are expected to hear their words as Gospel.
Yeah, I know, many of them pray before they speak that only the words that God would desire should come out of their mouths. At best, this is a false humility that anyone with a brain should see through. The pastor is going to say whatever was prepared, God’s words or not.
The biggest problem with that is that all of the words that are spoken after such a prayer are then regarded as God Ordained. After all, God allowed them to be spoken! Right?
Wrong.
On so many levels that’s wrong.
But, that’s a subject for another post.

What I want to emphasize here is that churches with authoritarian leadership want everyone to accept what they say as the Certain Words and Position of God.
No questions will be accepted.
No other opinions are welcome.
God said it, (through them); I believe it, (Cause they said so); That settles it, (got no choice!).

The Episcopal Church, however, is not like that at all. While there are boundaries, as there should be, anything within those bounds is up for discussion. I am welcome to think for myself and assert my own thoughts on any number of topics regarding God, Jesus, the Church, and anything else that presents an interest to me.
Perhaps more importantly, I am allowed to give others the same grace and latitude to think and believe as they are led by God’s Spirit.
After all, isn’t that what this is all about?
Being led by God’s Spirit?
Trusting that God speaks through the multitude and not simply the ordained?

“Think” is Not a dirty word.

“Think” is a Gift from God that we are obligated to do.

“Think” is how we emulate God whose Image we are.

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Friday Morning Musing: Letters to Julia

Published by mhelbert on January 31, 2020

People keep saying that “Life is a Journey”! The object being that we should savor the moments as they come to us. “Stop and smell the roses,” they tell us. It’s all part of the “journey.”
To be sure, I really like that metaphor. It clears my head of any illusions that I have somehow made it to some terminus or completion. There is always another step to take; another rock to step over.
Along the way there are people, places, and events that affect us. Some for the good. Some for ill. In either case, our journey continues, helped or hindered, until we walk on from this world into the next.

Julia Cameron has been one of those people who has been a boon to me on my journey. Many years ago I came across on of her 40 odd books entitled, “The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity.” The book is like so many others the have been written to help creative people do what they are called to do…Create. Julia’s book arrived in my life at a time when I was struggling with my own creative direction.
I am a musician. Have been for nearly my entire life. I spent a lot of time in various bands playing all kinds of music. From garage parties to venues seating thousands and everywhere in between. However, at a particular point in my life, I noticed that the music had gone. Just up and disappeared. I don’t know where it went. Maybe someday I’ll find it again.
I did find something else, though.
When I was in seminary I found that I could put words to paper. Not just jotting random characters to fill page count requirements.I could mold and fashion them. I was what some people call an aspiring Wordsmith.
So, I wrote.
I wrote papers and essays.
I began this blog.
I journaled as part of my daily devotional practices.
But, I was also unskilled in the craft of writing. I wasn’t sure where the inspiration for consistent writing came from.

Enter Julia’s book!

It appeared at the right time.
Julia took me by the hand and led me forward until the weeds cleared a bit and I could begin to make out the path ahead.
So, first of all…
Thank You, Julia! Your words helped to prod me forward on this Artist’s Way.
I hope that I can continue treading on it until my feet grow too weary to carry me. Then, I will crawl until my hands and knees give out.

There are still times, though, when it seems that the words are gone. I look for that Creative Stream that courses through the Cosmos so that I can dip my toe into its living waters. Yet, it is nowhere to be seen.
Those are the days when I must press on anyway. Pull out the machete and hack at the brush and weeds to find my way forward.
One tool that I have developed to do that is called, “Letters to Julia.”
During my morning quiet time I purpose myself to write in my journal. My goal is to fill at least three pages with whatever comes to mind. Most mornings are filled with reflections and prayers. My deepest thoughts, fears, and joys find their way to these pages.
But, on those days when my brain is foggy or I am unable to put to cogent words together, I write a letter.

Dear Julia…
I begin.
Then, I tell her what’s going on in my life.
I share some of my thoughts and concerns.
I tell her about the weather in Northern Ohio.
Nothing is out of bounds.
And, the words begin to come.
First, a trickle.
Then, a small rivulet.
Eventually there is a stream flowing from my heart, my mind, to my pen, and then the page.

After I walk on from this world, whoever may read the journals that I have filled will find many letters to Julia.
She has been an ever present ally, mentor, inspiration, and friend on my life’s journey.

Thank you, Julia!!!

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The God I Don’t Believe In

Published by mhelbert on January 30, 2020

Over the millennia people have tried to figure out what God is like.
They argue about this attribute or that word in order to prove that their personal idea of Divinity is the most correct in the Whole Wide World.
Systems have been contrived and erected for the sole purpose of explaining the inexplicable.
Perhaps the greatest error of all is to think that we can glean reality from ancient texts that have no foundation in our own reality. (I’m looking at you Fundagelicals!)
If God cannot be envisioned and understood within that context of our lived existence, then what good is it to even seek to know anything about this God?
It seems an exercise in self-aggrandizement.
Perhaps, it’s more appropriate to try to understand the Divine through a process of negation.
What is God NOT like?
What are NOT divine attributes?
At the end of that exercise we may have, instead of a God-In-The-Box of our own thinking, a God who has infinite possibilities to Be and Exist in an ever more complex Cosmos.

With that said…

God is NOT sitting in front of God’s computer with a finger hovering over the “Smite” key.
In other words, God does not kill. Period. God does not cause earthquakes, famines, droughts, hurricanes, tornadoes, or any other natural disaster. They’re called NATURAL disasters! They are not called SUPER-Natural disasters. What may have appeared as a divine intervention 2,500 years ago has been proven to be the result of conditions that appear in our natural world. Plate tectonics, weather systems interacting with oceans and heat from our Sun, and other phenomena are the cause. Not some kind of Divine anger.

God is NOT the cause of diseases and plagues that sicken and kill people. Again, something that our ancient forebears credited to God, or the gods, has been proven to be caused by natural agents. It is called “Evolution.” Viruses and bacteria have evolved over hundreds of millions of years to attach themselves to other living organisms in order to survive. The results are usually benign and symbiotic. Sometimes, however, they are not and illnesses result. Perfectly natural. God’s not sitting on some Cosmic throne saying, “Take that, you sinful humans!” No, if anything, God is Present to comfort and heal those afflicted by these diseases.

God is NOT a Cosmic Killjoy. God doesn’t get the Divine rocks off by decreeing that everything that could possibly be pleasurable is a Sin that God is only too happy to punish. People who find pleasure in being human, who enjoy life and love with one another, cause God to be pleased as well. For those who hold the position that God somehow cracked the code to become Incarnate, this should be no surprise. In the life of Jesus God experienced Being Human. Church people don’t discuss this too much. They’re usually too worried about maintaining control over people’s minds and bodies. But, it only makes sense that God learned about the human condition by Becoming Human. You know that fear that you experience? Jesus experienced fear. God gets it. The pleasure of human affection and touch is part of God’s own Felt Reality. Anger? Yep, God understands. Hurt, sickness, hunger and thirst are all things that God experienced through the life of Jesus from Nazareth. And, like the writer of Genesis recorded, “And, God saw that it was Very Good.”

God does NOT play favorites. This is really basic. God doesn’t care whether you are Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim, Jewish, Jain, or none of the above. All are loved and welcomed. This is the part that sectarian folks don’t want you to know, however. All are welcomed, JUST AS THEY ARE! There is no reason to change our basic selves or beliefs in order to be part of Team God. God seems to desire that we become more ‘divine’ in how we relate with one another and the Cosmos around us.

We all like to think that we are on the winning team. So, we erect boundaries to define who we are in opposition to those who are Not Us. It’s only natural, then, that we use this same idea of separation and exclusion to define God.
The problem with that is, God won’t play along with us.
God seems to be more interested in our relationships with each other, the planet, and ALL who we might consider “Other.”
Perhaps we are all part of God’s process of Creation in some way.
Perhaps we’ve got to be active in our pursuit of a World where we accept who and what we are.
We are Natural and we share in all things Natural.
In a way, we are also Divine. I think that God has somehow been wired into our DNA in such a way that we can truly be called Made in the Image of God, or Ikons of God.

Is there a new step in our evolution waiting at the door?
Are we destined to become something more like Homo Empathicus?

I don’t know.

But, I hope som

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Meet My Friends

Published by mhelbert on January 28, 2020

Ok, I’m going in a little different direction today.
I want to take a moment and introduce you to a couple friends of mine.
They lived in Southern California.
Or, maybe New England.
I haven’t quite figured that out yet.

The first person’s name is Marc.
He’s a data analyst for a consulting company.
The company does work for some Silicon Valley companies.
They help glean data and sift it in order to find trends that their clients can exploit in order to up their ad revenue.
Marc also has training in programming.

The other person is Ann.
She is a co-worker of Marc’s.
She is a math prodigy.
Numbers speak to her like music or art speaks to other people.

Marc was raised by a single parent. His father, like so many others, ghosted his family when Marc was young. His Mom worked two jobs to support them. That left Marc with considerable time on his hands while Mom was away. To keep him busy, his Mom enrolled him in Martial Arts at an early age. This gave him a community to belong to and role models that he could follow.
He also enjoyed attending and involving himself in his local church parish. He had a fairly good relationship with the priest there. He had even considered entering the priesthood before he fell in love with computers and their potential as useful tools for life and commerce.

Ann came from an abusive home. She and her siblings were continually berated by their alcoholic mother and a father who simply didn’t seem to care. Ann, as the oldest, took the brunt of the abuse. At the same time, however, she worked hard to protect and support her younger sister and brothers.
She found escape and peace in numbers. There was beauty in the patterns that they formed. Rather than being the drudgery that most kids experienced, Ann saw purpose and order. Her mind was wired in such a way that equations and formulae became friends she could count on to always remain consistent.

These two are not real people.
They are characters in a story that I began a little over a year ago.
After I completed the original draft of the story I set it on the corner of my desk.
And, there it sits.

There are many times that I considered shredding the story. It was a valiant first attempt. But, it’s really not very good. I thought that perhaps I’d just start a new project and build upon my initial experience.

However, Marc and Ann keep coming back into my brain.
The premise of the story seems sound enough. I just need to reconsider my approach.

So, with that in mind, I thought that I would breathe some new life into this tale. I’m not sure what’s going to come of it. It may still simply crash and burn.
If I can introduce these characters, though, perhaps they, like Pinocchio, will come to life and become real people.

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Monday Odds-n-Ends

Published by mhelbert on January 27, 2020

Well, as of today I have 9 weeks and a day until I retire.
That amounts to 9 more tanks of gas.
Not that anyone’s counting.

I had the great honor and joy over the weekend to help celebrate with one of my best pals in the whole world. She is, shall we say, a unique person. It’s that uniqueness that is so damned endearing!
So, to you, Keri my pal,
May you and Martin have the joy and happiness of learning to love one another.
May your days be long on this Earth.
May all of your hopes and dreams find fulfillment as you walk together in Love.
May God Bless You Both Real Good!!!

Yesterday I attended my first ever Parish Annual Meeting at St. Barnabas.
I gotta tell ya, I’m not a numbers person. They say a fool and his money are soon parted. So, by that metric, I am a fool. Or, maybe the money just realizes that it is free and can go wandering off wherever it likes. In any case, business meetings are not my forte.
However, there was an air of optimism present that was palpable.
I watched as people laughed and joked. They applauded one another and offered vocal encouragement. Everyone, (and there was a good room full of folks), shared in this moment the joy that only comes after deep hurt and conflict.
This church has gone through a lot over the last 15 or so years.
They experienced a heart-rending split in the 2000s that left the church a ragged mess. Both the building and the congregation suffered through the abuses of former leadership.
The damage was severe and the cuts ran deep.
In 2012 there were roughly 26 people attending services.
Through the foresight of the Bishop and diocesan leadership, St. Barnabas was spared dissolution.
I say foresight, because in 2019 the church had about 140 people attending.
And, this growth shows no signs of letting up.
So, there is reason to be optimistic. There is cause to celebrate.
We cannot stop here, though.
There is still much to do in order to become the people that can join with God to usher in God’s reign.
We have miles to go before the Light of Christ illuminates the World.

I have not mentioned anything about the loss of Kobe Bryant.
My thoughts and feelings are somewhat mixed about this.
Yes, Bryant was a special athlete. The talent and drive that he brought to the basketball court revealed a giftedness that most people will never experience. Those who follow are set a high bar to shoot for. Most will not make it.
So, thank you Kobe for sharing your life and gift with us all.
We are all better for having seen you.
But, I am troubled by all of the attention focused on him.
Is the loss of the other 8 people, including Bryant’s daughter, any less tragic?
All of the news sources report that Kobe Bryant, his 13 year old daughter, and seven others died.
I’m sure that we’ll learn more about those “seven others” as reports come out.
But, the message seems to be, if a person is famous they are somehow more worthy than those who are not.
Try telling that to the anonymous mom whose son just died from an overdose.
Or, maybe say that the homeless person who died alone on the street was not as significant as the multi-millionaire celebrity.
Something is desperately wrong with our sense of value when it comes to human life.

Blessings to you all.

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Brazen Self-Promotion

Published by mhelbert on January 21, 2020

Hey, all!
I’m going to divert just a tad today.
Over the years I’ve attempted to write about, well, anything at all.
Ok, I try to stay away from U.S. politics. That’s way to divisive even for me.
That was one of the main reasons that I walked away from all social media a little over a year ago. The vitriol and hatred I witnessed was too much for me. I was loosing sleep and suffering from anxiety. So, yeah. I needed a season for self-care.

Recently, though, I returned to the fray.
I am being far more selective of people and groups that I follow and interact with this time. I don’t want to end up chewing my fingernails and muttering to myself.

What I do intend to do, though, is utilize the wide influence of social media to promote my own writing. With retirement looming ahead, I am continuing to work through what I intend to do with my time. And, believe me, there are a multitude of options knocking on the door. I will not get bored!

My greatest hope is to step up with writing.
Ever since I can remember words have been important to me.
They are the clay with which I mold both statuary for aesthetics and beauty as well as the bowls and cups with which I eat and drink.
In seminary I found that I could actually write well.
Not great, by any stretch. But, I was adept at it and enjoyed doing it very much.
So, to test the waters I began a blog.
It wasn’t much to begin with. I jotted down thoughts and ideas that happened to be walking around in my brain.
Now, over 450 blog posts later, I am more intentional about things that I write.
I write with a specific audience in mind.
Yeah, I still toss out the odd poem or essay from time-to-time. That’s just how my brain works, I guess. And, I will continue to do that.

So, back to the social media thing.
I am going to use Facebook, tumblr, twitter, and maybe Instagram to post my work.
My intent is to build an audience, a tribe, of followers who will be directed to my blog. I desire that people read, follow, and share with their friends what I write.
Eventually, I hope to either morph the blog into an Author’s website, or create a new site as my home as an author.

Yes, I intend to use this blog and my social media accounts to write and promote my original content.

That said, I would not be disappointed if you all would ‘like,’ share, comment, or follow this blog and any content that I post to social media.
Yeah, this is a brazen attempt at self-promotion.
It’s awkward for me to do this.
The page is turning to reveal the next chapter of my life.
Using words to create worlds and universes are written into that chapter.
I guess that I’m asking you to join with me as I journey into the unknown.

Thank you!

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Another Messy Monday

Published by mhelbert on January 20, 2020

Yeah, that title doesn’t have the ring to it that The Bangles song did.
But, for those of us in Northern Ohio it is appropriate. The Lake Erie snow machine fired up over the weekend to spill snow and yuck over many parts of the area. Snow, slush, ice, and road spray are ubiquitous during these events. Cars and trucks find it hard to stay between the white lines and ODOT has difficulty keeping up. So, it’s a mess.
You’re welcome.

I spent a good share of the weekend catching up on some reading and study. Saturday and Sunday A.M. early I prepared for the weekly Bible study at St. Barnabas. We have been following the Revised Common Lectionary in the study since it began last June. It’s been a lot of fun digging into these ancient texts to see what nuggets can be mined for us today. If you’re ever in the area at 9 A.M. on Sunday, stop by!

Yesterday, after church, I got home and cleaned a bit. Then, built a fire because of the above mentioned Mess Maker that was happening. I sat in my recliner, (Yeah, life’s hard. I know it!), broke out my laptop and several books, and spent about 4 or 5 hours prepping for a class on Centering Prayer and Meditation that I will be leading Tuesday evening. It’s going to be a kind of Introduction to Contemplative Prayer 101.
We spend so much of our lives rushing here and there. When we talk to God, IF we talk to God, it’s usually in a gush of complaints, wants, and desires. We seldom stop. Breathe. Sit. Shut up. Listen. The prayers that we are going to learn about, and actually practice, this week are designed to give us space to simply ‘Be’ in God’s Presence.
So, for anyone who reads this and is in the area, you are more than welcome to stop in this Tuesday, Jan. 21, at 7 P.M. at St. Barnabas in Bay Village, OH.
We would love to share time with you.

This morning in my own quiet time I was acutely aware of my own shortcomings and failures. They loomed in front of me like a wall of granite. I could not see the top of the wall, nor the ends of it. The barrier seemed insurmountable to me.
So, I did what I do best.
I whined about it.
I know that I tend to say and do things impulsively that I immediately regret. I dwell on these until I have nearly convinced myself that God made a huge mistake letting me join the Club. Who would want someone like me around? Someone driven by desires and passions that are antithetical to all of the purity that the Scriptures seem to require of us.
I have been, and continue to be a failure, unworthy to tie the laces to Jesus’ Chuck Taylors.
That’s when I saw an image of God in my mind. Yeah, God is my imaginary Best Friend. Deal with it. Anyway, God’s eye had a gleam as God smiled and slowly shook God’s head. The God said, “You do realize that by My power I raised Jesus from the grave? And, that I formed a new body that He indwells to this day, right?”
I stopped. The realization that my fears, failings, and foibles simply could not be as earth shaking as my mind made them suddenly came upon me.
Yeah, I fail. That’s what I do best.
But, God’s Good Grace and Mercy are more than sufficient to lift me and set my feet back on the Path.
I God is able to do such for me, I know that God is more than capable to lift all of us.

Anyway, those are some thoughts that I have today.

What are some of yours?
Feel free to share in the comments.

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