Category: Musings

The God I Don’t Believe In

Published by mhelbert on January 30, 2020

Over the millennia people have tried to figure out what God is like.
They argue about this attribute or that word in order to prove that their personal idea of Divinity is the most correct in the Whole Wide World.
Systems have been contrived and erected for the sole purpose of explaining the inexplicable.
Perhaps the greatest error of all is to think that we can glean reality from ancient texts that have no foundation in our own reality. (I’m looking at you Fundagelicals!)
If God cannot be envisioned and understood within that context of our lived existence, then what good is it to even seek to know anything about this God?
It seems an exercise in self-aggrandizement.
Perhaps, it’s more appropriate to try to understand the Divine through a process of negation.
What is God NOT like?
What are NOT divine attributes?
At the end of that exercise we may have, instead of a God-In-The-Box of our own thinking, a God who has infinite possibilities to Be and Exist in an ever more complex Cosmos.

With that said…

God is NOT sitting in front of God’s computer with a finger hovering over the “Smite” key.
In other words, God does not kill. Period. God does not cause earthquakes, famines, droughts, hurricanes, tornadoes, or any other natural disaster. They’re called NATURAL disasters! They are not called SUPER-Natural disasters. What may have appeared as a divine intervention 2,500 years ago has been proven to be the result of conditions that appear in our natural world. Plate tectonics, weather systems interacting with oceans and heat from our Sun, and other phenomena are the cause. Not some kind of Divine anger.

God is NOT the cause of diseases and plagues that sicken and kill people. Again, something that our ancient forebears credited to God, or the gods, has been proven to be caused by natural agents. It is called “Evolution.” Viruses and bacteria have evolved over hundreds of millions of years to attach themselves to other living organisms in order to survive. The results are usually benign and symbiotic. Sometimes, however, they are not and illnesses result. Perfectly natural. God’s not sitting on some Cosmic throne saying, “Take that, you sinful humans!” No, if anything, God is Present to comfort and heal those afflicted by these diseases.

God is NOT a Cosmic Killjoy. God doesn’t get the Divine rocks off by decreeing that everything that could possibly be pleasurable is a Sin that God is only too happy to punish. People who find pleasure in being human, who enjoy life and love with one another, cause God to be pleased as well. For those who hold the position that God somehow cracked the code to become Incarnate, this should be no surprise. In the life of Jesus God experienced Being Human. Church people don’t discuss this too much. They’re usually too worried about maintaining control over people’s minds and bodies. But, it only makes sense that God learned about the human condition by Becoming Human. You know that fear that you experience? Jesus experienced fear. God gets it. The pleasure of human affection and touch is part of God’s own Felt Reality. Anger? Yep, God understands. Hurt, sickness, hunger and thirst are all things that God experienced through the life of Jesus from Nazareth. And, like the writer of Genesis recorded, “And, God saw that it was Very Good.”

God does NOT play favorites. This is really basic. God doesn’t care whether you are Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim, Jewish, Jain, or none of the above. All are loved and welcomed. This is the part that sectarian folks don’t want you to know, however. All are welcomed, JUST AS THEY ARE! There is no reason to change our basic selves or beliefs in order to be part of Team God. God seems to desire that we become more ‘divine’ in how we relate with one another and the Cosmos around us.

We all like to think that we are on the winning team. So, we erect boundaries to define who we are in opposition to those who are Not Us. It’s only natural, then, that we use this same idea of separation and exclusion to define God.
The problem with that is, God won’t play along with us.
God seems to be more interested in our relationships with each other, the planet, and ALL who we might consider “Other.”
Perhaps we are all part of God’s process of Creation in some way.
Perhaps we’ve got to be active in our pursuit of a World where we accept who and what we are.
We are Natural and we share in all things Natural.
In a way, we are also Divine. I think that God has somehow been wired into our DNA in such a way that we can truly be called Made in the Image of God, or Ikons of God.

Is there a new step in our evolution waiting at the door?
Are we destined to become something more like Homo Empathicus?

I don’t know.

But, I hope som

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Why All That Divisiveness?

Published by mhelbert on January 29, 2020

Yesterday I had a good time talking with some atheists.
Well, not really “talking.”
We were on twitter. No one can have a real conversation on that platform.
But, it can quickly get main points out there.
“Out there” being the twitterverse where all kinds of magical, (not necessarily good), stuff can happen.

Simple thoughts can become cannon fodder used to destroy anyone who dares to question your very deeply held beliefs about yourself. Or, beliefs about your beliefs.
Even those with whom we seem to be allied may turn on you with rapid ferociousness.
I don’t know, that may even be part of the thrill.
We don’t know for sure how anyone will respond to the stuff we toss out there.

This happened to someone that I follow who is an atheist.
And, this person has some very good reasons for thinking that way.
I will not be a judge.
Not my job.

The idea that we as humans should embrace pluralism was up for discussion. Apparently, some folks don’t think that people who oppose this can be rational atheists. They feel that only the religious can be anti pluralistic. So, of course, they took exception to being lumped in with the religious. In fact, they went so far as to claim that pointing out that anti pluralism can be an overall Human thing was an attack on them personally.
It wasn’t.
It was simply an observation that fundamentalists, religious or non, tend toward exclusivity. They deny that pluralism is even a possibility.
And, the observation was absolutely correct.

Some of the most vicious attacks on those who are deemed “Other” come from avowed atheists. In many cases the “Other” are religious people. Vague generalizations get made that try to make sure that all religious are cut from the same piece of cloth.
That’s the same way that many religious people view non-religious folks. I don’t know, maybe it makes it easier for their tiny minds to grasp the simplicity of certainty and absolutes.
Nuance takes way too much effort.

Anyway, as the thread grew and more people weighed in, I was very happy to see that we are surrounded by people who DO get it. People who understand that we are complex beings. Our thoughts and beliefs are like the many facets of a fine gem that refract and reflect the light creating myriad colors and hues.
This is the true human condition.
The ability to grasp the dignity of each and every person and honor them for simply being.

No, we don’t need to all think the same.
No, common belief does not necessitate sameness.
Yes, we need each other.
Yes, we must accept the failures and foibles of those who are NOT US!!!

Yesterday, I found hope in that twitter thread.
Hope that maybe, some day, our species will finally find unity in our diversity and completeness in the “Other.”

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Meet My Friends

Published by mhelbert on January 28, 2020

Ok, I’m going in a little different direction today.
I want to take a moment and introduce you to a couple friends of mine.
They lived in Southern California.
Or, maybe New England.
I haven’t quite figured that out yet.

The first person’s name is Marc.
He’s a data analyst for a consulting company.
The company does work for some Silicon Valley companies.
They help glean data and sift it in order to find trends that their clients can exploit in order to up their ad revenue.
Marc also has training in programming.

The other person is Ann.
She is a co-worker of Marc’s.
She is a math prodigy.
Numbers speak to her like music or art speaks to other people.

Marc was raised by a single parent. His father, like so many others, ghosted his family when Marc was young. His Mom worked two jobs to support them. That left Marc with considerable time on his hands while Mom was away. To keep him busy, his Mom enrolled him in Martial Arts at an early age. This gave him a community to belong to and role models that he could follow.
He also enjoyed attending and involving himself in his local church parish. He had a fairly good relationship with the priest there. He had even considered entering the priesthood before he fell in love with computers and their potential as useful tools for life and commerce.

Ann came from an abusive home. She and her siblings were continually berated by their alcoholic mother and a father who simply didn’t seem to care. Ann, as the oldest, took the brunt of the abuse. At the same time, however, she worked hard to protect and support her younger sister and brothers.
She found escape and peace in numbers. There was beauty in the patterns that they formed. Rather than being the drudgery that most kids experienced, Ann saw purpose and order. Her mind was wired in such a way that equations and formulae became friends she could count on to always remain consistent.

These two are not real people.
They are characters in a story that I began a little over a year ago.
After I completed the original draft of the story I set it on the corner of my desk.
And, there it sits.

There are many times that I considered shredding the story. It was a valiant first attempt. But, it’s really not very good. I thought that perhaps I’d just start a new project and build upon my initial experience.

However, Marc and Ann keep coming back into my brain.
The premise of the story seems sound enough. I just need to reconsider my approach.

So, with that in mind, I thought that I would breathe some new life into this tale. I’m not sure what’s going to come of it. It may still simply crash and burn.
If I can introduce these characters, though, perhaps they, like Pinocchio, will come to life and become real people.

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Monday Odds-n-Ends

Published by mhelbert on January 27, 2020

Well, as of today I have 9 weeks and a day until I retire.
That amounts to 9 more tanks of gas.
Not that anyone’s counting.

I had the great honor and joy over the weekend to help celebrate with one of my best pals in the whole world. She is, shall we say, a unique person. It’s that uniqueness that is so damned endearing!
So, to you, Keri my pal,
May you and Martin have the joy and happiness of learning to love one another.
May your days be long on this Earth.
May all of your hopes and dreams find fulfillment as you walk together in Love.
May God Bless You Both Real Good!!!

Yesterday I attended my first ever Parish Annual Meeting at St. Barnabas.
I gotta tell ya, I’m not a numbers person. They say a fool and his money are soon parted. So, by that metric, I am a fool. Or, maybe the money just realizes that it is free and can go wandering off wherever it likes. In any case, business meetings are not my forte.
However, there was an air of optimism present that was palpable.
I watched as people laughed and joked. They applauded one another and offered vocal encouragement. Everyone, (and there was a good room full of folks), shared in this moment the joy that only comes after deep hurt and conflict.
This church has gone through a lot over the last 15 or so years.
They experienced a heart-rending split in the 2000s that left the church a ragged mess. Both the building and the congregation suffered through the abuses of former leadership.
The damage was severe and the cuts ran deep.
In 2012 there were roughly 26 people attending services.
Through the foresight of the Bishop and diocesan leadership, St. Barnabas was spared dissolution.
I say foresight, because in 2019 the church had about 140 people attending.
And, this growth shows no signs of letting up.
So, there is reason to be optimistic. There is cause to celebrate.
We cannot stop here, though.
There is still much to do in order to become the people that can join with God to usher in God’s reign.
We have miles to go before the Light of Christ illuminates the World.

I have not mentioned anything about the loss of Kobe Bryant.
My thoughts and feelings are somewhat mixed about this.
Yes, Bryant was a special athlete. The talent and drive that he brought to the basketball court revealed a giftedness that most people will never experience. Those who follow are set a high bar to shoot for. Most will not make it.
So, thank you Kobe for sharing your life and gift with us all.
We are all better for having seen you.
But, I am troubled by all of the attention focused on him.
Is the loss of the other 8 people, including Bryant’s daughter, any less tragic?
All of the news sources report that Kobe Bryant, his 13 year old daughter, and seven others died.
I’m sure that we’ll learn more about those “seven others” as reports come out.
But, the message seems to be, if a person is famous they are somehow more worthy than those who are not.
Try telling that to the anonymous mom whose son just died from an overdose.
Or, maybe say that the homeless person who died alone on the street was not as significant as the multi-millionaire celebrity.
Something is desperately wrong with our sense of value when it comes to human life.

Blessings to you all.

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Ta-Nehisi Coates Writes

Published by mhelbert on January 23, 2020

I just finished reading Ta-Nehisi Coates’ novel, “The Water Dancer.” I’m not going to review it here. I found the story compelling even though, IMHO, the telling of it was lacking a bit.

There was one part of it that really did affect me. A look inside of Coates’ mind through the mind of his character, Hiram Walker.
Let me summarize…

Walker is a slave on a Virginia plantation as the Golden Age of the Virginian Gentry is waning. He happens to be the illegitimate son of the landowner and a slave woman. Eventually, he became a part of The Underground. This network of people worked to smuggle slaves into the North and freedom.
One of the chief instigators in this network is a white woman who is part of the Virginia Gentry. She spent time in the North and became enlightened to the plight of the slaves. The result was a deep shame in the system of slavery that demeaned her people and was a blight on their legacy.

Through the eyes of Hiram we get a glimpse of something that very few of us ever consider.

Objectification.
To Objectify.
To reduce a person to an object.

How did I get to this from that story?
First, let’s consider why we objectify others.

Fear.

Yes, Fear.
Fear of those who are Not Us.
Fear of losing wealth; identity; power; property; self.
Fear of being shamed.
Fear of becoming Equal To.

I could go on listing things that we fear. But, I think you get the idea.

In the case of Hiram’s white benefactor, she feared the shame that was a necessary part of her complicity in owning other human beings.
Don’t believe me?
Who is the subject of her philanthropy?
The slaves?
Look again. Closer.
She, and her people, are the subject. According to Coates’ portrayal, she works in order to assuage her own guilt and shame. She, and her white society are absolutely guilty of heinous crimes against humanity. So, she does what she can to combat that system.
What we learn from Hiram is what she does not do. Perhaps, she cannot do.
That is to see the slaves as Human Beings.
Real people with real lives and real needs and real feelings.
To her they are simply objects to be used in her personal battle against her personal demons.
To Hiram, they are family.

Now, I want everyone to understand that I think that kinds of efforts that people like Coates’ female benefactor are good and necessary.
Any and all efforts to alleviate suffering and instill a sense of humanity and self-worth to people is positive and should always be encouraged.

There is more, though.

We can still be what may be called ‘Good’ in our actions.
We must also become Good in our Intent.
Empathy is what stands against Objectification.
Empathy may be defined as an ability to share and understand the feelings of others.
I would take that a step further and say that Empathy is our ability to live in the skin of those who are Not Us.

We humans are naturally Tribal.
From the first time we left the arboreal life and set out across the Savannah we have grouped together for self preservation. This is ingrained deep within our DNA.
That is where Homo Sapiens came from.
It’s time now for Homo Empathicus to emerge.
Our survival as a species may depend on that.

For sure our identity as Image Bearers of God demands it.

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In The Stillness Of This Hour

Published by mhelbert on January 22, 2020

Back in the days when I followed a rather narrow, evangelical theology, I was what we called a “Worship Leader.”
For those not indoctrinated into that culture, a Worship Leader is the person who ~~performs~~, leads the church congregation in music and praise before the main speaker comes on to deliver a ~~sermon~~ lecture.
This person is essentially the warm up act before the headliner comes on stage.

When I had that job I did try to do what everyone thought we should do. That was to “invoke the Presence of the Holy Spirit.” Through music, prayer, and sometimes testimony, we sought “God’s Face” and “prepared our hearts” for the soon-to-be-delivered Word of God.

It was all very holy and, you know, uh, holy.

There were moments when it did seem as though God had condescended to join our little gathering. These occurred, not when the person leading yelled, “Hallelujah!” loud enough. Nor did God show up when someone or other began rambling in unknown ‘tongues.’ “Leaping and dancing and praising the Lord” didn’t usually attract the attention of the Lord of the Cosmos.

No.
In those rare moments when it seemed that time was suspended and you could reach out and touch the Holy One, silence reigned.
It was when we closed our mouths and put our emotions back in their storage unit that the Ineffable Presence of Yahweh walked among us.

I was reminded of this as I reflected on the time we shared last night at St. Barnabas. We began to learn how to be still. Sitting silently; expectantly.
It was a good time. At least, I thought so. And, no one else complained. So, I’m going with that!

There is one song that I remember from my days of standing on the platform with a guitar in hand. It’s one that I still find myself singing to myself as I sit at my desk in the wee hours before old Sol raises his head above the Eastern horizon. While I know that this song, nor any song, can invoke God’s Presence, sometimes a song can touch a part of our own heart and mind to focus our attention and help us be intentional about God in that moment.

Here are the lyrics to that song.
If you want to hear it, I’m sure that Google or YouTube can help you out.

In The Stillness of This Hour

In the stillness of this hour
I worship you my lord
Singing holy is the lord on high
In the quiet of my heart
I sing this song of praise
Crying holy is the lord on high

And for all of my days
I will bow down before you
Giving glory and honor to your name
And for all of my life
I will worship and adore you
Crying holy is the lord on high
Singing holy is the lord on high

Sit. Settle. Stillness. Silence.
See God.

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Another Messy Monday

Published by mhelbert on January 20, 2020

Yeah, that title doesn’t have the ring to it that The Bangles song did.
But, for those of us in Northern Ohio it is appropriate. The Lake Erie snow machine fired up over the weekend to spill snow and yuck over many parts of the area. Snow, slush, ice, and road spray are ubiquitous during these events. Cars and trucks find it hard to stay between the white lines and ODOT has difficulty keeping up. So, it’s a mess.
You’re welcome.

I spent a good share of the weekend catching up on some reading and study. Saturday and Sunday A.M. early I prepared for the weekly Bible study at St. Barnabas. We have been following the Revised Common Lectionary in the study since it began last June. It’s been a lot of fun digging into these ancient texts to see what nuggets can be mined for us today. If you’re ever in the area at 9 A.M. on Sunday, stop by!

Yesterday, after church, I got home and cleaned a bit. Then, built a fire because of the above mentioned Mess Maker that was happening. I sat in my recliner, (Yeah, life’s hard. I know it!), broke out my laptop and several books, and spent about 4 or 5 hours prepping for a class on Centering Prayer and Meditation that I will be leading Tuesday evening. It’s going to be a kind of Introduction to Contemplative Prayer 101.
We spend so much of our lives rushing here and there. When we talk to God, IF we talk to God, it’s usually in a gush of complaints, wants, and desires. We seldom stop. Breathe. Sit. Shut up. Listen. The prayers that we are going to learn about, and actually practice, this week are designed to give us space to simply ‘Be’ in God’s Presence.
So, for anyone who reads this and is in the area, you are more than welcome to stop in this Tuesday, Jan. 21, at 7 P.M. at St. Barnabas in Bay Village, OH.
We would love to share time with you.

This morning in my own quiet time I was acutely aware of my own shortcomings and failures. They loomed in front of me like a wall of granite. I could not see the top of the wall, nor the ends of it. The barrier seemed insurmountable to me.
So, I did what I do best.
I whined about it.
I know that I tend to say and do things impulsively that I immediately regret. I dwell on these until I have nearly convinced myself that God made a huge mistake letting me join the Club. Who would want someone like me around? Someone driven by desires and passions that are antithetical to all of the purity that the Scriptures seem to require of us.
I have been, and continue to be a failure, unworthy to tie the laces to Jesus’ Chuck Taylors.
That’s when I saw an image of God in my mind. Yeah, God is my imaginary Best Friend. Deal with it. Anyway, God’s eye had a gleam as God smiled and slowly shook God’s head. The God said, “You do realize that by My power I raised Jesus from the grave? And, that I formed a new body that He indwells to this day, right?”
I stopped. The realization that my fears, failings, and foibles simply could not be as earth shaking as my mind made them suddenly came upon me.
Yeah, I fail. That’s what I do best.
But, God’s Good Grace and Mercy are more than sufficient to lift me and set my feet back on the Path.
I God is able to do such for me, I know that God is more than capable to lift all of us.

Anyway, those are some thoughts that I have today.

What are some of yours?
Feel free to share in the comments.

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What Will It Take?

Published by mhelbert on January 17, 2020

Sitting in the quiet darkness of early morning.
That time of day when the gentle, white lace of frost
Caresses the grass and paints with delicate strokes upon windows.

My mind wanders paths strewn with the blown litter of oak and maple.
The creaks and cracks of the naked branches above as the gently breezes
Flow among their gnarled fingers.

And, I wonder…

Where does the sand in the glass go when it completes its task?
Time leaks into time with no direction other than Onward.

At what point do we stop and look around at our purposes and desires?
See! The Indigenous Peoples of the Earth have stories to tell.
Destroyers appeared on the horizon.
Pestilence, life Passes, Peoples Perish.

My mind sees a shadow on the plains.
Millions upon millions of stamping hooves.

Silenced.

People, lives, cultures…Gone.

I see the dense canopy of a billion leaves swaying in the wind,
Dripping the Elixir of Life, Water, onto the world of myriad creatures.

Fire; destruction; Death.

Everyday I see the result of greed and lust in vacant eyes and bleached bones.

When will we learn?

As the poet wrote,

any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.
John Donne Meditation XVII

I wrote the above as I considered our headlong leap into environmental disaster. Many people give no credence to the alarms sounded by people in the scientific community and elsewhere. We really don’t have to look beyond the Indigenous Peoples of the world. When the colonists came and destroyed their habitat, the cultures perished. Even as some Indigenous nations attempt to recapture their cultures and languages, they will be forever changed. And, not necessarily for the better.
What makes us so arrogant as to think that we will escape unscathed as we destroy our own environment?

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Unseen, Yet Known

Published by mhelbert on January 16, 2020

The poet sings, “Where is the birthplace of the wind?
From what distant lands and shores does it arise?
And, wither does it go on its unceasing journey to World’s End?”

Such is the Unseen Universe.
We see not. Blind to the brightness of its light.

Yet, as the wind is felt and the reality of its life can be
Seen in the swirling dust; the trees genuflecting to their Unseen Benefactor.
So, too is the Realm that neither eye has seen, nor ear heard.

We feel the reality in the peace that passes into our Hearts and Minds
When seated in the midst of the Glories of Nature.
Drops of Grace in the Morning Glory and the flitting Monarch.

The Finger of God cannot be seen.
Yet, it is felt in snack offered to “the Least of These” when they hunger.
The Breath of God fills the heart with joy and gladness as fine wine fills the Bride and Bridegroom on their Nuptial Day.

So, too, can the darkness of lesser gods be felt in the lust and greed that their
Systems of Race and Caste endow with power.
Powers and Principalities they were once named.
Loosed abroad to entice the weak and the gullible.
Promises of Power and Riches flow from their lying tongues.
We do not hear the word spoken aloud.
We do not need to.
The evidence…the reality…may be seen in the subjugation of Others.
We may touch their handiwork in those left homeless and without
Food, Clean Water, Warm Clothing, Companionship and Love.

We cannot know from where the Wind blows.
However, we can know that it exists.
We can join with it to produce life.
We are also able to shelter against its ferocity and appetite.

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So, What’re Ya Gonna Do?

Published by mhelbert on January 15, 2020

People have been asking me, “So, do you know what you’re gonna do after you retire?”
I know that they mean well. They want to encourage me as I move into the next phase of the Journey. And, I know that they want to convince themselves that there can, indeed, be life after work. I know that because I asked the same questions to others as they laid aside the garments of labor and took up the mantle of the Retired.

To be honest, though, I’m not entirely sure what’s next. Like I told the person at Social Security yesterday as she was asking all sorts of questions, “I don’t know. I’ve never retired before.”
That’s the truth.
This is all new and uncharted territory. I don’t know for sure what’s coming next.
Yeah, I’m lining up some options. But, nothing yet etched in stone.

It might be easier if I told people what I will NOT be doing.

So, here’s a list of things that I’m sure will not happen after March 31, 2020.

I will not pack a lunch and drive to Cleveland in order to work. There will be no time clock to punch. No deadlines to meet. This may be the most significant thing that will not happen.
I will not buy golf clubs and take up that game. I do not now, nor have I ever, seen any use in chasing a little white ball around a cow pasture with a stick. Not gonna happen.
I will not plop my butt in my recliner and turn on the tube. (For those of you who may be unaware, the “tube” refers to the television. They used to use Cathode Ray Tubes to produce a picture.) The remote will remain remote from my fingers. Not gonna sit and watch the world go by. Won’t happen.
I will not buy a winter home in Florida or Texas or New Mexico. Not gonna be a Snowbird. That’s not to say that we may not relocate to a warmer clime. But, going back and forth between two properties? Not gonna happen.
I will not take up playing cards or bingo or bocce ball or any of those other activities where old folks in Bermuda shorts with black support stockings stand around pretending to be active. If at some time my physical condition should deteriorate to the point that I am forced into assisted living, well, I’ve given instructions that I should be taken out behind the barn and shot. I fully intend to spend more time at Planet Fitness than sitting at a card table.
I’m not going to put up with a batch of shit from people who think they can go around spreading that manure. I’m old now. I don’t need that from folks. Nope. Not gonna happen.
I’m not going to give up my hope in people to grow and do the right things. No, I don’t place faith in Human Nature. We have 50,000 years of experience to show that’s not really trustworthy. But, we also have example after example of people stepping up to the task of being God’s Ikons in this world. I have witnessed too many people doing right. And, I know that God has not given up on us, either. So, not gonna give up.

I know that you were probably expecting a Top Ten List.
Well, that’s something else I’m not gonna do. In fact, I have already begun it.
I’m not gonna live up to the expectations of other people.
I have never been able to do that.
Not gonna start now.

So, there you have it. A brief look at my “Not To Do List.”
I think everyone should have one of these. It may help avoid all kinds of trouble.

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