When Sleep Eludes

I’ve had a hard time sleeping recently. I don’t know why. It could be lots of different things that conspire against me to keep me awake. I can fall asleep initially OK. But, I awaken several times during the night. And, I find that those are the times when I find it bloody near impossible to reclaim my repose.

My mind just won’t shut the hell up.

Thoughts appear, disappear, reappear…it’s frustrating.

But, sometimes a fruitful thought arises out of the mists of frustration.
This past weekend held one of those times.

I woke up a tad past midnight Sunday A.M.
Got up and walked around a bit. Then, lay back down.
As I lay there, hoping and praying to find my way back into my dreamscape, a kernel of an idea began to germinate in the, now fully awake, fertile soil of my imagination.

Some time ago the priest at the church I attend had asked if I might be willing to share a homily. (That’s ‘sermon’ for the non-liturgical set.) I told him that I would give it some thought. I’m pretty much a newbie there and have yet to become a confirmed member. I took his request seriously. I’ve found over the years that people like him seem to have a sense of things that I many times miss. So, I tend to listen when they speak.
As I considered things, an idea began to develop. I chewed on it a while. Then, set it aside because I decided that if I was to share anything I would wait until after my November confirmation. Then, probably, wait until after Advent and Christmas. No hurry to develop those nascent ideas.

Well, it seems that my brain decided a different tack was in order.
So, while I lay awake this past Sunday A.M., the idea grew and developed into a full-blown message ready for harvest.
Of course, everything that people think in the middle of the night seems like a grand masterpiece of rhetorical genius.
This was no exception.
I probably lay there for 2 hours rehearsing that thing over and over and over in my mind.
Finally, I had to say STOP!
There were things that I needed to do Sunday A.M. that were to begin at 5 A.M.
Sorry, laying awake until 2 wasn’t helping.

But, the foundation was laid.
I spoke with the priest after the service to let him know of my intent.
He smiled. I think he knew that I’d eventually figure out that his request was a good and necessary one.
Yeah, we’ll see how he feels afterwards! ;o)

Perhaps, I’ll share some of these thoughts here over the next while.
Throw them against the wall and see what sticks.

For now?
I just wanted to share a bit about the processes that my troubled, over-tired brain takes as it decides to drive.
Good stuff sometimes grows in there.

But, right now?

I really need a nap!