Category: vulnerability

Recently I wrote several posts about Unity in the Church.
While much of that is applicable to our everyday relationships with anyone, I want to be clear that my main focus was on the Church. How do we strive for Unity within the Body of Christ?
That was Paul’s focus when he wrote that letter to the Church at Corinth. And, it was mine while writing of our task today.

I also wanted to make it clear that I do NOT support the thoughts or “Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs” of some members of our Tribe. They are hurtful, hateful, and bigoted. They should be called out for what they are, “Barriers to keep “Others” out.”

There are other thoughts, though, that play a similar role.
That of ‘Keeping Ours IN.’
If we are honest, most of us really desire to be a part of something larger than we are. We want to identify with the winning team. (Those of us in the Cleveland, OH area have difficulty relating to that!)
We hope that the tribe that we align with will be regarded as ‘Good’ and ‘Strong.’
I remember when I first chose to follow Jesus I was part of a community of people who truly desired to follow Jesus just like the folks in the First Church. Part of our hope was that the people in the city where we lived would see us living together in love. We tried to embody the communal love of God conspicuously. We were convinced that if the World could only see how Christ followers could truly live together that they would start beating down our doors in order to share in the Love with us.
But, alas, they only saw a bunch of hippies who had horses in the garage.

That didn’t stop us though, from trying to build a counter-culture that could speak to those who were Lost and Wandering in the Darkness that was Secular Culture.
We developed our own music and art. We chose private Christian schools for our children. Or, homeschooled them so that they would not be tainted by the secular doctrines of death that were foist upon unsuspecting public school students.
Our leaders began to show us how our way of thinking and living was the only true and virtuous way.
And, the gatekeepers got stronger.
Soon we had our own stores and businesses. Of course, we were all expected to patronize these because, well, they were Christian, Silly! It didn’t matter that they were not nearly as good as the secular places. They were members of our Tribe!
The music that we developed was, at best, second rate. One singer asked the question in a song, “Why Should The Devil Have All The Good Music?”
Well, because ours was just bad!!!
Yet, we kept forging ahead trying to develop “Real, True Christian Stuff” so that we didn’t need to sully ourselves with that worldly stuff.

Those who told us that they were anointed to lead us continued to direct us toward so-called Godly writers and teachers and other guides who would help us to become more and more transformed into the likeness of the god that we created.

People like James Dobson became our life gurus on how to raise children. Others, like Dave Ramsey, started groups to advise us on financial matters. These people, and many others, touted a Biblical Standard that would enable everyone who followed their practices to live free in an imagined “Bible Land” where we would thrive in Holy Peace.

In the community I was a part of the leaders actively taught these principles. And, because of the heavy-handed pastoral guidance that was part of our life together, many times demanded our compliance.
Of course, this was done because the ‘loved’ us and only desired that we be free to worship God in Spirit and Truth.

So, we willingly followed like sheep follow their beloved shepherd. In fact, that very image was used to describe our relationship with the leadership.

Here’s the rub for me as I look back.

No one put a gun to my head and told me that I HAD to comply with this. I followed them willingly. Even when I knew that something didn’t sound or feel right. I rationalized away my concerns because I Trusted these people to guide me.
I placed my life and my family’s in the hands of men who said that they were leading us along the Straight and Narrow path that would ensure our well-being, indeed, our very salvation.
I chose that path.

Until, I didn’t.

The damage that I did to my family and myself is my own responsibility. I checked my brain at the door and lived in a world where I could say to God, “It wasn’t me, Lord! I just did what I was told by those guys that YOU PUT IN CHARGE! Not my fault!”

But, it was my fault.

We humans like to deflect responsibility from ourselves when there are negative outcomes.
Just like Flip Wilson so many years ago, “The devil made me do it!”
I could point at those leaders and say, “But, they told me to do that!” like it was some sort of magic get out of jail free card.

It wasn’t.
I am still the only person responsible for my actions.
And, they have not always been virtuous.
Lack of faithfulness to my wife and family? — Check.
Poor stewardship of my resources? — Check.
Lousy parenting? — Yep, that too.
Unloving son and brother? — Check.

I could go on and on.

The point of all of this is that I gave my God-Given responsibilities to people who were never supposed to take them from me.
I did that.
Me.
Alone.

I bear the responsibility for my own failings.
Unfortunately, others bear the the scars from my failings.
For that, I am deeply sorry.
I knew better.
But, I did worse.

This is the danger of placing one’s trust in others who, themselves, are struggling and ignorant of the hurt that they inflict on people.

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