To state the obvious, this has been an interesting month.
It began with me looking forward to entering the world of the retired in about 8 weeks.
Now, I’m preparing to fight cancer.
Surprise!
On top of that, I’ve been struggling with some kind of virus that’s kicking my butt. I have slept maybe an hour out of the last 36.
Coughing, hacking, and not being able to breathe have helped that.
Then, there’s the stress and anxiety of dealing with the cancer.
Doesn’t lend itself to a restful night’s sleep.
Yesterday, I met with the surgeon who is going to treat me.
We talked about the results of the CT Scan.
That proved to be interesting.
In the report I read, it noted that there were a few small spots on my liver that were too small to identify.
The doc said that these are most likely simply cysts that are completely normal.
But, there’s always a “but,” he wants to be sure.
That means I get to have an MRI before they do the surgery.
Now, if the spots on my liver turn out to be cysts, or some other innocuous thing, then surgery goes on as scheduled.
If, however, they are not then the surgery’s off and we begin chemo.
Yippee.
We won’t know for 2 more weeks.
More waiting and not knowing.
I also saw my cardiologist. He needs to give me clearance to have anesthesia. He ordered a nuclear stress test.
Another layer of Pain In The Ass.
The surgeon’s office gave me a folder full of instructions that I must follow to the letter before the procedure.
I thought prepping for a colonoscopy was interesting.
I ain’t seen nothin’ yet.
By the time I got home from seeing these docs I just wanted to jump up and down and scream, “F#@K!, F#@K!, F#@K!, F#@K!, F#@K!” and break things.
I’m frustrated, angry, sad, bummed, anxious, scared, and a myriad other emotions.
I know that this is a normal reaction to this kind of, what?, disruption?
No one plans for these things.
It’s part of being human.
We hit bumps in the road. (Or, in this case, the road ends and you fly over the cliff).
I’ll get through this.
But, c’mon already!
Sorry.
This has been my rant for the day.
Hopefully, now I can get some sleep.
Mike, this doesn’t seem fair, I say that all the time, Bob use to tell me honey “life isn’t fair” we can’t change it so we fight to keep going, I can’t imagine how difficult this is, but you have so many people praying for you, and I believe if anyone can do it you can! Just know we all love you. One day at a time! I pray God will see you thru all this…Love & Prayers to you & Hope.
Thank you so much, Donna! i am grateful for the outpouring of support I’ve received.
Moke, this doesn’t seem fair, I say that all the time, Bob use to tell me honey “life isn’t fair” we can’t change it so we fight to keep going, I can’t imagine how difficult this is, but you have so many people praying for you, and I believe if anyone can do it you can! Just know we all love you. One day at a time! I pray God will see you thru all this…Love & Prayers to you & Hope.
My Love and Prayers are with you….you got this cuz.
Thank you, Melissa!
I will hope for the best situation for you!
Love you all❤️
Thank You, Nancy!