When I was child I ran around the yard with my friends in the Summertime Evening.
We chased an elusive, yellow glow floating between heaven and earth.
Caught!
Opening my small-boy hand, I peer at the tiny creature walking along the Life Line of my palm.
Pulsating glow.
0ne-Two; On-Off.
Pulse of Life coursing through my veins.
One-Two; On-Off
“You wear your glow on the outside,” says I.
“Your is hidden within,” replies my glowing friend. “Let it out! Shine your Living Glow! Bring Happiness to the One to whom the Inner Beacon calls. Join the chorus of Joy and Praise as we All shine!
Why is sadness a bad thing? Should we all always allineate with the herd? Fish find fluid fine to breathe, That is their reality; their particular world. What if sadness is mine? The air that circulates in my lungs; The Oxygen coursing through my veins Bringing life to the cells that structure this frame? Who are you, Happy Person, to judge my reality?
Yes, tears stand ready to serve me at a drop of the hat. And, yes, my throat tightens and constricts when I gaze at you. What makes that any different than the derision that you Hold for me that erupts in guffaws and laughter?
No! You don’t get to judge my world. But, I will hold yours responsible for the Hurt; the damage and destruction that your Unreasoning judgment has wrought on me And those who limp through this existence Like I do.
My sadness is my crown and You cannot take it from me.
“Cold hearted orb that rules the night,” proclaimed the Minstrel in Song.
His connection to the River of Creativity that courses through the Universe, wetting our souls with deep insight and wisdom, revealed that to him as “Truth.”
But, is it truly?
No. I think not.
Born in torment, Artemis broke free and roamed the wilds seeking her own under the silver, lunar light that illumines the night; illumines the heart.
“Freedom,” the goddess cried out in the forest she so loved.
Freedom, in the water reflection of her friend and charge as its image rippled on the surface of the water.
“Cold hearted orb?”
No.
Rather, freedom that shines in the silver-lumined teardrop that slips silently down my cheek.
Are they the result of millions of years of adaptation? A stew-like chemistry experiment that has never ended, that just keeps going and going and going….?
They allow us to fear danger and cleave to love. They are at the same time self-serving and self-giving.
Feelings are a Paradox.
Or, perhaps as some insist, Feelings are God-created and God-given. A gift to the Cosmos to be cherished. And, crushed. Because we can’t have those feelings running rampant in the Universe, now, can we? Besides, they are fleeting and cannot be trusted with things like truth and reality. Only faith in an invisible God can provide those.
If from God, then, does God feel? Does this Supreme Being express Supreme Passion?
Feelings are Good. No, wait! Feelings are Bad! No, wait! Feelings are complicated.
Emotions are elusive; effusive. Wisps of vapor that may cumulate and become cumulonimbus thunderheads filled with pervasive power that pummels our hearts casting a wide swath of destruction.
But, also cleansing the atmosphere of our heart. Refreshing. Reclaiming. Rousing us to reach for the mountaintops, even for the stars of heaven.
Why do we try to suppress feelings? Something so basic, yet absolutely intrinsic to who we are as Humans?
After so many years hiking through the wilderness of this life, I think, maybe, perchance, (I’m really not sure), that I am finally beginning to see and grasp something, some understanding (?), of this indwelling power. For, emotions…Feelings…are as important and necessary for our existence as the air we breathe. When stuffed and hidden, we suffocate, wither, and die. Such has been my experience.
But, maybe, just as the withered plant revives when given the life-giving water that courses through its chlorophyll laden veins, I, too, may revive and find life as I open myself to that emotive well-spring of my heart.
